apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I am a minimalist but I've found my changing table and glider indispensable. Things I didn't need--baby bath tub (the sink is easier), diaper pail, and a mobile. I'm sure there are more, I'm just blanking right now. One bit of advice, unless you're planning on having a half dozen kids or more, borrow everything you can from friends. They'll be glad to get it out of their garages for a while.

Ah, the "you don't need this or that" list. I've seen so many of these, usually from people with an ax to grind about something. It's not a total surprise to most of us that one size (or list) doesn't fit all.

More than one stroller isn't necessary--unless your baby is going to a sitter during the day. Trust me, it's a pain in the ass to drop off a baby, a giant baby bag, *and* a stroller every day. For $70 you can get one of those stroller frames to clip the infant seat into. Totally worth it to keep at the sitter's (or Nana's) house. You don't *need* baby detergent--unless your baby has sensitive skin. A lot of newborns have sensitive skin that they will outgrow. And you don't need baby lotion as long as your baby doesn't have dry skin, and you didn't have a winter baby in a cold climate. I run humidifiers, but still, why have an uncomfortable baby with dry skin when you can rub in a little lotion and prevent the entire thing? And it's true, you don't *need* a diaper pail, but having one is a nice thing, a decent one keeps the stink away pretty effectively for a good long time. (I don't think they last forever though, you may want to replace it after a year when the plastic has just absorbed too much stink.) And the kind, like mine, that has a toddler lock is a great thing when you have an inquisitive toddler.

I totally agree, especially with the high chair. I purchased a oversized expensive high chair with our first and by the time the second was eating solids I ended up craigslisting the big high chair and opted for the smaller one from IKEA. So funny how the second time around you realized all the things you don't really need!

These lists are never universal. I can only say what worked or what didn't work for my family. As far as the items mentioned are concerned, we definitely needed more than one stroller. An umbrella stroller is essential for travel or short, quick outings but pretty useless if you are on city sidewalks, muddy festival grounds, jogging or shopping at the farmer's market. Baby lotion has been an absolute must for my son's dry skin, especially in winter (we swear by the California Baby calendula cream).

I never had any of those things either. Im sure I would have loved a rocking chair but since I didnt have one I guess I never missed it.

My most useful thing by far was a ring sling.

definitely no shopping cart cover, no wipes warmer, no bottle warmer, no fancy high chairs (we simply used a booster tray that sat secured to a dining chair. $20, and it's been through 2 babies. It didn't take up any extra space). A dresser is more practical than a changing table--and can be used as one with jut the addition of a pad on top. I think baby lotion is critical, though, especially in a dry climate like mine. An expensive glider isn't necessary, but some sort of rocking chair is ideal, and particularly nice for collicky babies. I'd also say a boppy pillow isn't necessary either. Somebody gave me one, but it didn't make nursing any easier. And finally, a fancy baby bathtub is simply frivolous. For newborns we used a clean sink lined with a towel. Once baby could sit up we just used a sponge "raft" in the tub which both babies loved. $5 and it doesn't take up lots of space either.

I can't imagine not having a change table - Doing it anywhere makes me cringe - I don't want poo and wipes and diapers everywhere! Also, saves on my poor back and knees.

I too found the mobile and full sized highchair useless.

As for the baby detergent, I need that for my cloth diapers!

The baby tub was good for us, our sinks are too shallow for bathing a newborn, and our tubs way too deep.

I got a simple Ikea chair that allows me to 'rock' up and down and my son can use it as he gets older. Those gliders can be PRICY.

What I did find useful and no one told me about:
Cloth wipes - for the face - saves on SO much garbage

White board - who can remember when the last feeding was when your brain is sleep deprived?! I wrote it down on the board so I could figure out when the last feeding was, and roughly when the next was due.

Cloth diapers - We have BumGenius and they are great! Saves us SO much money!

It was also sort of a waste of money for the whole bedding set. The comforter is nice, but by the time he'll use such a heavy blanket, he'll be in a twin bed. Seeing as I wasn't big on crib bumpers, and didn't use the diaper bag, that pretty much makes the whole set useless. If I had known this earlier, I wouldn't have let my MIL buy it! Much better to just buy the sheets, dust ruffle thing (if even wanted) and separate blankets!

Agreed that these lists are definitely not universal. What is indispensible for one family might be completely useless to another.

My only big advice is to be very sparing about what you buy up-front. Request GC's from well-wishers, rather than physical items. Then, buy only things you need, once you know they will fit into your lifestyle. We didn't really buy much before our first arrived, mostly because we had a small budget, but I was surprised by the number of things I WOULD have gotten that I realized only later were of no value to us, and also by the number of things that seemed stupid at one point that suddenly made a great deal of sense when the circumstances changed.

In Alaska, shopping cart covers are useful. Not to protect against germs but to act as a barrier between baby and a metal shopping that has been outside in -40 degree weather.

