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Sounds good to me! I'm 26 weeks pregnant with my first child. I don't understand why anyone should feel guilty after a birth where the mother and child are healthy. There's nothing morally superior in having a "natural" birth--BTW, I hate that term, because what's the opposite? An unnatural birth? An artificial birth? No matter the procedure, all birth is natural. Every woman is different, every birth is different. What may work for you may not work for others, so don't compare yourself to anyone else.

I completely agree! I just gave birth three weeks ago and, though I was not familiar with this method, I believed all three of those things. I gave myself permission to do whatever we had to do to have a healthy baby and my husband was a great partner (no doula needed.) I did not have an epi but did have Fentanyl (sp?) in the beginning to help with the pain, so for me it was nice to have leeway to have some pain medication without guilt and didn't need more than that in the end. I was grateful we were both healthy, that is truly all that matters in the end.

I highly recommend this book! It respects all choices, including natural birth, but emphasizes trusting the hospital staff (the author is a labor/delivery nurse).

I think the book is especially good for those who have very active/involved partners. Everything hinges on the idea that your partner will be your coach. For my husband and me, this book seemed the best option (I'm also at 26 weeks). BTW, the co-author wrote a book my husband swears by: The Expectant Father.

I SO agree with you both. The "natural childbirth" commentary can be so hurtful, especially to mothers who need a c-section. I gave birth with the help of an epidural so felt minimal pain although had a fair amount of discomfort before the epi and then again in the last 30 mins before my daughter arrived. However, just like breastfeeding/formula and stay-at-home/working outside the home, I think all of us try to make the best decisions for the health of ourselves, our children and our families!

We actually took Sarah's birth prep classes prior to the birth of our daughter and were glad we did.

Although we did also use a doula (and were so happy we did) Sarah's methods and principles were so very helpful to us throughout a very long labor.

i would reccomend "the birth partner" for ALL people assisting in a birth or giving one. it covers everything.

Also, "the business of being born" is a must see for anyone researching labor and options

The key is being educated and knowing your & your babies options for birth. It's sad to see negativity or superiority on either side of the fence. unfortunatly i think that's what keeps many women from sharing thier birth storys if they WERE able to have a natural, basically pain less birth.

I know i've experienced the opposite where because i didn't push for umpteen hours, have excrutiating pain, get an epi, get induced and end in a c-section no ones wants to hear about it or celebrate the experience with you. It's almost like you had less of a birth experience. it's funny that way.

it's like if it wasn't traumatic, no one wants to hear about it, which unfortunatly i think scares many women into assuming you need the works to end with a healthy mom and baby, since the trauma is what is shared most.

i haven't read this book yet but what i've previewed on her website was disappointing a little. I think her message of birthing equality is good it just seemed another one sided approach... i'll have to give the book a full read...

Thanks for starting a good discussion.

Ricki Lake's documentary "The Business of Being Born" is worth watching. Someone recommended it in an earlier comment, but for some reason that comment is no longer posted.

Oops. Maybe that was just my computer. Comment is back up now.

whoa. haven't read the book, but i already disagree with your partner being the best doula there is. there are few men that know anything about childbirth...much less will read anymore than the "for him" sections of the childbirth books. i'm SO glad i had my doula, because my husband was paralyzed with fear during my NATURAL BIRTH.
and, yes, there is something unnatural about c-sections and drugs. if that's your choice, fine, but don't pretend that's the way nature or god intended. that it's the way it's been done since the beginning of time with all creatures.

i would just like to mention that all expectant mothers and fathers should read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. i admit it is biased towards natural childbirth (sorry folks, but i don't know what else to call it), but it will seriously help to alleviate a lot of fears that many women may have about birth. my husband, my mother and i all read it and we each thought it was fantastic. my husband even recommends it to all expectant fathers (this was the only book he willingly read front to back). he was also a fantastic coach.

women should not have to feel guilt if they need an epidural or c-section. but it's important to understand the repercussions of any having major drugs or major surgery, because YES, a cesearean is MAJOR MAJOR surgery!

grb - we should get together and share our awesome birth stories. it's a matter of women knowing that there are two sides to the coin. i had a FANTASTIC labor experience and could talk about it for eons. i plan on writing my own birth story similar to what ina may had mothers do in her book, as well as having my mother and husband do the same thing. i think it will be a great thing for my daughter to read years from now.

wait a minute- the title " the best birth: your guide to the safest, healthiest and most satisfying... " sounds a little superlative to me.... hmmmm... :)

bbt: that's a great idea! i'll be sure to have my husband, mom in law and myself all write out a version before it fades too much. what a great gift to your little one!

