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Blogging the LA Times: Remember 'Go Outside and Play'?

go-outside.jpgThe thinking behind this column by Rosa Brooks is not exactly news: children today are overscheduled and overly controlled, which is leading to an epidemic of childhood obesity and turning kids to violent, thrill-seeking video games, etc., etc. Put another way, according to the column's subhead: "Overbearing parents have taken the fun out of childhood and turned it into a grind."

Have they? Really?

 
 

Perhaps it's because our experience is mostly with the baby-to-preschool crowd, but we don't have a lot of first-hand exposure to the crimes of which Brooks is accusing parents. The greatest crime? Not allowing children ample unstructured time in which to just go outside and play:

Remember how there used to be this thing called "going out to play"? For younger readers, I'll explain this archaic concept. It worked like this: The child or children in the house -- as long as they were over age 4 or so -- went to the door, opened it, and ... went outside. They braved the neighborhood pedophile just waiting to pounce, the rusty nails just waiting to be stepped on, the trees just waiting to be fallen out of, and they "played."

"Play," incidentally, is a mysterious activity children engage in when not compelled to spend every hour under adult supervision, taking soccer or piano lessons or practicing vocabulary words with computerized flashcards.
All in all, "going out to play" worked out well for kids. As the American Academy of Pediatrics' Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg testified to Congress in 2006, "Play allows children to create and explore a world they can master, conquering their fears while practicing adult roles. ... Play helps children develop new competencies ... and the resiliency they will need to face future challenges." But here's the catch: Those benefits aren't realized when some helpful adult is hovering over kids the whole time.

While we agree with much of the substance of Brooks's column (who's going to argue that free time to play and explore is a bad thing), we still find ourselves sympathizing with well-meaning parents (as opposed to the "overbearing" parents she mentions, whom we suspect may largely be constructed of straw) who want to expose their children to a variety of interesting activities. (As with everything else in life and parenting, moderation is key, and every parent of our acquaintance seems to agree with this idea.)

We're especially sympathetic to our fellow parents who live in major urban centers -- not to mention certain inner city areas -- and who may not feel inclined to send their six-year-old by him- or herself down eleven storeys for unstructured play time on city streets. And then there's the issue of families in which both parents work outside the house and, between dinner, homework, chores, and hopefully some family time, too, may have a hard time giving their kids a couple of hours of time outdoors every single day.

But we could nitpick these points all day long, and to be honest, we're more interested in solutions than nitpicking. For those of you who agree that free play time is invaluable, how do you work around the challenges to make sure your kids get it?

Read the full column here:
Remember 'Go Outside and Play'?

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Comments (8)

"And then there's the issue of families in which both parents work outside the house and, between dinner, homework, chores, and hopefully some family time, too, may have a hard time giving their kids a couple of hours of time outdoors every single day."

I think that this was the point of the article - With all these things, there seems to not be much time for a child to just explore her own world. A child was sent into a neighborhood or street while their parents worked, did chores, etc. Now rather than just that unobstructed freedom - the simple pleasure of doing nothing but having fun - all the hours in a child's day must be accounted for. From play dates to activities, even the type of fun must be determined before hand, rather than just letting spontenaity rule.

posted by chusmabilly on August 29th 2008 at 12:47pm
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Just a few weeks ago I was talking to my Grandma, who is 80 years old and raised 6 kids. She told me a story about how my aunt Jill used to go down the street to the neighbor's house to play in the backyard (the neighbors had no idea she was over there) and her brother Jack would go find her every night before dinner and bring her home. At the time Jill was 2 and Jack was 4. Was this how it was back then?? I have a two year old son and I don't even leave him out in our fenced-in backyard for two minutes by himself. When the phone rings, I bring him in with me. I guess I'm a paranoid mom. I remember being a kid when the whole "baby Jessica" thing happened... do you remember that? Jessica was a toddler playing in her yard and her caregiver went inside to answer the phone. When she came out, Jessica was nowhere to be found. It turns out she had fallen down a large drain pipe that was just barely sticking out of the ground (no one knew it was there). It took rescue workers days to free her, and I remember being glued to the tv the whole time, and I cried when she came out alive. Seriously, how can I NOT be paranoid after seeing that??

posted by sarahez on August 29th 2008 at 2:33pm
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I've actually been thinking a lot about this issue.
I don't have kids, but am planning on changing that within the next couple years but I live in New York City.

my neighborhood is friendly and mostly full of families, but I live in the 5th floor walkup (that I will never leave due to rent stabilization laws) and my street is frequented by 55mph-learned-to-drive-in-a-third-world-country NYC cabbies.

there is NO WAY I would send a kid out on that street to play.
A lot of the children living in my building play in the stairwells and on the rooftop, but the stairways are often filthy and the rooftop usually has at least some broken glass on it.