I think a bedding set is the only universal thing that's unnecessary. You just need crib sheets.

infant shoes. silly.

now if they made grippy knee pads...

The case can be made that many baby items are unnecessary, but a few make life with baby so much more pleasant.

We didn't buy a changing table. We had a metal shelving unit that was table height from The Container Store we no longer used in the kitchen, so I put a changing pad on top of that and stored the diapers, etc on the shelves.

I will say I LOVED our wipe warmer. I thought it was so nice to have warm wipes for baby's bottom. I got rid of it along with the changing table when my daughter started wearing training diapers, and she still cringes when I use a cold wipe. Spoiled!

We also never got a high chair. I fed her in her walker and then moved her to her own table when she turned 2. Of course, she feels terribly deprived, and at 2.5 still tries to get into other toddler's high chairs when we visit her friends.

I agree that no list is universal but there were several things I knew would be useless (entire bedding set, wipes warmer) and some things I thought would be helpful and ended up being useless (plastic bath tub (the foam mat in the sink or tub worked great and still does for my almost 14 month old), the "official" diaper bag (I find the LL Bean tote to be sufficient for big outings and my big purse with baby stuff in it is still my favorite for quick trips). On the other hand there are a few things that I found to be priceless including my rocker/glider. Some of my most precious memories from my son's first year happened in our rocker. They still do. A few things I thought would be a waste ended up being great including our changing table, which really isn't a changing table but a dresser with a mat on top, the Boppy pillow, and this is going to be unpopular with some, but I have to say I love having two strollers. One heavy duty (we do a ton of walking outdoors and sometimes on rougher terrain) and one lightweight for quick trips and indoors. I know it's sort of a lot but we cut out so many other things including using cloth diapers and buying nearly everything second hand that I feel justified in owning two fantastic strollers. Just my opinion.

For me, the ergo, baby bjorn, and slings that were given to me were completely useless. Hundreds of dollars down the drain. My baby didn't like the confinement and head-butted me constantly when I tried to put her in them. I say it's good to meet your baby, and keep it simple until you can try things out. Either borrow them from a friend or test out things such as rockers, slings, and swings in a store before spending. While pregnant, I thought I had to have everything for her first two years prepared for the second she arrived. How silly I feel about that now.

my lists of "must have" and "useless" items were completely different from baby one to baby two. still, i think it's fun to read what other people think are the essentials and what they think you don't need.

i will never understand baby detergent. it's so heavily perfumed. how can that be good? my husband has sensitive skin, so we already use detergent that is safe for babies and doesn't stink.

Adriennella--my daughter hated all slings and most other things along those lines. She was willing to ride in the baby bjorn for a few minutes at a time, so it was useful for certain things like when we were house hunting. Obviously we couldn't bring a stroller into a house, but it was useful to have our hands free to look at things.

And I love my rocker. No, it's not "necessary," but it does make life with a baby so much nicer and easier. And that's the point: if you can afford it, and it makes your life better, then go for it.

the big stroller was used for a few months to walk around the neighborhood. other than that we used umbrella strollers which we left in the cars.

sassy piggy- ty for the sink tip! i hate those little net bath thingys and the baby tub isnt the best for our newborn. currently i use the sink top with a towel..as i did with my first.

bottle warmers, usless, shoping cart cover a must, high chair a must ( our son was huge for his age and i wouldnt want to struggle holding him and feeding).
sippy cups...wish someone would have told me not to bother with any other brand other than playtex. the cheap ones wear out and leak so fast they arent worth it.

I agree a wipes warmer is unnecessary for commercial disposable wipes - as far as I could tell they hardly got warm at all due to all the alcohol on them! I gave away the wipes warmer I got within a few months. Then when I switched to cloth dipes and wipes, I bought a new one - it is great for keeping cloth wipes warm. We still use ours even though our kids our out of diapers - we always have a warm washcloth available for wiping faces and hands! It's especially nice since our water takes ages to warm up.

I also found infant shoes completely useless, but did love Robeez, since they helped keep socks on!

Had a lazy chair that was the only thing I could sleep in the last two months of pregnancy and used for the first 9 months to put daughter to sleep so for us a chair with a rocking motion was a necessity.

Each family if different- I agree on some of these items (other than a jogger, we rarely used a stroller), but not on others. For us, a wipes warmer was a necessity because we used cloth wipes. That said, she is on to something, in that parents are told they need waaaaay more things (and expensive ones) than necessary. Basics are the key, and buying things with a multi-purpose, such as using swaddling blankets for a floor pallet or for burping.

http://thesweetest3.com/

High chair was a must for us with bar stool seating in the kitchen. I'm still thrilled with the Svann one we chose as it turns into a perfectly stable toddler chair. After 2 weeks of hoisting her up and down into a booster...having her be able to get up and down herself (and be up close enough to eat and play at the table) is perfection.

