apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Where are those children's beds from? How great. Definitely recommend reading the whole article, she is inspiring!

To me her home looks bleak and cold. As does her parenting style. She only sees her kids one hour a day and has a nanny on the weekends. If her two year old twins don't put away their toys they get them taken away from them. Fun mommy!

I totally agree with Megan above. I couldn't believe she says she gets a nanny on weekends. So when does she see her kids? Her home is calm and neat because no one lives in there. I think to call play items "materials" is pretenious, and sometimes kids are suppose play with stuff that is "at best pointless"; that's the whole point of being a kid. I let my 4 year old play with photography stuff, paint on real canvases and help me cook etc, I don't see how this is revoluntionary parenting. And I'm a Ph.D. scientist and I love books but I'm not going read my daughter Darwin and claim she loves it. Instead I ask her to tell me stories, to foster her imagination, not drone on about something she can't understand.

I am totally jealous of the amazingly organized art supplies. And the beds.

Those beds are super cute!

I was absolutely loving this, until I read the comments about how little time she spends with her kids and that they have their toys taken away if they don't put them away. That being said, the rooms are beautiful, I don't find them bleak and cold at all, in fact I find them to be the perfect uninterupting background for creative and free play...

http://www.notyourgoddess.blogspot.com/

I am amazed by how many nyc parents claim to celebrate children's imaginations and encourage their explorations and yet have rigid philosophies-- I'm all for wooden toys etc but if my kid wants a tacky plastic barbie why would I so no again? My adult anti-Barbie theory is totally different from my daughter's love of the object. I think it is interesting to watch myself as a parent be challenged when my 2 year old falls in love with objects that I think are simply consumer blah-blah. And never mind this parent's audacity to say she loves playing with her children and their toys while simultaneously acknowledging she spends 5 hours total Monday-Friday with them. There is a disconnect here...

Wow, I don't even know where to start with this one. The level of organization in her home is pretty incredible, but it kind of makes me wonder where her son's "I'll only wear yellow" behavior started! I hate to criticize other parents' styles, but I have to say I'm with Megan and stefsie on this one. To only spend an hour with your children each night, and hire a nanny on the weekends? And to say that "school is very intense and group focused" - her son is five years old, for goodness sake, it's called learning to interact with others, develop social skills, and prepare for the real world! IMHO, he's going to find himself, 30 years old, wondering where his childhood was.

sad. bleak. agree with megan.

Did she mention her husband? I'm curious if the nanny is supposed to the supplemental help that she doesn't have? And if I turn out anything to be like my mom, I'll probably have unreasonable, neurotic, stubborn beliefs about raising children that people find disagreeable, doesn't ever mother have a thing? *shrug*

liked the top photo a lot... too much fancy labeled mod furniture for my taste. gorgeous wall paper too. .... this was in domino awhile ago I think?

I love her place!
Can someone please please please tell me where that wall pocket thing is from!

It's the Uten.Silo by Vitra.

In a previous thread, I had asked about those toddler beds:

http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/news/hot-posts-dick-jane-bento-lunches-and-abc-nursery-058424#comments

They're made by Nume and can be found here:

http://www.gnr8.biz/product_info.php?products_id=426

Okay, well, I am jealous of how the arts supplies are set up -- the art supply storage, the table, and also how some of the final products are displayed.

And I have told my 5 year old daughter that she must put away her toys when she is not playing with them, and must tidy before bed, and I make it clear to her that she can only have as many toys as she can take care of. I don't see that as abusive. But I'd never use that strategy on my 2 year old because he is not capable of understanding. Instead, I start tidying, and he usually helps, and I encourage his efforts.

But on base, I have to agree with the other posters... there was an odd, disturbing quality in the interview...

Seeing her children for only an hour a day? Sending a 5 year old to bed at 7? (not even my 2 year old would do that!). Reading Darwin to a 5 year old?! Only warming to playdates at age 5??!

Talk about rigid parenting...