I do think there is a value to raising children in this city (but perhaps not sending them to public school here), but this issue has me stumped.

posted by Shilo on August 30th 2008 at 2:11pm
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I am a mother of three in a busy suburban area and I can sympathize with those who are reluctant to let their kids out, but also know that kids need the independence of open play. I have lived in the same neighborhood for 30 years and have seen the area change from being a peaceful area where everyone knew each other to a place where your neighbors change regularly due to the housing market. Also, freeway traffic has encroached on our area, bringing strangers and/or speeding cars. What to do?

For my comfort and the kids, I would initially go with them around the neighborhood so they would know the landmarks; mentally, I already set limits as to where they could go and I explained my expectations. As they showed signs of reponsibility, I rewarded them with limited playtime outside without my supervision (I would try to time it when traffic would be slow and other kids outside, to maximize the safety and benefit). At first, they could only play in front of the house and I put up an orange safety cone for potentially speeding cars. Next, they could play on the whole street, but not alone. As they got older and had cell phones, they could go to the park, and then around the neighborhood, and finally to local stores and the movies (by bus).

It is important to time this with the independence they will need and want as they go to Jr. High and High School. I freely admit that every step of this has given me anxiety, and my husband has reassured me it will be fine. I am also very proud of the kids in my family who work hard to follow rules so I can trust them with their independence. Parents need to do this for their children, otherwise how will they ever handle life as adults?

posted by jgphotomom on August 30th 2008 at 8:51pm
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We lived on a cul-de-sac growing up and we were always outside playing. If we went outside of viewing area of our house we just ran inside, told Mom where we'd be (most of the time in someone's backyard) and ran out again to play. I did this from before kindergarten to when we moved. I thought that's what everyone did. We thought we were "big" kids who were independent. We just had to be home by the time the street lights came on. Little did I know that all the moms in the entire subdivision had each other on speed dial so they could let each other know where their kids were.

I plan on doing that when my little one gets old enough to play outside by himself. I made sure that we stay in a very family oriented neighborhood.

posted by thoroughlymodernmama on August 31st 2008 at 8:59am
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I grew up in Manhattan. When we were real little, we went to the park accompanied by a grownup of some kind, and they sat on a bench while we ran off and played. Back in the day, it was mostly moms, some dads (my friend's dad was an actor and he watched us a lot), and some babysitters. I think I was 9 or 10 before I was allowed to go rollerskating in the park (with a friend) without a grownup around. Now, it's mostly nannies at that park, and etan peytz and similar stories have rendered everyone more watchful.

In all, I think my experience was pretty good in terms of free play. It required a grownup to sit on a park bench for a few hours a day, but somehow, they managed. I didn't feel overly watched, and I still remember the different spots we could run off to. (up the hill-- beware of rats; basketball court-- don't get in the way of the bid kids; behind the playground-- dog poop; down to the boat basin-- look out for weirdos).

I grew up feeling the city was a place I could navigate, with care. I always felt a lot more capable than my suburban cousins who were afraid to cross broadway when they visited. The whole love of suburbs-- the silent streets-- the command to 'go out and play in the (boring) yard' (which was just like everyone else's yard)-- was lost on me then, and still is, now.

posted by 212gretchen on September 1st 2008 at 6:01am
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I happen to have a 2 year old who WANTS me to play with him all the time. What do you do with that? I do make it a point to bring him out and set him free in the playground, and he still will say "mommy come" as he's a pretty cautious little guy. I do try to start things for him to do: creating simple cars out of playdoh so he can get his imagination going... and then I leave him alone to play for minutes at a time. But I do agree that living in the city makes it harder to 'run out and play'. AND I fully agree that over-structuring a kid's day can be stressful. I say this from personal experience: my mother kept us occupied so as to keep us 'off the streets' in the run- down neighborhood where we grew up... however I never had 'alone time' and feel certain that this is a reason why I am never too certain WHAT I want to do with my time. It was always structured for me, and I have no patience to just be by myself. This is something I hope NOT to do to my son.

posted by pdesign on September 1st 2008 at 8:32am
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another thought... all you have to do is lose your kid for a few minutes in a big department store and you'll have a different perspective on 'letting them run off.' That stressful lump in your throat mind-racing feeling that comes with "oh my god, someone could have taken my child". I don't think that feeling has changed in motherhood throughout time. There is a certain ideal time/age to let kids just 'run off' ... and a time to have a parent watch - from a distance - until they are a less vulnerable age. I have to question Sarahez's grandma's memory on how old Aunt Jill really was to walk down the street alone... I don't think I've ever known a 2 year old to know their way around like that. And focused enough to get somewhere??? I doubt this.

posted by pdesign on September 1st 2008 at 8:42am
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