I found the book "Baby Bargains" to be a good guide for what I needed as a minimalist. They agree that dresser is a good changing table, that you don't need crib sets, etc. They even give you a checklist of how many onesies at each size, etc.

Just avoid the lists at the baby stores. They'd have you buy a million things that you never need. As for bouncer, swing, etc. Get it once the baby is born and keep the receipt. If your newborn is not soothed by the swing, take it back.

But, baby lotion!??! A MUST! Unless the lotion you have on hand for yourself is Paraben-free, retin-A free, etc. then you need to carefully select baby moisturizer and soap that is appropriate for young ones. It's been suggested that parabens (common in even the J&J soaps for kids) leads to early puberty, fertility problems, etc, etc. Yes, you can go insane with all the warnings, so pick your battles -mine were parabens and BPA in toys during the everything-in-the-mouth phase (loosened restrictions now that it's passed).

Skip the glider and the matching ottoman and the slings and pillows, but get the $5 bottle of infant soap!

Agree with Holiday. I went out of my way to find paraben-free products for my son.
Agree with doubledutch. We were already using a fragrance free detergent so why switch?
We invested a pretty penny in cloth diapers and my husband (who was fully on-board prebaby) refused to used them one the thing was in action.
We have more strollers than anyone but to be fair, we received several as hand-me-downs. Nice to have a very small Combi for air travel, as we did more of that in our baby's first year than I ever would have expected beforehand (around 12 flights total.)

I didn't think I would use our rocking chair either but did many times. So I also agree with those who are saying circumstances change and it's hard to know ahead of time what you will truly need and use.

Jensational --- you don't need crib sheets if you're co-sleeping.

I am so afraid of buying things I don't really need. We are on a seriously limited budget and I am trying to do most things myself.

I agree on her most of her list though I did enjoy my changing table simply for it's organizational purposes and not worrying about getting a messy bottom on my couch or bed.
Never used a baby bath. All of my kids bathed on my tummy. Also never needed a crib, that was a HUGE expense & I was very glad it was custom & I could resell it for what I paid.

I didn't buy a wipe warmer but I got one from a friend when my son was about 1 month old. I didn't care about it-but I could tell he did. He loved warm wipes!

We needed two strollers- one full sized for festivals, malls, etc.. one stroller sized for shorter trips. I used my full size high chair for many things- the best being my sons art projects. He could paint or color and be contained easily. I couldn't have lived for a few months without a play yard. We traveled with the play yard and he slept in it in hotels (I worked in hotels for years and NEVER trust their cribs) He slept in a bassinette for the first 6 mos. of his life and it was the best money I ever spent. He was in our room, close to me and I never had to worry about him.

I never bought a rocker or glider and never missed it. I never carried a diaper bag either. I put diapers and stuff in plastic Ziplocks and put them in a tote bag. I never had a shopping cart cover either- and I live in Michigan. I got plain white and blue sheets for him- no expensive bedding sets- and a lot of them since they get messy fast.

When he outgrew things I got them right out of the house- gave away just about everything and it's still being used by other families almost 6 yrs later. His bassinette is going to be used by it's 5th baby this May.

As a soon-to-be mother of four, I feel like I can add a little input here...
Baby #1- I had almost no budget. Everything I received was gifted or hand-me-downs from relatives. I didn't have a stroller, snuggly, wipe warmer, bottle warmer, or changing table, and never missed those things. We had a recliner rocker and I used it SO much.

Baby #2- I wanted to buy EVERYTHING because I didn't get to the first time around. That was probably unwise. All the "extras" made life easier, but weren't necessary...except the glider rocker. I was somewhat economical and tried to buy used baby items or cheaper ones, and I ended up going through two Wal-Mart glider rockers in the first year. The changing table, swing, bouncer were all items that did make life easier, but not what I'd call necessary.

Baby #3- I kept all my things from baby #2, and the snuggly was a MUST (never once used it with baby #2). He refused to ride in the infant carrier during trips to the grocery store and department stores. The swing and bouncer were also a life-saver for me. Holding a baby while trying to cook dinner was almost impossible and not exactly safe. I never used the stroller for this child, not once. The glider rocker...another must for the baby who refused to be put down. I "splurged" and bought one from Target and it's been holding up for 3 years, and I still use it to soothe them when they have crises.

Baby #4 was unexpected, and once again I'm starting from scratch. What I bought:
1. bouncer and swing (as I don't expect to be able to hold baby 24 hours a day) bouncer was used and the swing was Wal-Mart's cheapest model
2.dresser that will double as a changing table
3. cheapest high chair from Wal-Mart (I found that buying Wal-Mart's cheapest items is often cheaper than buying the some used baby items)
4. bathtub (my sink is seldom empty of dishes and squeaky clean--with 3 boys, that's life)
5. cloth diapers (ashamed of myself for not doing this sooner. How many diapers have I contributed to the landfills? Ugh. However, we haven't actually used them yet, so I may be pining for disposables soon.)