I agree that knowing your options as well as the reprocussions (possitive or nagative) of each is a must. "birth partner" was great for that.

ina's book is on my short list to read next time around- it get's rave reviews. She is in the B of BB dvd as well.

thank's for the support. We had a non- medicated (in any way), pain free (not saying it wasn't uncomfortable, but...) non frightening first-time birth and i LOVEd the experience. It would be great if more women who had experiences like we did were encouraged to speak out about it- as soon as i say i loved the birth experience i usually get a "you're crazy!" cut off followed by a horror story. it's too bad.

oh well, to each thier own... i guess...

grb - i totally agree. i get so giddy when people ask me about my experience. and so excited. just thinking about it makes me want to stand on my desk and yell "I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

i'm just proud of myself...just as all mothers should be, no matter what type of experience she had.

I also disagree about the doula part. We had one for my first and didn't for my second. The only reason my hubby felt comfortable without was becase he had been through it with one the first time. I think the doula was more for him than for me! There's something to be said about hearing a calm voice who's been there before and who knows you as a couple...she was so reassuring and evenkeeled. It really made such a difference. I always say that if I didn't have to go through the 9 months of pregnancy, I'd deliver a bunch more babies!

I take offense at some of the things the book states. • Any birth after which the mother and child are healthy is a success

Really? What is your definition of healthy? Would you call a birth a "success" when the mother has had her wishes denied, has had unneccesary procedures performed on her (aka episiotomy), the baby has had to process drugs in its tiny system (aka epidural) oh, but they are healthy now! What about calling birth a success when the mother feels power, control, love, affection, and proud of her birth? Why not call birth a success ONLY when the best interest of the birthing woman and her child is top priority? (Well, gee, this book was written by a nurse in a hospital, so why should she view birth in any way other than what she has seen? )

• You already have the only doula you need—your partner
Let's ask the husbands this question and see if they agree.

• The medical staff wants the same thing you do—healthy mom, healthy baby
Oh sure. Are women actually believing this? The medical staff wants a quick birth. If that means an episiotomy, pitocin, epidular and even a c-section, so be it. They dont want issues, and they dont want questions. It's a fantasy world to believe you are the most important person to the nurses and doctors. I'm not saying hospitals and medical staff are evil, but I find these comments way too simplistic and exaggerated.

I'd like to avoid repeating the natural childbirth wars here, but it bears mentioning that there have been clinical trials on the effectiveness of doulas. Doulas reduce the chance of c-section, as shown by several clinical trials.

A woman who has a c-section, in my opinion, is less healthy than a woman who does has a vaginal birth. She has an incision through her abdomen and uterus and has experienced blood loss and ongoing wound healing. So I think it is medically arguable that having only your partner rather than also having a doula at your birth results in a healthier mom.

Disclosure: I had a natural childbirth without a doula but with a midwife. (As an aside, I think it's true that birth stories tend to focus on the horrible. I had a fantastic birth, even if it was painful, and yes, it was empowering and awesome.)

meta

I agree with the first comment, every woman is different and every birth is different. I think that people just need to keep an open mind and not be so quick to judge.

I didn't get my way with the birthing plan (which included NO plans for drugs or a c-section) but that doesn't mean that my doctor denied my wishes. The hospital staff was actually encouraging me to keep pushing and to hold out as long as possible until they really felt a c-section was necessary.

After 42 hours of labor including several hours of pushing, I was begging for a c-section. After my daughter was born they said that the way she was positioned she never would have come out vaginally. The way I look at it, if that were a hundred years ago, she probably would have died...

So while c-sections might not be natural or what God intended, in some cases they are medically necessary and we should be thankful that we have those options.

Three weeks ago my son was delivered during a planned c-section because he was breech. I take offense to saltyc comment that c-sections are unatural. I read many childbirth books, including Ina May's, and would have loved to have a vaginal birth. We tried all sorts of natural ways to turn our son to a head down position and I had to realize in the end he was in position he needed to be in. The only drugs I had before, during, and recovering from the c-section was a spinal block. And in the end we are both healthy and happy. That is what's important and I think it's important to have a book supporting all kinds of birth. Yes, saltyc, creatures have been giving birth vaginally since the begining of mankind, but without the invention of science - I or my baby could have suffered serious, even fatal consequences.

