How much is too much? According to a recent article on the ABCNews website, kids birthday parties are starting to rival P Diddy's annual Hamptons bash. From first birthday parties being held at the Mandrian Oriental Hotel in Manhattan to renting out FAO Schwartz, some parents will stop at nothing to throw a bash more worthy of a wedding than a toddler's birthday.
We wonder, as new parents, will we always be able to recognize when we have crossed the line from generosity to extravagance, and do we always recognize the difference between indulging our children and one-upping our social circle? Because we all like to think we do. We bet every parent mentioned in this article would say they do, and yet .... the $50,000 birthday party. For a one year old.
Are you throwing a birthday bash this summer? Able to do it for less than $50,000? Tell us how you did it!
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I have to say, most of the articles in the Nursery have no relevance to my life, and this is a prime example. I'm not sure why this is -- I mean, all of the AT sites feature products/services that are mostly way over my budget, but it seems like the Nursery does so far more than the others. It's pretty irritating.
To answer the question, my son's 1st birthday party was a potluck. The space was the office of an organization where I volunteered and where he had spent much of his young life; it was free. I bought the cake and beverages. His 2nd birthday was the 2 of us with a cupcake at home, which he was thrilled with. His 3rd birthday was an exhausting extravaganza at Bullwinkle's Family Fun Center - I rented a table, bought pizza and cake, and paid admission for all the kids to the giant hamster maze, and I think I paid about $150 which was too much in my opinion. I cannot fathom paying more than that for a small child's birthday, and fortunately, neither can the rest of my social circle.
view mjoe's profile
For my first child, we had his 1-year birthday party in a child-friendly park (complete with wading pool). My in-laws and extended family made the food, I organised invitations, games and party bags. I hijacked someone's hi-tech printer at work to print and bind the invitations (a colouring book with instructions on how to get to the party). The party bags contained colouring pages that I printed, crayons, and an age-appropriate gift under $5 (I accumulated these gifts from sales over the year, knowing that I would probably need them for the baby's birthday). I got lazy and just organised one game (a scavenger hunt for park/nature things) and the "prize" was a party bag. Simple and every kid was a winner.
The biggest problem I faced was the fact that family and in-laws wanted to invite everyone under the sun...then stressed out because there was so much to do. I continue to struggle with this problem and will probably do so at the kids' 21st birthday parties. :-)
$50,000? That's more than we spent on our honeymoon! (And it lasted a month and was much more fun. *lol*)
view Kat's profile
Like mjoe, we're into simple living and volunteering- and I can see how this type of post may be off-putting.
While I hope it doesn't place the new reasonable ceiling for preschool parties at anything under $49,999, I think this kind of story (like the private jets to summer camp one earlier this month) might introduce some important conversation for "the rest of us."
It's nice to have reminders that those spending the most don't have to be bellwethers - leading the rest of us like lemmings into insane debt and feelings of inadequacy. Being able to criticize this behavior may help some people feel more empowered to rely on their own good judgment and instincts when faced with the pressure of their own peer group (though those pressures may be more of the Chuck E. Cheese or "Should I give treat bags" variety).
We're pretty low-key about birthdays here. I really like and recommend the suggestions and resources at Birthdays without Pressure (http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org) for anyone who is looking for alternatives.
view adrienne's profile
You know, it would be less off-putting if there was more balance, if I was seeing more things in The Nursery that were reasonably priced. And, fine to have a discussion about low-key, low-budget birthdays or how not to succumb to parent peer pressure, but why should $50,000 birthday parties rather than Chuck E. Cheese be the jumping off point for this discussion? This is just so over the top. Does anyone here live in the same universe as these people, really?
view mjoe's profile
mjoe, you are so right. a $50,000 party to go with your $275 hamper. not even remotely in our budget.
adrienne, thanks for the link.
our daughter's first birthday is soon, and it is conveniently the same week as an outdoor screening of a good family movie, so we are inviting our friends to join us for that. we'll bring cake. gifts very optional. i'm guessing it will cost us under $50, and hopefully it will be laid back, and we'll have fun.
view lb's profile
Whattever happened to a home made cake (okay, maybe from a box) a few paper decorations and presents? Geez... these are kids! All you need is a cardboard box to entertain them.
Say goodbye to imagination... no wonder kids are growing up with such a sense of entitlement. This makes me very sad.
view val299's profile
We're having a small 5th birthday party for my son in a few weeks. It's a backyard shindig, the kids can run around and play on the swingset or in the sandbox and then we'll have pizza and cake. I think I'll be making the cake myself. Oh, and we are going to have a pinata! I can't wait. He's very excited to be having his very first birthday party with friends so I don't think it matters how much (or little) we spend. He's looking forward to playing and eating cake.
$50k on a party? No way. My first house only cost $86k! My wedding wasn't even near $50k.
view donnafergie's profile