So I wrote all that to say, you won't know exactly what you'll need until you meet your little guy/girl...

It's absolutely true that what works for one baby and family won't work for others, but here's what I found...

INDISPENSABLE: - a nursing pillow (used for HOURS every day until my babies were at least 6 months)
- a sturdy carrier (I love the Ergo)
- tons of washcloths/rags
- a glider (though it could be any old comfy chair really)
- a baby care kit with nail clippers and thermometer
- plenty of simple cotton sleepers, cotton hats, and cotton/flannel blankets for swaddling

UNNECESSARY: - a crib (we thought we weren't co-sleeping people, but it turns out that it works best for us. Our children have transitioned from our bed to a toddler bed around 2)
- a diaper bag (I so much prefer sticking a couple diapers and a few wipes into a large purse or backpack)
- a change table (used the top of a dresser with a thick pad on top)
- plastic baby tub (used the sink)
- baby monitor (in a relatively small apartment or house)
- a manual breast pump (I needed to pump for a short time and couldn't get more than a few drops out with one of these. We ended up renting a hospital-grade electric one... so worth the money)
- a stroller (the carrier was so much easier. However, I think investing in a sturdy stroller that you like makes a lot of sense for an older baby/toddler. If you think you'll have 2 or more kids close together, consider a convertible one like the Phil & Ted that can be a single or double. Not cheap, but we use it every day)

I have a 4-year-old, a 2-year-old, and am 5 months pregnant with our 3rd child. The majority of the items we bought or were given prior to the first one's birth turned out not to be necessary so I would definitely advise anyone expecting their first to wait until the baby arrives to figure out what your needs are. Accept any offer of hand-me-downs and don't be scared to buy used items at a consignment store or online. You use them for such a short time and can sell them again or give them to friends when you are done.

I would say some kind of cloth diaper detergent is imperative if you don't want leaks on your diapers.

The bouncy chair saved our marriage during the fussy evenings.

I love our glider. The fancy crib bedding, change table (we use a dresser), wipes warmer etc. seem totally unnecessary now.

Two strollers have their uses, depending on your lifestyle/size of car. Baby carriers -- try before you buy; my baby was too big as a newborn to comfortably carry in newborn carriers but too newborn to carry in the big-kid carriers.

I would say a boppy/breastfriend was no help to me, as I used a regular bed-pillow, but some people swear by them.

Other than a few sleepers, cloth diapers, a good carseat and a bassinet, and some good nursing tank tops, I would wait to buy everything until after the baby is born, and send your relatives to pick things up as the need makes itself known.

• More than one stroller - ??? I'm having trouble even parsing this one. We have one stroller, but use the Ergo more often.

• Shopping cart cover - The carts don't seem that dirty or uncomfortable to me..

• Wipes Warmer - We use cloth wipes with homemade spray, so nada on this one.

• Full size High Chair - We have the Fisher Price "Healthy Care" booster and love it. It sits on one our dining room chairs. It is extremely easy to clean.

• Diaper Pail - I ended up getting an OXO steel trash can to hold our cloth diapers. When we're done with diapering I'll reuse it in another room.

• Baby Detergent - Country Save HE powdered detergent is awesome, gentle, eco-friendly and ridiculously cheap. Baby detergent struck is a rip-off.

• Changing Table - We're using an 8-cubby Expedit for this, turned on its side. Ordinary dressers or shelving makes more sense as a changing table in the long run.

• Glider - I sometimes kinda wish I had gotten a swivel glider, but my Poang is pretty comfy. I also tend to nurse all over the house, so a $1000 glider would have only gotten occasional use.

• Baby Lotion - I just use jojoba oil most of the time with some lavender oil mixed in.

Other things I didn't really need the first year: infant car seat (Britax Roundabout was better for us), diaper bag (nursing greatly reduced the amount of junk I needed), bottles/pump, baby care kit/medicine (I only used the nail clippers and hair brush), baby monitor (our son is plenty loud), papasan swing (he didn't like it).

Indispensable for us: BumGenius and cloth wipes, Ergo, Britax convertible seat, receiving blankets, Miracle Blanket, white noise machine, birthing ball (for bouncing to sleep), baby bath tub (Eurobath.. still using it at 1 year old), Dr. Bronner's, jojoba oil, Country Save, clothes from consignment sales, a good hat (Zutano makes long lasting fleece hats).

And I can't recommend the BabyBjorn 1-2-3 Bouncer enough. The neat thing about it is that you can bounce it using your foot, so it's easy to find exactly the right rhythm to quickly sooth baby. It also isn't an eyesore, like most other bouncers. My son loved it the first five or six months.

