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Some good advice! Though I take the stuff about crowds with a grain of salt. Assuming the kid was born in a hospital and making trips to the pediatrician--both of them typically crowded and filthy--the grocery store feels like a pretty benign place to go. I was lucky to have a summer baby, so I didn't have to worry much about cold and flu season.

Correction on no.1 -- newborns should not sleep through the night for at least TWO weeks -- it is okay after that, if their checkups show they are gaining the right amount of weight (phew! you got me worried -- our daughter slept through the night be 4 weeks).

I'd add watch out for heat/sun when you take them out, and don't overbundle them in their stroller/crib. I've seen newborns being pushed around in strollers by their parents, with no shade on them, their faces turning bright red in the sun and heat -- well on their way to heat stroke and/or dehydration. Also at outdoor events, even during summertime scorchers, babies are sometimes covered in layers and layers of blankets, with blankets draped over the stroller (to protect from the sun), with precious little air circulation and too much heat.

don't use nail clippers to clip newborns nails. I know it sounds weird but its much easier to bite their nails. Every new mom/dad I know has cut there baby's skin while trying to use regular nail clippers...very stressful!!

Wha?!?! Really? Why not just use a nail file?

I found that a nail file didn't help that much because their nails are so soft and flexible. Really, just bite a little at one end and then peel the nail off. It's so easy. I tried using a clipper and pinched and cut my baby's skin. The skin peeled on his fingers for a week and he had terrible hang nails. Bitting, although it sounds strange, is much better.

I'd add to be prepared for the unexpected. Just when you get complacent, babies will do something utterly drastic. So many babies rollover for the first time right off of the changing table, or bed, or couch because parents don't think they're ready! Get ready for to be completely surprised by them every day.

monika, you are so right. i hate seeing babies who are over-bundled with all the blankets. yikes! our baby was born in july, and going out in a sling wearing a onesie was plenty to keep her warm.

Well, now I am totally grossed out.

Here's a big one:

Don't do anything that might be perceived as "stimulating" during night-time feedings, unless you actually enjoy waking up several times a night. Keep lights dim (if not off) and keep it B-O-R-I-N-G. No talking, no cooing, no eye-contact (babies' heart rates soar when they make eye contact), no singing, no extra snuggline, no diaper changes unless absolutely necessary. The more "just business" you keep the feedings, the sooner your baby will figure out that night-time is for sleeping. Keyword: boring.

Other good advice for parents-to-be:
Spend less time reading up on every pregnancy symptom, preparing a detailed birth plan and decorating the nursery, and more time practicing on a friend's newborn, reading up on how to establish healthy sleep habits, learning about breastfeeding, and organizing a support team for the first 2-3 months so get help with dinner, laundry, etc.

Just remember to have fun with your little one! I tend to get caught up in trying to do everything the right way (whatever that is at the moment!) that I forget to just enjoy.

I'm a big advocate of on-demand feeding, but I wouldn't necessarily consider it a rule. Scheduled feeds kept me sane as a mother of newborn twins. I think there's room for some flexible scheduling coupled with a healthy dose of common sense. Also, I've taken my newborns out shopping at 1-2 weeks old and I've never had any problems. In their prams, they're usually not close enough to strangers to catch any diseases. And finally, I think that at a certain point, it's not unreasonable to have babies sleeping on their sides/stomachs. I wouldn't do it for a newborn, but one of my twins has been comfortable lying on her stomach since she was a few weeks old. Having said that, I only let her do this for daytime naps (whenI could monitor her) until she was able to support her head.

Hi~ a newborn doesn't need to be awake to eat, since the sucking reflex "works" even if they're sleeping, at least for the first two months of life. It is since possible to let a baby sleep through the night and still have him fed. I do that with my 5 month old. Just pick him up quietly and attach him to the breast. He will suck, eat and don't even bother waking up.

off topic:
A mistake I've seen often is newborns with onesies' sleeves that cover their hands. The sleeves must get to the wrists and no farther, otherwise they will be constantly stimulated to grasp (grasp reflex) and will have a hard time settling down.