As a father who was his wife's Douala, I also disagree that the best Douala is a husband/partner. I was only barely prepared for the job because:

a. Two different relatives had just given birth a few months earlier and walked us through the whole process.
b. We read EVERYTHING for 9 months.
c. We attended two birthing classes, one at the hospital and an independent one.
d. Our best friends gave birth two days before us and we were there for it.
e. My sister in law is a Douala and was available to talk to whenever we needed.
f. The staff at Alta Bates was incredible.

If I didn't have all that help and experience behind me...there's no way I would have felt comfortable leaving my wife in just my poor hands and blindly trusted the hospital. Every time there is a shift change you get new nurses and new doctors unless you're actively giving birth. While the hospital is not evil they are always cognizant of avoiding lawsuits at all costs which means they will always recommend the route (drugs & c-sections) that are least likely to have complications. All kinds of things can go wrong during a natural childbirth, including death to both the mother and child. At the end of the day, the hospital will always cover their own behind first. So have an open mind but know your $hi# before you just openly trust you're in good hands and blindly go along with every recommendation you're given.

We had a hair raising delivery as our son's umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck at birth but overall, a mostly natural childbirth. I can only hope everyone else’s is even easier. BTW no knock on Alta Bates, as I said, they were wonderful.

I've had two deliveries, both with no drugs. Hells ya I'm proud of my body. That's not really the same as saying I'm proud of myself, but my body rocked itself and I think people should hear more positive stories. The ones that stick are the horrible ones.
Peoples bodies are made differently and some can't withstand vaginal births. What I think is unfortunate is that the American medical system is so tied up in speed and the golf game that medically unnecessary sections are becoming far to common. That is not in the best interest of the mother or the baby.

I'd be interrested to show up at the hospital with my next delivery (in about 8 months!!) and see if they try to tell me my body can't handle it. BS, my last L&D was well under 2 hours from first contraction to it's a boy!

meg b, what may i ask is natural about c-sections? the scalpels cutting open your abdomen and uterus? the anesthetics? the stitches, iv's, antibiotics?
nothing. and i'm sorry you had to have one and seem to feel so defensive about it. i've been at two breech births. both were delivered vaginally without a hitch. i'm pretty sure that's the "natural" way to do it. if books like this make you feel less guilty about your birth, then at least it's doing something for someone. but i feel to be blindly led along by medical professionals without ever doing research on your own as to the benefits of a drug-free labor where you have the freedom to move around & the knowledge of a midwife and or doula to assist you...it's just unfortunate.

and, yes, there is something unnatural about c-sections and drugs. if that's your choice, fine, but don't pretend that's the way nature or god intended. that it's the way it's been done since the beginning of time with all creatures.
Ancient cultures weren't stupid. I'm willing to bet some of them managed at least some herbal pain relief. Also, I wonder what the odds are of living through childbirth around the beginning of time.

A woman who has a c-section, in my opinion, is less healthy than a woman who does has a vaginal birth.
One of my children (twin 2) came out footling breech (epidural, episiotomy, forceps) and had jaundice, and I ended up with a haemoglobin level of 62 (normal is 120) and unable to walk on my left left for about a week. My friend--actually, it happened to a few friends--was induced, had an epidural and C-section. Which one was healthier after the birth? I can't believe there are educated mothers out there who still think it's A versus B.

Look, I haven't read the book. But the post talks about "liberating women from the guilt and regret of an epidural or c-section". I don't understand how people can draw negative opinions from the idea of encouraging women to look back positively on their birth experience if it resulted in a healthy mum and a healthy baby.

Now if it's something that is specifically in the book or even the author's website, it would be good if someone can quote the relevant text--or indeed just mention they've actually read the book--so we can distinguish between generalisations and specific criticisms about the book. The latter would be so much more interesting to me.

"but i feel to be blindly led along by medical professionals without ever doing research on your own as to the benefits of a drug-free labor where you have the freedom to move around & the knowledge of a midwife and or doula to assist you...it's just unfortunate."

I had a planned c-section for various medical reasons. I certainly would have preferred to have a vaginal birth but it just didn't happen. I made the choice based on the opinions of 2 doctors. I was not "uneducated" as some have said/implied. I had done extensive reading, took childbirth classes (facilitated by a doula) and consulted with medical professionals.