I would argue the need for a mobile. Not that you need a big fancy mobile, but it does help with baby's brain development and stimulation. There are tons of ways to make your own, from hanging colored origami, to sewing little stuffed birds. But with it being so inexpensive (not to mention cute) it's worth the couple dollars to give baby that little extra stimulation.

YES YES YES!!! I agree with her original list as well as no bottle warmer, infant shoes (really!?) or baby bathtub. So many of these items are unnecessary if you just use your common sense!

My husband did use the changing table a lot because he's over 6 ft tall (plus it was the dresser.) But we got rid of it just before my son was potty trained (around 2.5yrs) --Hooray for that.

I loved my Boppy nursing pillow. That's about it.

And I'm not sure what type of baby lotion you are referring to, but I agree that most of them are overly scented and cause rashes on little ones. Besides, babies SHOULD NOT be bathed too often (once a week at the most!!) This strips them of their natural oils anyway! Just keep their bums clean and the folds of their neck (from dripping milk and spit up) and the rest is clean. They're not rolling around in the dirt for heaven's sake!

I agree with Pencil's point on this one...

For example, I am so tired of all the rants against wipe warmers; we cloth diapered, and it was indispensable. I guarantee that my children had the cleanest bottoms around -- nothing cleans as well as a cloth wipe warmed in home made diaper wipe solution.

As for a diaper pail, you can't cloth diaper without one.

Our changing table (we had one custom built, adapted the David Netto Loft changing table) was absolutely key in keeping us organized, especially for cloth diapering. It's a lovely piece of furniture that can be easily repurposed.

High chair? we have a kinderzeat. Have used it straight for 6 years now, and it still looks great.

We swear by California Baby creams -- still use them long after we finished with diapers.

I don't like gliders, but we have a fantastic rocking chair. I can't count how many hours I have rocked -- and continue to rock -- my children in that chair.

Baby detergent? Well, we used Sportwash for our diapers and all the other baby clothes, does that count?

Once our kids were toddlers, we bought a 7 pound McLaren stroller for travel. A great investment in our travel enjoyment!

As for a diaper bag, we got the one that converts into a booster seat -- a must here in Europe, where restaurants typically don't offer high chairs or booster seats (even in Italy, where kids are normally at the table).

And I used our Froggy for hours a day for a total of 5 years. I am so sad not to need it any more -- it was our best buy.

Everyone is different...

My breast pump and bottles only gathered dust, as my children refused bottles. I never needed a dozen receiving blankets like everyone said I did -- I just used 3 or 4. Never needed the fancy bedding set, just good sheets. Crib toys were a waste of money and the famed aquarium kept our children awake instead of putting them to sleep. Our kids hated the Bjorn, and it hurt my back. My daughter loved her sling, my son hated it.

It sounds like we had a ton of stuff for our kids, but we didn't. When I go to friends' houses now, I notice how ours is comparatively empty of "stuff" -- almost no plastic toys or bouncy chairs, or foam kids' chairs, no plastic picnic tables or stools.

I think if you take the title literally, with 'new baby' as a newborn, there are a lot of these things you don't need. High chair? Just taking up space until they reach 6 months, and you'll trip over it in the meantime. Shopping cart cover? Same thing. Crib, and crib linens of any sort? If you're starting out with a bassinet or co-sleeper, don't bother to get them until you need them.

Also, as others have said, most detergents labelled as for babies are chock full of scents and really unnecessary. If you're using cloth diapers, actively harmful! (Dreft et al.) The unscented stuff you use for yourself should be fine. Also, we've hit 18 months now with no baby lotion used at all. Your baby's skin may simply not need it.

My list?
-A co-parent or other family help
-Working breasts are a big plus, otherwise a cheap source of good formula
-something to carry the baby in besides your arms. A car seat for most of us, and a stroller and/or a carrier that fits your body well. I'd wait to see what your baby likes.
-the internet, and something to read it on in the middle of the night
-the knowledge that they grow, and the bad parts won't last

I blogged the list of things we didn't actually need when having a baby - I find the more kids we have the less baby stuff we seem to need. I reckon the first time round you are literally at the mercy of marketers - you really do want the very best for your baby. But you do get wiser and quickly realize that baby-marketers are selling a whole lot of stuff that doesn't actually enable you to be a better parent - I guess that isn't their goal after all!!!

Here's our list:
http://www.se7en.org.za/2008/10/23/se7en-things-you-absolutely-dont-need-when-having-a-baby

I agree that this list changes according to the person. My wife and I are both pretty tall - so one of those play pen with the attached changing table was just wonderful for us. Everything else left us bending down and annoyed. We shopped specifically for the tallest we could find.