OMG $1399 for a plywood box!!!

http://www.notyourgoddess.blogspot.com/

I have to object to the nature of these comments, some of which reveal more than a bit of class resentment and are also judgmental. Take a few moments to read something about Lisa Mahar in publications less laughable than the NYSD and you'll understand that the organization in her children's rooms is based on Montessori principles, not rigid parenting. She has built an incredible business, spends a great deal of time with her children and family. It's so sad when people write nasty, off-the-cuff things about people they know nothing about.

Signed, an appreciative NYC parent who is, like Lisa Mahar, a devotee of Montessori's approach to early childhood education.

I have to agree with Brooklyn Hound here. I think the questions in the article were skewed and spinned, if not just plain weird, lending to the odd and disturbing quality of the article.

I only have the interview to go on. My opinion is not "off-the-cuff" it's based on all the information that is provided. She plainly stated that she gets home at 6 and her kids go to bed at 7, equaling one hour. And, in my opinion, her home is decorated with sad bleak undertones. And just because her children's rooms are "based on Montessori principles" doesn't make them any better.

thanks for the link!!

Wow. I find this woman a bit harsh and insane. Maybe it's the way the questions were phrased, but I'm thinking not. To some extent, I feel sorry for her kids. Imagine never experiencing Dr. Seuss because you are only allowed Darwin.

"'Damaged Child' by Sally Mann hangs in the front hall." Enough said.

I agree, there's a palpable disconnection here -- but let's have a little empathy for mothers doing it on their own, and let's not reignite the so-called mommy wars, puh-leeze. Look, the article did not set out to depict a normal, happy home with young children, which by definition could never, ever make feature story on a design blog. So why judge it by that yardstick? It's NYC, not St. Paul.

Some parts of me adore the organization, the determination, heck I'll say it, the money that it takes to have a home that looks like this with three young children, including two that are the same age.

The other parts do find the Lisa Mahar interview odd, cold, distant, condescending...on both sides.

The art organization is amazing and maybe something I could actually recreate.

I think the reason people feel inclined to comment on her parenting style is the response to, "You're every parents nightmare!", which was: "No, I can help them!" I read the interview with a growing sense of skepticism about how healthy this is for the children to bristling at the thought that this is - to her- an ideal way to raise children. If anything brought out a 'Mommy Wars'-type comment, it was this.

I guess I'm glad that she is able to enjoy every minute playing with her children, because it does seem that those minutes are few and far between. From a design perspective - it looks very sterile and cold. You can create a Montessori-inspired environment and not have it come out bleak. I think it is a reflection of the parenting style - controlled, tight.

Does anyone know where the twins' beds came from? I love them!

My daughter (4) goes to a montessori preschool, so I'm familar with the concepts. It's about respect for one self and others, while encouraging a love of learning and exploration. It does not mean sterile and controlling.

I have never commented on anything like this before, but for some reason this one really got to me. I just couldn't believe when the interviewer was like "Wow you must spend a lot of time with your children" suggesting she was some great mom, then she says that she only spends a hour a day and gets a nanny on weekends! I was like what!?

It could be a NYC mentallity. I live in DC and I thought things here were pretty similar. As a working professional I try my best, and often fail miserably, but I don't claim to be an expert.

Whoa!

"...some of these comments ...reveal more than a bit of class resentment" ?!!

We are Montessori parents too, and big believers in the Montessori approach, trying to continue it at home as much as possible. I recognized the Montessori philosophy in her home, and appreciated it. But our take on Montessori is much more relaxed.

She seems to be unyielding in her application of Montessori and design principles -- the home seems to be all about what *her* vision of what childhood should be, the kids don't seem to get much of a vote in the matter (except when deciding to wear only a particular shade of yellow to the exclusion of all else). The article itself uses the term "uncompromising" to describe her. There is no room for whimsy or silliness in her home, and as she says "I don’t think kids need kids’ books or kids’ music.".

How can you say that is not rigid?!