I find it "unfortunate" that you are so incredibly smug and sure that your experience was the only "right" way. Actually, I am sort of sad for you.

Listen saltyc,
The day you tell us that you have and will never take Tylenol, or a cholesterol controlling medicine, or have an emergency appendectomy is the day you can sit on your high horse and screech about what is a "natural" vs. unnatural procedure and claim to live only as God intended. In the meantime, contribute your opinions politely, without trying to degrade those who have made a different choice from yours.

Thanks, Ohdeedoh, for drawing my attention to this book, I'll definitely track it down. I have an at-risk pregnancy for twins, and much to my relief, my OB has ok'd my request for a c-section. To me, the decision is about reproductive choice, and I don't appreciate natural childbirth advocates telling me what choices I should make any more than when it's coming from Republicans.

Babble.com had a great article recently, Insufferable by Kathryn J. Alexander http://www.babble.com/content/articles/features/dispatches/alexander/insufferable/ -- it's about about eliminating birth pain rather than managing it. An excerpt:

This claim by the experts that women become better people, possibly even better mothers, for having successfully given birth without the benefit of medical pain relief, led me to wonder what excruciating physical challenge my husband should triumph over to become a superior father — and would I get to choose?

Even before my own difficult labor, the attempt to reframe the pain of childbirth as "good pain" struck me as a bit of a sham. I found myself wondering why my teachers were talking about good pain rather than good pain relief. What had been overlooked was how to deal with the type of pain I would rather live (and birth) without, and that was: any type of pain. I was skeptical that the distinction between pains would still be important to me when my uterus began contracting.

from the best birth website:
"While Lamaze and Bradley were revolutionary last century, Sarah McMoyler, RN, educator and mother, offers an updated, medically-savvy approach for preparing today's expectant parents for the biggest event of their lives."

sounds pretty superlative and judgmental to me...

from her blog post from the website:
The Painful Truth
June 10th, 2008

"It’s going to hurt…there’s no way around it. The fact is, we are preparing you to walk through the doors of your hospital for the guaranteed painful experience. "

nothing like scaring them into an epi! there are ways to control and dull pain without drugs. i hope she is clear about those options in her book too...

I REALLY hope she covers the fact the most women go thru that "i can't do this" feeling during transition when it's almost over and if they can just hold out thru that you're home free. From talking with others i found this VERY accurate and, gee, no other "modern" books even mentioned it except the bradley book ... hmmmm

i really hope this is stuff written by her marketing team and that it's more that she's preaching flexibility and open-mindedness.

i like the idea of her book- freeing of guilt- but it just sounds like she preaching that you might as well just do it (meds etc) because it's more "modern" etc.

i guess i'll have to read it, but based on the website etc. her attitude may not rub me the right way....

actually, rachel477, i never have taken tylenol, or any other pain killer or a cholestrol controlling medicine...i'm vegan, so that's not a problem. i've never had an appendectomy or any other sort of surgery. i've never even had a cavity. i'm sorry if my natural lifestyle offends you, or you can't believe that it could be possible, but it is. maybe i've been lucky, but i also believe in a natural diet and exercise and i don't smoke or drink, and my and my family's health is a direct result of that.

SaltyC--your good health isn't all directly attributable to your vegan lifestyle. Some of it probably is, but most of it is luck and genes. And not having cavities is due to genetics and probably the fluoride in your water. What you are is smug. We don't know why most appendixes decide to go septic, but if yours does, I bet you're going to go to the hospital and want pain relief and surgery--unless there's some sort of natural vegan surgery that I don't know about--so that your kids grow up with a mother. Or would you prefer to die of shock and sepsis because it goes along with your twisted values? BTW, I also don't smoke or drink, when not pregnant I run 30 miles a week. It's great for my health, I never get colds or passing viruses, but I don't believe that all my good health is attributable to it--I happen to be lucky as well. I also happen to have a chronic disease that's not my fault, it was the luck of the draw, and I manage it with the help of doctors, nurses, and pharmacists.

Yes, women have been delivering babies since the dawn of time, but women and babies have been dying in childbirth since the dawn of time. It was incredibly common, and still is in other parts of the world. My own mother nearly died in childbirth, and the baby, my younger brother, was stillborn. Excuse me for preferring that my mom live due to medical assistance so that I had a mother while I was growing up, instead of losing her at age three. Most of us prefer to ensure that we and our babies live through childbirth by using medical assistance as necessary. As I said in my first post, there's nothing morally superior about having a drug-free, unassisted birth, although many women like you seem to think so. It's not true, though, and all it does is make women feel unnecessarily guilty.