A stroller is usually worthless for us too. We've had one for months and only used it once - when shopping at the mall during Christmas (when admittedly it was awesome). Otherwise we sit the car seat in the shopping cart or just carry it.

We have a tall dining table - the type with tall stools rather than chairs - so the high chair was great.

Otherwise, the list is pretty good.

Of all of the items that we received for gifts, the one that meant the most to us was sleep.

On the subject of breast pumps...if you have never breast fed before, buying the most expensive pump may not be a wise decision. Once you crack the box open (whether you've used it or not) you cannot return it. I think it's best to buy a cheaper model for the first few weeks, and if breast feeding is something you decide to do for the long haul, go buy a high quality one. You don't want to be stuck at work, engorged, with a broken breast pump.

Agreed - what works for every parent/baby combo is going to be different.

What you don't need: to buy things before the baby is born (besides a few sleepers and someplace for the baby to sleep if you don't plan on cosleeping)

BUT when you can't resist buying things (as few pregnant women can) i would advise keeping everything in the package, with the receipt attached, until the very moment you're going to use it for the first time (don't unpackage and wash things when you're in your nesting phase, as you'll be tempted to do) so when you figure out that you don't need half of it, you can return it for things that you actually will use.

Having had a baby during Feb., I wished I had a wiper warmer. I remember my son freezing up every time I wiped him. Funny thing is I didn't even think about it until it was way after the fact and at someone else's baby shower.

I always tell ladies to buy your breast pump (regardless if you are going to breast feed or not) in ADVANCE. I learned the hard way not having one and trying to get some place to deliver while I was in pain and engorged @ home by myself!

We skipped the infant car seat and only got a convertible seat (the one that stays in the car and you turn around to face forward as your child gets older.) Most infant seats only work for the first 12 months if you're lucky and we felt this was a waste.

I carried my daughter in slings or the Bjorn when I was out with her for her first 6 months. We did wake her a few times transferring her from car to house, but I loved holding her. They are small for such a short time!

My little one loves his wipe warmer - he screamed at the hospital when we went to wipe him with the cold wipes, making changing time very unpleasant. After we got him home and plugged the warmer in, he LOVED the warm wipes and in turn absolutely enjoys getting his diaper changed! His changing table is one of his favorite places!

I too agree with the baby detergent and big highchair. We opted for IKEA's Antilop highchair and tray for $25...this will do the job and at such an affordable price.

As far as a glider is concerned, try not to buy new - check craigslist and really any rocking chair would get the job done.

Biggest waste of money for us so far was probably our baby swing - our son just isn't happy in it and he's 3 months old and will be too big for it soon. That's $150 we could have put towards diapers!

I totally disagree that there is no need for a shopping cart cover. All of the shopping carts at one grocery store in my area have damaged or missing straps and although I have spoken to management about it they have done nothing. If I did not have her shopping cart cover she would not be safe and I have seen damaged and missing straps at many other stores.

I am currently pregnant with my fourth child and I honestly don't see the point of this list. The situations described like putting the diaper pail on a balcony do not apply to my situation and would never work for me. I think most people should be smart enough to know what they do and don't need and from all the comments I think everyone develops their own opinions and they can really only be based on experience, not what someone else tells you is acceptable to them or necessary for them.

It's almost silly to debate the individual items, given how different we all are (though it's fun). I really liked the book THE GIGGLE GUIDE TO BABY GEAR to help me generate our shopping list, and I am happy to say that I didn't wind up with much that we are not using...the book looks at gear from a functional point of view and describes types of products rather than specific brands, etc. I'm about to return the manual breast pump (turns out we needed a big pump for feeding problems), have already returned breastfeeding accessories we got for free at the hospital (lanolin, etc.).

One thing I realized in this process is that some choices are dictated by your lifestyle and choices (car vs. walking, co-sleeping or no, etc.) and some are dictated by your child (tolerance for certain diapers, whether or not they like a swing). So if you can hold off on the latter category until after the kid is born, that helps you choose better.

very simple alternative to baby lotion: olive oil. moisturizes beautifully, nothing harmful for baby, and you probably already have it in your kitchen. a great tip from my midwife was to slop lots of olive oil on baby's bum before his very first, sticky, tar-like meconium poo. it just slid right off his skin without scrubbing.
my wipes warmer was my armpit. gave me an appreciation for just how chilly those wipes are.

I too enjoy a minimalist approach to parenting and agree with most of the list, but the glider has been an absolute god-send to our nest. We've spent countless hours in it, nursing and rocking.

I would add baby blankets to the list. They are lovely, but we received so many as gifts and don't know what to do with them. Most are stored in a "keepsakes" box for lack of a better use for them. They're too small as the baby grows to be truly functional...