I can't imagine *not* having books such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar or Olivia or Dr. Seuss (...!); can't imagine *not* having my children listen to Elizabeth Mitchell and others.

And although I love the work of Sally Mann, the image of "Damaged Child" is deeply disturbing, especially in a home with young children, a home fashioned on an uncompromising approach to reality.

The interview is a hoot and a half. She's so wrong, in so many ways, but is very proud of it.

Case in point:
"His had more of a rigid way that children and parents were to work with them, whereas in 1914, Caroline Pratt, who actually started the City & Country School right here on the corner, invented the first real building block."

Which isn't true. Anchor Blocks were made in Germany in the 1800s, and Milton Bradley made blocks in the 1860s.
The Davis Brothers catalogue of 1870 lists architectural blocks.

http://www.fleatique.com/articles.asp?atype=1&new=true

And as for Montessori--read Maria Montessori, and you'll learn that she didn't intend for those principles that were used for the classroom to be used at home.

I love how organized that house is kept. It's so good you can't see the whip in any of the pics.

their home seems to be an idea of what a home could be like, in theory... but doesn't really seem like one in the article or photos in practice... not very warm and nurturing... but maybe that's just not her style ?

and she kinda scares me...
way too controlling for my taste...

and her child kinda scares me...

"...every single thing he wore and then it went over to his food and other people, not me, but other people, began getting slightly disturbed about it."

really? when other people are feeling disturbed by your child's behavior, is that not considered a red flag? not even a small one?

...or, maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree...?

Wow- we are a judgmental bunch. I like her house and think she loves her children..all of us are not lucky enough to spend lots of time with them every day...does that make us bad parents too ?
Love Emmet's shell collection and his water towers and little chairs in his room....too cute.
And the medal bookshelf....I have one too.

EileenB: I just noticed the water towers, too! Aren't they the awesomest?

I'm with Mschatelaine. I personally have no issue with a parent who works full time and hires outside help, even on days off (assuming Lisa Mahar has weekends off, which may not be the case as she runs a shop). But she does seem to have rather a firm grip on her children's choices. A 2 year old is much too young to understand the concept of a toy being removed for a week as a result of not being picked up. And the "materials", while aesthetically pleasing, are limited to the extent that I wonder if the children are ever allowed to choose their own playthings. I can't make judgments about a toy simply because it's made of plastic, or related to a tv show. Kids can be just as creative with a Batman action figure as they can with some wooden blocks.


The "Damaged Child" at the front door is quite disturbing.

She can fully control her preschoolers' lives...but I think she'll be surprised as they get older!

A parent must parent according to their convictions, not the convictions of others.

It is far easier to go with the flow and mindlessly follow convention than it is to think outside the box. Why can't we all just agree to disagree? Isn't this site about design with children? Parenting methods are very personal choices and not one of us is the perfect example!

As for her design choices, they reflect a desire for order, creativity and hard work (kind of a modern day Shaker style sans God). She has done a great job of creating a home inspired by her principles, whether I agree with them or not.

I think Lisa has created a beautifully ordered, creatively inspiring home that reflects her desire for structure and productivity. It is also peaceful, something every city home could use!

I would have loved an organized home like this as a child...there were 5 of us and despite my mom taking toys away for a week if we didn't pick them up, our home was a mess most of the time.

Toys are not essential, although our consumer obsessed society would have us think so, but materials are! A child can make a toy out of anything if given the opportunity. My interest in interior design started with a bookshelf that I turned into a doll house...each room designed to reflect what I considered beautiful and organized. I made most of the furnishings and decorations from scraps of fabric, cardboard, Lincoln Logs, Monopoly game pieces and magazine clippings...no one taught me how to do this. It was in me (nature is more powerful than nurture)

Children need structure when they are little and freedom as they grow. I am glad my parents raised me according to their personal convictions not according to social conventions.
I could also argue that children are over socialized, over fed and over stimulated in our culture and perhaps it is a good thing to reevaluate the "norm".