Sounds like a great book - sanctimommious posts like saltyc's are really so silly given the larger picture. It's how you raise you child, not how you give birth that really matters. I had a doula who was great, though even better was my otherwise uptight, squimish husband! I labored at home for 32 hours and was so happy to go to the hospital and get help and pain relief! Any woman who is pregnant will soon know that nature is miraculous, no matter how you give birth.

bottom line is that what is great is that we live in a country (at least i do here in the US) where we have the choice in our birth options- whether we go unmediated or not

:) grb

Each birth experience, each woman, each set of medical circumstances is different. To assume that a woman has not carefully researched her options or come to a decision with her partner and medical caregivers is insulting. Oftentimes, it is the immediate medical circumstances which dictate the course of action. Circumstances which do not warrant judgement.

"I would just like to mention that all expectant mothers and fathers should read Ina May's Guide to Childbirth." Really? You want to tell all expectant parents what they SHOULD read? Insert that book title with any religious tome and I bet that that sentence would really turn you off.

Open minds work both ways. You were not in that woman's body with that specific birth and set of circumstances - you have no idea what your "choice" would be {if the medical urgency even allowed for it.}

grb, it's interesting that you found that blog post biased, because the first thing I tell my friends about labour is that it hurts like hell. Like, the worst pain you can imagine, multiplied by 10. Then I tell them I went through one labour with minimal pain relief and I endured more pain than even I thought I was capable of. I don't think telling women about the pain is necessarily a bad thing. Of course, after I had my twins, I also tell them that the epidural is like 5-star labour, even if I'm not entirely convinced I'd ask for it again given the choice. Personally, I know if I hadn't mentally prepared for the pain the first time, I probably would have given up after, oh, 10 minutes. I don't think it's so bad to tell women about the positive effects of pain relief as long as they're well aware of the negative aspects. Because if there were a miracle analgesic with NO negative side effects, there wouldn't be such an outcry over pain relief.

Also, the bit you considered superlative and judgmental, while I agree that it sounds like sales hyperbole, I like the term "medically-savvy". Because, let's face it, most of her readers will be giving birth in a hospital, and even if they go in planning to have the most intervention-free birth possible, things may well go awry, and it helps to have thought of their options beforehand.

I do think many women feel guilty when they have a high intervention labour. When women from my mother's group shared their labour stories, it was very obvious that everyone who ended up with emergency C-sections and epidurals made it a point to justify why they had to go through the procedure. There was much less of that in my twin parenting class reunion where everyone had approached childbirth with very few assumptions about the ideal birth.

I think when we get riled up and absorbed in a "battle" mentality, we forget to consider the facts. The fact is that there are risks associated with any medical procedure--in the case of childbirth there are risks to both the mother and the baby. If one person weighs the risks and finds them acceptable, that is certainly a personal choice. However, when we don't share the risks with women in the name of "not making her feel guilty" then we are failing as a society.

Risks of c-section are many. From increased risk of maternal death to infertility to injury to the baby, it is not wise to ignore them. It is true that the medications used during either a c-section or medicated vaginal birth interrupt the normal hormonal cascade, and these can interrupt the normal flow of oxytocin and prolactin that give women that sense of "baby love." Does that mean that can't be overcome? No, but it's another barrier to climb and with our astronomical rates of PPD in this country, it shouldn't come as a shock to anyone that we're doing something to screw up the normal process.

Speaking of our country, yes, medical birth saves lives. No question. Would I hesitate to have a c-section if it was medically necessary? No way. But for 90% of the women who receive them, it is not saving their lives, but putting them at greater risk. We have the 27th highest maternal mortality rate in the industrialized world in the US. That's shameful.

Other implications of having a medicated birth include breastfeeding problems, and if you want to disempower a woman--just make breastfeeding difficult. I hear stories of "I tried to nurse, but..." months, years, and decades after women were unsuccessful with breastfeeding and those scars are still raw.

Guilt happens when a person falls short of doing what they knew was right. When a woman truly needs an intervention she rarely feels guilty for it. She may feel regret (and may make different choices next time), but not guilt--because she knows she did the best she could (again, interventions save lives). But when a woman is trying to justify a birth experience where she knows she wasn't empowered or supported, then she'll feel guilty. But people who are advocates for empowering, informing, and supporting women should not be blamed for that guilt. No more than the health care industry should feel guilty for recommending that pregnant women don't smoke or than the safety council should feel guilty for recommending car seats for babies and children.