Kat, if you are nursing, on-demand--before demand!--on CUE--feeding is essential for baby's health and mom's milk supply. It should be one of the few real rules. I'm not sure how it works with formula.

bite the nails off...gross..we didn't do that, we didn't use those stupid "baby clippers" either, we used small cuticle scissors. Worked great and we still use them.

I disagree w/#3 I ready think that's just way too out there for me. But then again when my son was 10 wks old we took him to London and people thought we were nuts.

#5 Totally agree with! So many times I "did what the book said" and not what my head said. Next time I'll know better.

Drives me crazy that these "tips" contradict themselves...number 1 says "feed every 4 hours at night" then number 2 says "don't follow a feeding schedule" Am I the only one who finds those two contradictory?

Also about the whole "feed on demand" thing...with my first child, I thought every time she cried she was hungry. It made sense to me because she would always stop crying when I popped a boob in her mouth. That turned into me feeding her 20 times a day, sometimes for hours on end. I would try to take it out while she was sleeping, and she could cry. Needless to say, I was a mental and physical basket case. Finally we got her to accept a pacifier at 6 weeks. So for those with really "sucky" babies who would eat all day if they could, some sort of schedule is important so you don't spend all day feeding. My 2cents.

NCB- You're so right! Totally missed it the first time. Guess that's supposed to take us straight to Tip #5...

And I'm sorry but comments like lb's drive me crazy. Most comments here are "This worked for me" or "I agree with this," but I just tune out when someone comes on here and starts to lecture others.

With the feed every four hours at night thing: some newborns are very sleepy (esp if jaundiced) and need to be fed more often than they are cuing to be fed. I don't see anything contradictory about saying, "Feed on demand, but offer every few hours if you aren't getting any hunger cues."
It is totally normal for a newborn human to nurse extremely frequently and for hours at a time. It's how they grow, and how milk supply is established. It's not that convenient, but it's normal. If pacis work, great, but for babies to need to nurse uber-often is totally normal.

Just remember...you know your child better than ANYONE, so trust your instinct. This was the best piece of advice I could have ever received. My 3rd son seemed to be constantly sleepy and a poor nurser. I had him in to the hospital daily for weight checks, because I just "felt" there was something wrong (I had successfully nursed 2 others.) The lactation consultants, doctors, nurses all kept telling me it was most likely my milk, and I should supplement. I continued to persist, and at 7 weeks it was finally discoverd that he had a very serious heart defect and needed emergency surgery. Thank goodness I trusted my own instinct - even though after awhile others made me start to doubt myself. I still repeat this bit of advice even now that my children are older and in school (9,7 and 3.)

A baby has the RIGHT to be sate. That as mothers should be our first rule.
My baby wasn't getting enough, and breastfeeding talibans were telling me to keep on going, 24 hour a day with baby latched on. I thought it was the best and did it for 2 months. Then a paediatrician with common sense told me to start supplementing. And baby started finally thriving.

lb--I breastfeed, and I still used a feeding schedule with the twins. As I said, it was flexible, and I think we managed to work out the demand (theirs) part without totally sacrificing the sleep (mine) part. I admit to giving formula comps, though (currently one bottle/child/day). But on the whole, I don't think it's affected my milk supply. If anything, it helps me get through the evening feeds which, if I stuck with the breast, would mean feeding for about three hours straight. My first child was fully breastfed on demand, and I have to say that I notice the difference.

All of which is to say that I don't think feeding on demand is an iron-clad rule, provided that feed scheduling is applied with some common sense.

I think mother's of multiples should be excused form "iron-clad" rules about feeding on demand. I don't have twins myself, but Kat's system seems to be the way I would do it if I ever did. I mean, come on, what if they choose to feed on separate schedules?? Mother's aren't machines! I sincerely congratulate her on sticking with breastfeeding when I'm sure there have been times she felt like giving up. I fed on demand for my daughter and found it quite, ahem, demanding! And to be fair, I'm sure formula-feeding twins, etc., can't be much easier.

breastfeeding taliban hahahahahaha... so true.