Most important of all is loving and nurturing our children with the time, tools and knowledge that we have...it would appear that Lisa is doing that for her kids as reflected in the design of her home.

Wow, this woman is something else! So much ego, vanity and no idea!

Clearly she can't manage and is daunted by children, she is insecure given her focus on control. She is NOT the answer to anyone's dream. I hope at some stage she has a light bulb moment and starts to put the same effort parenting ie loving with tenderness, as she does in putting on a show for the world and making her house look so "casual and nonchalant"(did you see that picture of the damaged child!).
It would appear that she can afford to make choices and she CHOOSES not to be with her kids....

I don't think this mum is very honest really? That yellow story, a two year old giving that rationale without prompting?
Darwin? My husband makes up stories for the kids with them as the stars, my eldest LOVED encyclopedia type books, but he certainly didn't "get" Darwin!

I wonder if these kids get christmas?
I hope none of them want to be bus drivers or mechanics!

PS those beds look like paupers coffins! Not very snuggly for little snuggly people....

My husband made a similar toddler bed for my daughter when she was about 1.5 yo and I agree, it wasn't exactly the coziest bed. She kept knocking her head against the wooden walls of the bed, getting painful injuries when she straddled the sides (ouch)...interesting concept but in reality? Not so hot.

Parenting styles aside, i do like the way she's integrated the children's "toys" with the rest of the furniture. I like to have my kids play throughout the house (actually THEY like to play wherever I am), where as my husband would rather keep all their toys in their bedrooms.

Wow. I didn't expect people to be so judgemental.
1) She works nine to six. How does that work out to one hour a day? They go to bed at 7, they could be up at 5 in the morning.
2) The yellow clothes? Good for her for not obsessing over every decision her son makes. People get "disturbed" by a lot of stuff that isn't their business. My kid ran around in his cow costume and a viking hat for 2 months when he learned to dress himself.
3) I saw plenty of plastic toys in that tub of toys. So what if she doesn't like whizzing and whirley junk that falls apart.
4) If she can make Darwin interesting for a five year old, then she is a better reader than me.

Check your glass house before throwing stones!

She's done a fabulous job decorating the house. I love the colours - look at the bedroom! And there are lots of great design ideas one can take and work within one's budget.


The criticism about the yellow clothes and the child's rationale not being believable? Oh please.... my kids and kids I've been around have interesting ideas and don't need to be prompted to voice them.

I don't think she's rigid. I remember reading an interview in Cookie Magazine last year (?) where she talked about adapting her ideas to reality when she had twins.

Parenting is challenging...why attack another parent for her opinions when you don't share her philosophy?

If it was their Dad who was spending a couple of hours in the morning and an hour at night with the kids, plus time on the weekends, you'd all be singing his praises - being critical of their mother for doing the same is nothing but sexism, pure and simple.


I think her house looks fantastic, although that's a matter of personal taste, clearly.

These posts are really bitter, judgmental and ill-informed. You may disagree with her approach, but there seems to be a real lack of understanding among these posts about how certain educational philosophies are translated into spaces.

Montessori believed foremost in the environment as a teacher. She believed in simplicity, surrounding children with high quality materials, believing that they were capable of doing and understanding more than what most adults thought they could do, and engaging them through real experiences based in reality--everything that Mahar is doing here in her home.

And why wouldn’t Darwin be exciting to a young boy?! Darwin was quite the adventurer traveling around the world on a ship for 5 years exploring wild and exciting places and then coming up with a theory that changed the world! Do you really think Barbie, or Dora the Explorer, or some other lame mass market produced licensed character would be a better, more age appropriate choice?

And having some help on the weekend--seriously, I think she has three kids under 5 and she runs her own business! I can barely manage one kid! Grownups need a break too sometimes...

Last point-- a lot of people seem disturbed about Sally Mann’s photo “Damaged child.” Clearly no one here has a clue about the piece. It’s a photograph of the artist’s daughter after she'd been stung by a bee! Get a grip, y’all!