It sounds like this book is justifying the status quo among hospital births. So, to me, the question is...is the status quo working? Not in my experience. There is another way, and virtually everyone who walks down a different path finds themselves pleased with their birth experiences and empowered by them.

well said ginapueblo.

Kat. - i'm sorry you had such a painfull experience. my problem is not with the discussion of pain, because for many women it is empowering to know what MAY be ahead, but the attitude that it is a given that i find problematic. The author touting this as the "medical savvy.. BEST way to have birth" is what i find disheartening. you discussing your trauma with friends rings different than a RN published "expert" telling people how the BEST (more modern) way to do it is -so yes, i do find it too superlative.

ginapueblo - I understand your points and I am not defending the focus or slant of the book, the superlative tag line is not defensible - I don't think it wise to define 'the best way', as each person needs to figure that out for themselves.

However, in response:

Perhaps women that have had C sections or medical interventions are just tired of feeling like they have to defend the birth they had. I know I felt that way. I just wanted to continue on loving my kids and instead at every baby group there was someone that insisted on "educating" me AFTER I had both of my kids. It is interesting that it is always the woman that hasn't experienced a difficult labor, or perhaps even a hospital birth, that feels compelled to do this. It is one - up competition.

There is a plethora of information and sources available for women and their partners to educate themselves about the benefits and negatives of all aspects of childbirth. Please do not assume that women do not already have the information at hand and need to rely on posts on Ohdeedoh {from one commenter: a cesearean is MAJOR MAJOR surgery!} for information.

I think you are overstepping when you are determining what does and doesn't make a woman feel guilty. Really, aren't all of us different? You may consider yourself an "advocate for empowering and informing" but maybe need to rethink the "supporting" - speaking as a woman that knows she had successful births and did the very best for her children and herself, I don't feel supported, just judged.

The USA has pretty much the worst infant and mother mortality rates in the industrialized world. And they are getting worse, not better.
I was planning and out of hospital birth. I had a planned c-section for footling breech presentation. I am grateful that my daughter is here safe. But it was one of the most profoundly alienating experiences of my life. I cannot understand what was remotely natural about what happened to me. I do not feel that I gave birth to my daughter. I just stopped being pregnant. I know other moms who have had c-sections feel differently than I do, but when I try to capitulate to the dogma of "I gave birth by c-section" I just feel like a liar.
I had to do FAR FAR MORE explaining and justifying when I told people I was planning an out of hospital birth than when I said I was having a c-section. Something is wrong there.

grb, I appreciate your point of view and the fact that you're basing it on what you read on the book website, which in some way is related to the book. I'm happy to agree to disagree on the way we interpreted the blog post you quoted. The problem I mainly have is with other commenters who have, in essence, made an assumption on what the book is about based on the very short post above and the title of the book. Basing a very strong opinion on those alone is, in my opinion, just a front for pushing an agenda (whether it be anti or pro intervention, either or neither).

And BTW, the pain was horrible, but it's like my battle scar. I'm proud of it. But I'm equally proud of the twin birth, even if it didn't go quite according to my ideal birth experience.

if you want to disempower a woman--just make breastfeeding difficult
I frankly find this insulting, and I've breastfed all three of my kids. The inability to breastfeed is only disempowering because some mothers have taken it upon themselves to judge that not breastfeeding is somehow an inferior option. In some cases maybe. In others not. As a mother of twins, it's almost impossible to convince me that all the mothers in my twins class who switched to bottlefeeding are somehow disempowered. I can tell you that at least two of them broke down in tears at the hospital because the midwives were "encouraging" them to breastfeed against their better judgment (and this after strongly pro-breastfeeding antenatal classes, I assure you). In my opinion, it's this sort of judgmental attitude that disempowers parents. It's not a choice if, after 8 weeks of antenatal classes where it's drilled in that breast is best and days of frustration trying to get it going, I want to bottlefeed my child and someone insists that I should give the breast another go because it really is best. That's not choice, that's someone foisting their choice on me. (That was an example, by the way. I'd never have let anyone bully me around like that.)

And again, I ask, have you read the book or the website?