Ashlea

besquirrely.wordpress.com

Not needed: Changing table, playpen (or whatever they call them these days), wipes warmer (dried out the wipes and turned them yellow), rocking chair (a wooden antique that was painful to sit in), baby shoes and socks, nursing bras (too many metal hooks, uncomfortable, and lumpy under clothing) and nursing shirts (ugly and revealing), cheap pump (too hard to use), baby slings, etc. (never could carry my babies on these-they caused great back pain), baby washcloths, baby towels, baby sacks (the kind without separate legs (impossible to use with a car seat or stroller), formula related containers (for a breast fed baby).

Very helpful: baby bathtub ($15 for the ease of use--totally worth it--can't imagine trying to wash a baby in a steep sided metal sink); rocker-recliner (butt ugly, but such a relief when the baby will only sleep upright on your shoulder), strap-around-the-waist nursing pillow (allowed me to stand up while nursing or hold the baby one handed, saved my back), sports bras (easy to hike up from the bottom) and over-sized t-shirts (easy to hike up and provided good coverage), vests (ugly, but covered up leaks when back at work), a high quality electric breast pump (should have just bought one of these to begin with and saved money on about three different cheaper versions). Elvis Greatest Hits CD for child one (the only thing that would quiet the colicky one--who knew?), baby swing for child 2.

Oh, and two strollers helped a lot--an umbrella stroller for quick trips and a larger stroller for longer treks and when the baby is small and in the carrier most of the time.

I found with both my kids I had way too many snappy newborn outfits. They didn't really wear anything more than sleepers for the first little while and only needed the odd cute outfit when we were out visiting (mainly to help deflect how haggard I looked.)

Lace up shoes were another thing that looked super cute at the shower but didn't really help much as they were dropping off in the parking lot.

Amy
pregnantchicken.com

Live without:
Official diaper bags, especially if they have ducks on them.

Can't live without:
If you're a 2-car family, car seats in both cars! It will keep you from freaking out when Daddy leaves you without one.

Sorry, but this list is ridiculous. I can do without coffee filters if I am willing to use some toilet paper. Yeah, but why not just use a coffee filter? I agree that there are lots of things you don't *need* and not everyone likes/uses the same things. The pitfall in these types of lists is that there is always the underlying implication that others who do have/need/want those items are gluttonous or silly. It's implicitly judgmental. (Hey, like my own response - I guess I'm judgmental too - :-)

hahaha - i think katszeye ends this post perfectly.

my advice? don't take anyone's advice.

By the way, on the breast pump, check with your health insurance - in a million years it never would have occurred to me to even ask, but a colleague of mine did, and it turns out our insurance covers the cost of a breast pump if your doc says you need one. We got a prescription before leaving the hospital and got a very good pump for the cost of a prescription co-pay.

I don't really mind these lists. Before my son was born, I read a lot of them to get a sense of what I might really need. Of course, it does depend on the person. My situation is thus: urban, rarely drive, winter baby, breastfeeding, small apartment. What I had and didn't need: handmade baby blankets - all lovely, but never really used. Any outfit that didn't have feet (it's winter, it's cold, socks don't stay on). Socks and shoes. Bouncey seat, swing, bassinet - he wouldn't put up with any of them. We ended up cosleeping (didn't plan on it, but that was the only way he would sleep), and he finally learned to fall asleep in a crib for naps, but other than that he was always just on us. Baby tub - used it just a few times. First we sponge bathed, then the baby tub, which he hated, then we moved into the big tub with his dad holding him while I scrub.

What I was thrilled to have: two Boppies, a glider, a changing table. Ours was a hand-me-down that is just like a low dresser, but with a taller side section that hides a trashcan - never really looked at new options, so I don't know what others are like. But it serves as dresser and spot for changing and it's been handy as hell. I hate changing on the bed (sprayage!) or the floor (my back!).

What we went out and bought right away: swaddlers (turns out neither my husband nor I can swaddle at all, and the velcro ones really helped), pacifiers, more Lasinoh nipple cream, a white noise machine. We've used a bunch of different carriers, but none ever works out for more than a couple weeks. Fortunately, I don't think we actually spent more than $500 on baby stuff - everything big was given us either second hand or as a shower gift. Our biggest investment was a breast pump for about $180, which I knew I would need since I was going back to work.

I'm sure it's different for every family, but we found we needed almost none of the regular baby stuff. We used simple outfits, a few flannel swaddling blankets, prefold diapers and wool covers, flannel wipes, a wrap to wear the baby, and a plain bouncy seat. When the baby gets older we had a booster seat that strapped onto a kitchen chair and also worked great for taking to restaurants.

With the first baby we got everything Babies R Us said we needed and didn't use any of it! Not the stroller, or the crib, or the swing, or the bottles...we just found we didn't need it all because the baby liked to be held/worn and to nurse all the time, and before we knew it she was past the baby stage and we hadn't used any of that stuff!

