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I didn't realize this was a new thing. My dad gave my mom a diamond necklace when I was born over 30 years ago with 3 diamonds - one for each of us. Who knew dear old dad was a trendsetter?

This seems to be very common in our circle. We adopted, so I didn't receive a gift for "pushing"--but the process of adoption required a lot of work, most of which I tackled. For the birth & adoption of both our children, my husband gave me a gift of jewelry to commemorate the occasion. I cherish these pieces and wear them daily.

I never received -- or thought to ask for -- any "push" presents, but I have shamelessly guilted my husband into going along with my desire for a new sofa (a comfy place to park my pregnant butt) and a kitchen renovation (you know, for the baby).

He's also on full diaper duty when he's at home. That's the best present of all.

Well, I got a ring, but it didn't look anything like that one! I consider it a second wedding ring...

Ya know, I've kind of been hoping my husband would get me something to commemorate the birth of our son when he arrives in February (doubtful..the man has yet to remember to fill my stocking at Christmas). But I never thought of those kinds of gifts as "rewards" for surviving the nine months and then pushing out the baby (seems tacky). It seems to me like a very sweet commemorative type thing for a husband to give the mother of his child/ren.

So wait, if 40% of women thought that the baby was all the reward they needed, that means a whopping 60% thought they needed more!? How about a cookie, sweetheart? Dang.

I think the idea of having a commemorative gift for the birth of your child is a really sweet idea, and it's more the language that is being used nowadays to refer to these gifts that is tacky. Talking about them being "push" gifts, and "rewards" from a man to the woman who's bearing "his" child, just sounds very misogynistic to me. But to be honest, I'm not a parent yet, so maybe I'm being dreadfully naive.

I want diamond earrings when I have my first child! Aint nothing wrong with a little materialism, but I agree with Kristin11.

I didn't get a push present for either child, but shortly after baby #2 arrived our digital camera bit the dust, so we went out and bought a new one. Since I'm the primary photographer in our family, my husband joked that the camera was my push present.

IMHO push presents seem a bit ridiculous. I was just happy enough to have beautiful healthy babies. And geez, aren't there enough expenses with having kids?

Azca - LOL, DH also neglects my Christmas stocking.

Um... by the way... where did you find that ring?! It is beautiful!

I don't know anyone that actually called it a "push" present. I don't think there is anything wrong with a man thanking his wife for bearing their child. I think it is a romantic gesture, of course it doesn't compare to the blessing of a new baby! I also think it is incredibly condescending to act as if recipients are somehow ungrateful for their children and that is why they would like a gift. Sounds like sour grapes to me.

I had never heard of the trend... nor the sentiment until my friend's wedding last year.

The bride wore a beautiful multiple strand pearl choker featuring a stunning cameo. This was a very unusual piece... like nothing I'd ever seen before.... but thought, "That necklace is so HER!"
Of course many guests asked about the necklace and she told us that her father gave it to her mother on the day that she (the bride) was born.

Instantly, I thought that was the sweetest thing I ever heard!! How perfect to wear it on her wedding day... commemorating the start of her own family!

Apparantly, my friend wore that necklace around the house and to the playground and probably to school when she was a little girl. She's a jewlery - well - whore doesn't sound right... but you get my meaning.

i didn't get a 'push' present...honestly, i feel like my baby was my present, and the pride i had in myself after all my pushing (no drugs baby!) was all i needed. i did however want a commemorative gift, something i could wear and clasp onto when i'm at work and my daughter isn't near me (i didn't get because we really can't afford it as the hubby quit his job to do freelance from home and raise our daughter.)

clickchick - i love the story of your friend's wedding and jewelry. i wonder if you have a son if you get something he could wear on his wedding tie (maybe earrings he can then use as a tie tack?) or something you can ask his bride to wear?

I agree that it's the negative connotation of "push" gift here. If this were written differenly with "token of appreciation" or "jewelry to commemorate child's birth", this wouldn't even be a post. I feel the same way about engagement/wedding jewelry -- it is an optional symbol of a milestone in life ... why should a birth be any different?

Should clarify. I think a new father giving the new mother a token of any sort is a genuinely sweet (but hardly required) gesture. A mother requesting (or demanding) a gift for bearing a child is just a greedy biotch.

Does it have to be jewelry? My husband took me to London for a week when my son was 10 weeks old. It was actually for my birthday but I think it counts as a birthing gift.

Also, when my husband was born his grandmother bought herself a small, daisy style, diamond pendant. She wore it every day of her life from the day he was born until the day she died. He gave it to me when he asked me to marry him. I will give it to my son to give to his fiancé as well.


J

I really enjoyed being pregnant and I was denied the opportunity to push my daughter into the world (footling breech). I think it was much harder on my partner, who catered to my needs during pregnancy and cared for me and our daughter after a bad c-section experience. I did get her a gift (a tattoo--but she has yet to cash it in) when her adoption of our daughter was finalized.

If it's just commemorative, why doesn't the father get one too?

it's traditional here in italy to give the neo-mum a diamond ring or diamond something as a commemoration of the event.
the darling father of my son and i don't go for these things.
if you're gonna give me diamonds, do it cos you want to give me a present cos you love me, not because i gave you a child! my son is to me a mutual gift we gave one another, i did the 'labour work', but we're in this together, and i'm not an athlete who wants a medal for having given birth!
on the other hand, the day the three of us got home from hospital, i found a dozen red roses for me and a dozen blue roses for my little terror. i dried and kept one of each.

AT - where is that ring from???? Love it!

I've been hearing about "baby gifts" from father to mother, and it sounds like a sweet idea as a commemorative or sentimental gift when it comes from a thoughtful spouse (and yes, men should get one, too, although Mom's probably a bit distracted to make the presentation shortly after giving birth).

When it's given because of a demand or expectation, it becomes payment, not a gift. That's when it becomes crass.

My husband would just give me whatever I ask for, and I don't need a baby to be the reason why. That said, I don't really want much, and I didn't want a push present. I think a commemorative (sp) gift is fine, but to expect one is tacky.

My husband surprised me with the gift of pearl earrings from Tiffany's. Our daughter was due in June, so her birthstone would have been Pearl. I say "would have been" because she was three weeks early and born in May. After giving me the earrings, he offered to return them and purchase some in the May birthstone, but I loved the gesture and the pearls, so I kept them. It was a very sweet commemorative gift.

My husband didn't even remember to bring the video camera into the birthing room.... :)

If I'd gotten a push present it would have been because I'd ask for one, which certainly defeats the intention of the sentiment.

I love the idea of the cameo necklace, though!