I had my baby 5 weeks ago. I had planned on a vaginal (notice I did NOT say "natural") delivery, as had my doctor. At 41 1/2 weeks along and still no dialation, we began an inducement. It didn't work - at all. After 24 hours of that (with no pain meds) so with much debate with ourselves, answers from the doctor... we had a c-section. My beautiful little girl came out a bit overcooked but otherwise healthy. I was also fine and recovered very quickly and used only a minimum of pain meds.

Through all of this, I had a wonderful experience. Let me repeat - it was GREAT. I have my daughter and all is well in the world.

The ONLY thing negative about the entire experience were the comments of two people, friends and family, who made me feel terrible about the section. I became very upset (it was in the days following and I was mid-hormone dump)... How DARE anyone tell me that my birth experience was the wrong one? The only people who have any room to judge the situation are my husband and myself - because we were there. If you weren't there, then you don't know the entire situation and therefore you have no way of knowing enough to judge.

I'm glad that some folks can do the vaginal delivery and I'm sure it is a very positive experience. For those of us who can't or choose not to, why the bloody heck make us feel bad? Being a mother is hard enough without old biddies out there judging us.

By the way, my husband and I both have advanced degrees in science and thouroughly researched everything. And, we also are happily breastfeeding and cloth diapering our baby... so we're not exactly the mainstream bobbleheads that many think that c-section women are...

My quote: if you want to disempower a woman--just make breastfeeding difficult
Kat's quote: I frankly find this insulting, and I've breastfed all three of my kids. The inability to breastfeed is only disempowering because some mothers have taken it upon themselves to judge that not breastfeeding is somehow an inferior option.

Kat, I think you misinterpreted what I meant to say. I meant that it is very disempowering to *want* to breastfeed but to be faced with so many hurdles and obstacles that it is nearly impossible to be successful (as often happens in the hospital). Again, if someone *chooses* not to breastfeed--really chooses--then that's not disempowering because they are in control of that decision. Being disempowered means not having the tools or knowledge or support that you require to follow through with their decisions.

And not to incite a riot, but you say: "...some mothers have taken it upon themselves to judge that not breastfeeding is somehow an inferior option." "Not breastfeeding" is an inferior option. Breastfeeding is the biological norm, and in every way formula is inferior. It just is. Nutritionally, immunilogically, developmentally. It just isn't as good. If someone chooses not be breastfeed she should be aware that she has made a choice with lifelong health implications for both her and her baby. Because she has. Science is pretty clear on that.

And yes, it's harder to breastfeed or vaginally birth twins, but it's not impossible. I've helped many women do so.

ginapueblo, I appreciate you clarifying what you said. The science on breasfeeding is, from my understanding, not all that clear. None of my sibilings or I was breastfed and we're quite healthy. My kids were/are all breastfed--two had allergies, one didn't. One ended up with rickets as a direct result of my breasfeeding exclusively for 6 months. To me, the science behind breastfeeding isn't clear at all. Lifelong health implications? Give me a break. I have yet to read a rigorously reviewed scientific paper that proves this.

Maybe it's different where I live, but breastfeeding is so heavily promoted in hospitals here in Australia that it can be very frustrating when a mother wants to bottlefeed, as happened with a few mothers of twins that I've spoken with. One of my midwives gave lip service to supporting my formula top-ups but was quite happy not to help me. That's not the kind of support I expect from a medical professional after having explained to her what I was choosing to do.

The problem with thinking of bottlefeeding as a simple choice is that it ignores other factors such as the mother's state of mind, her milk supply, her health, available support, etc. Just because breastfeeding is not impossible doesn't mean choosing the bottle is somehow inherently wrong. And saying something like "really chooses" implies that most bottlefeeding mothers have not exercised free choice or have made an inferior choice for some reason. I'm not immune to it all, by the way. I have low bone density and I'm still breastfeeding twin girls with the help of multi-vitamins. How is that a "superior" choice?

As for biological norms, there are many biological norms that we're quite happy to do without, and much medical intervention that we welcome without half as much judgment as some of the procedures done on women giving birth. Biological norms are clearly not always superior, judging by the amount of time and money we devote to battling numerous biologically normal diseases.

Which is all rather off-topic.

So, back to the original post. Has someone actually read the book? I really would like to hear feedback on the content to see if it's worth buying for pregnant friends. A couple of comments upthread suggest that the book does offer some useful advice. I'm also interested to know if the info is only for mothers in the US.