Every family needs, or thinks that they need, different things. I think the point of this post is to show that at least SOME things are dispensable, and will reduce the amount of junk that you have or eventual trash that your baby produces. It's quite obvious that raising a baby uses a considerable amount of resources, so it's important to evaluate what you could live without, and what you actually need. And the things you actually need, you should look to borrow from friends or family, and then re-use those things as well.

I agree with this list!! I wish I hadn't bought the expensive round crib! I got it on Ebay because it's unique (and way cheaper than the grand it costs ay boutiques) but find I really want to buy more sheets for it but can't due to it's shape (DUH!)
I still wouldn't buy the sets sold in most stores though. I like to mix and match colors and patterns and you can't use the pillows, comforters with a newborn. Really, all I want is the fitted sheet and the crib skirt so I'm learning to sew.

Gimmicky products I actually use ALL THE TIME:
-Boppy (for ME!)
-Bumbo- I put it on the counter so my daughter can watch me wash dishes. I NEVER leave her side when using it.
-Swaddle Me blankets- my daughter fights her way out of all the regular sheets. Plus these are closed in the bottom so she can't wiggle down and cover her face in it.
-Ergo Baby carrier- I carry her around the apartment when she's clingy (usually when she's sick).
-Fisher Price Swing WITH car mirror- I attached a mirror intended for car use to the swing and she spends more time staring at herself on the swing.
Lorex Digital monitor- I use it to watch the baby while she sleeps. I keep it plugged in as batteries waste super fast.
- Huggies wipes- all other wipes are too thin or small

Things I did NOT use:
-All blankets- Baby inched her way into the blanket and scared the bejesus out of me one day.
-Heavy car seat- sucks in our 3 floor walk up.
-Ring carrier- hurt my back big time- gave it away
-Clothing without button on both legs or with head openings that don't open wide
-Changing "station"- I just changed baby in the crib and used a receiving blanket to block the poop. I stored the diaper cream, diapers and baby lotion in a cute box I got at the shower. The "station" was returned for disposable diapers- the cloth ones were wanted but I don't have a laundry in my building (or within 2 blocks).
Hope this helps someone.

I rarely wander over to the Baby section of Apartment Therapy as my kids are OLD, (16, 21, 23), but the topic caught my eye because the more things change, the more they stay the same. Over 23 years ago I got so much 'stuff' for my first baby, my house looked like a toy/department store. I had 4 diaper bags for crying out loud! (Hey, it was the 80's!).
I couldn't go out of the house to the market without a litany of so called essentials. It took me hours to go anywhere.
By the time baby #3 rolled around, I had narrowed it down to one big purse, (a huge hand me down vintage Chanel bag that I still use!), a diaper and wipes. That's it! I carried the kid everywhere, breast fed him, and kept his bottom clean. Good times, good times. Now he's 16 and taller then me, but he still hugs me every day and cleans his room after only 3 reminders. Life is good.
Enjoy your babies everyone. In a blink they're gone!
Cheers

For me the best thing I got was a Phil and Ted hook on high chair, it is great for traveling, using every day, it fits in a draw so when guest come over you can hide it. It hooked on to my desk so when my husband was deployed we could skype and I didn't have to hold my little one forever. I used it in the lounge on the coffee table, you name it that chair has been hooked to it! So for me a huge must have.

I have never understood why a diaper bag is better than a back pack/courier bag/any other bag.

I agree that the lists aren't necessarily super useful, but I think they can offer an insight into a given person.

Our ergo and our Sherpani backpacks have been lifesavers. We still use both of them (and the Sherpani for another long while I assume) all the time (our twins are turning 3), while our stroller? We've used less than 30 times.

Things I couldn't have lived without. A medela classic breast pump (it was on an IV stand! It was huge!), an extra freezer for frozen breast milk, our pack and play, Bum Genius diapers, a good bottle brush, onesies that snap up the front and footless pjs.

Things we have that we could have done without: a crib, a stroller, bucket carseats.

I used to have an Infantino baby carrier. I loved it for about 2 months until my healthy baby out grew it due to enormously fat thighs. (not everyone has that problem.) So now for my 3rd baby, I bought myself about 5 yds of fabric and made an imitation of the Moby wrap, which I loved. Youtube helped show me how to wrap it.

I love, love, love Robeez. Chunky baby shoes with heels completely puzzled me. How can they learn to walk with those? I don't buy Robeez anymore, because their are so many cute, handmade knockoffs on Etsy. My daughter got so many compliments on her $20 baby moccasins.

Different babies seem to respond differently to the big toys. I used to have a swing, and my babies never warmed to it. However they love the exersaucers. So definitely borrow as much of that stuff as you can, even if it's just to try it out. A lot of my friends and I just rotate the toys around each other's house, instead of all owning our own.

The January issue of Martha Stewart Living had a couple with a baby swing hanging from their ceiling. I loved that idea.