Similar to the prior poster, I swatted them away after 3 months. I knew I needed to supplement. Lo and behold, my baby (size 3 mo at 10 weeks), shot-up to size 24 months by 6 months. No WAY I could have exclusively breast fed my way through that.

As for nails: We use a blue emory board on my son's fingers, and haven't had any problems.

Another word of advice: ask any potential visitors if they are sick or know anyone who is sick prior to inviting them. When they arrive, ask everyone to wash their hands. A lot of people lack common sense and will show-up when everyone in their family has a bad case of the flu. Or they will touch the baby after just gripping a subway handrail for the last 5 min.

Wow. My three kids were fat and happy, slept almost all night right away. So glad I didn't hear this advice then! The only time when I woke them was if my milk let down to the point where I needed relief. Even then they rarely nursed enough to cure me so I used it as an op to pump milk. They nursed plenty when they were awake, though not incessantly. THe only time nursing was constant was when they were sick, and I was happy for the ability to keep them hydrated.

Having good births and easy babies was a great help in making up for the misery of pregnancy and constant nausea!

I second that "housefulloffur." My now 2 & 3yo started sleeping through the night as infants pretty early on, and my doc said let them and enjoy it. Their weight was great, and I personally loved being on a schedule with feedings, so I encourage others to not feel like the whole "eat on demand" is a set rule.

Always use common sense though & listen to your Dr. I personally think that when babies nurse too often they tend to not get full feedings (often missing out on nutrient-rich hind milk) & as a result are hungry more often which just starts a cycle. By letting my lil ones sleep through the night when they were ready seemed to make them more rested & happy during the day, & then I'd do very long (& yes, [gasp] scheduled) feedings during the day. As they got older they really found comfort in having a schedule during their day, and to this day they are amazing sleepers/nappers.

Of course a "schedule" is just a guide to HELP the parent and the baby, and should never be taken tooo seriously :) And I agree with everyone that a mom should be able to do what she thinks is best for her baby, without anyone lecturing or looking down on her. What worked for me doesn't mean it will work for everyone!

Great post - especially since I'm pregnant with our first and am anxiously awaiting our little one's arrival!

I have a 20mth old and an 11 week old both and have breastfed both on demand, still feeding my son fed daughter til was i about 5mths pregnant, both have slept through from early on though my 2nd is much better ( and 1st decided to wake up during the night at about 5 mths), my 2nd sleeps 10 to 11 hrs straight, i find the most important thing is burping after feeds, i worked out with my daughter that that was the reason she was getting upset when in the first few weeks i would put her on the boob everytime cause i thought she was hungry where infact she needed burping, (a friend told me it helped with their boy), so, much more aware of it this time, know he needs burping if he pokes his tongue i and out and if his stomach is hard and fists clenched i don't put him down till his tummy is soft and fist not tight, and more aware of when i last fed him. I see so many mothers who feed and put the child straight down without burping, i think it's the most underrated thing about feeding babies, also notice when i have onion he gets a really upset stomach :P I know everybaby is different but think that it is something we don't really get told about when you have your baby

My best piece of advice is to STOP reading advice books and articles!! There's something to be said for being well-informed and have a wealth of resources at hand, but it can make you crazy. There is cue feeding, demand feeding, flexible scheduling, swaddle or no swaddle, pacifier or no pacifier, co-sleep or not, baby-wearing or not, and on and on and on!!

At one point, I counted a dozen baby sleep/feeding/soothing/etc. books on my bookshelf. I was already a worrier and unsure of myself, and all of the conflicting information was starting to freak me out. So, use common sense, get a good pediatrician that you trust, and good luck wading through all of the advice out there!

Damn right Amber M. I personally prefer Parent Directed Feeding for sanity in our home. Your baby won't die one way or the other. Feed your baby, love your baby, hold your baby, get sleep when you can.

All visitors must bring meals and wash hands.

For me the biggest mistake I made with my newborn was that I was tried to do everything. Don't be afraid to ask or take help when offered.