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i'm in interested to see what others say. i'm planning a shower for my friend this summer (never planned one before) ... and i know people hate the games sometimes but its true- it serves a purpose! i also think its best to keep the shower short. my mom and sister planned my shower and it was only about 2 hours long... partially because we rented a hall for it, i was on bedrest and wasnt supposed to be up and about for too long, and because i know not everyone loves showers and requested that it be as painless as possible for guests! i decided to just invite family and close friends... didnt invite casual friends or work friends... to keep the guest list small and manageable. plus i didnt want the cost of food/decorations/supplies to get too outrageous for the planners.

i think the games are the way to get people to open up in a setting like this... it allowed my personal friends to mingle and talk with my family that they have never met... people had fun and actually got quite competitive over winning the games!

I saw a link to a baby shower recently on the Sublime Stitching site that looked really cute and clever. Instead of all those God awful games, they had onesies out and various fabric paints, iron-ons, and embroidery thread. Everyone sat around a long table and made a bunch of baby outfits for the mom-to-be. In a 2 hour window, that, some cocktails, snacks, and present opening should be enough.

The candy bar in the diaper game should be outlawed. It's a real litmus test of friendship if your host makes you go through that one. Gross and tacky.

As one who has hosted many a baby shower, I find that in a group that is not well acquainted, leaving the seating more casual can make a huge difference--having friends sitting around a room rather than in assigned seats at a banquet table makes for much less forced confrontation and more natural interaction.

I really am not one for games, but I always ask each person to write a little note of advice to share after everyone has had a chance to get their food. The shower you went to sounds much too fussy. This kind of setting may be beautiful, but you can have a beautiful shower in a more warm, more naturally welcoming setting.

I think as long as the games are more "getting to know you" type than "You must be a baby expert to win" the games are OK to include.

Showers are generally uninteresting for people unless they're also interested in babies (or weddings) which is usually rare. So my view is to make the shower as un-traditional as possible since the idea of a traditional shower makes most women break out into a cold sweat.

Think of showers along the metaphor of superbowl parties. Usually at those there's something for everyone--football fans or those who just want to stand around, chat and watch the commercials. Most superbowl parties would suck if you had to sit in an assigned seat with your eyes glued to the screen unable to talk during any of the game. But that's exactly what happens at most showers.

So shake it up a little, have something for everyone. For summer months, plan a casual bar-b-que, invite male friends and family members.

You are spot on! Everyone says they hate the cheesy games, but they are meant to be icebreakers and to give everyone something to do. Not such a big deal if you have a small party with just close friends, but if you have a large shower, (I've thrown them for as many as 30, and will be throwing another in a few weeks with 25 invitees), with people from age 25-70 and all different interests, you need a way to keep the party lively and conversation flowing!
Also, 2 hours is the perfect amount for a shower. I've been to showers that are longer and everyone is just dying to leave. I also threw a shower where I couldn't get the people out of my house! It's the same group that will be at the shower in a few weeks and I hope I don't have the same problem this time. I think one key is not to serve alcohol.
I love throwing showers, but it's obvious when you go to one where the person has no clue what they're doing. A certain amount of organization and time management is necessary. Oh, another pet peeve: people who show up late! Then you don't start on time and showers run over. People need to understand that showers are an occasion where fashionably late doesn't work.

I’ve planned and been to several baby showers and think that the most successful ones have similar elements:

Small round tables or guests on couches and what not. No one can hold a conversation at banquet tables.

Serve yourself. Waiting for food to come out and get cleared and all that, takes so much time. Do a buffet. Plus, it’s another opportunity for guests to talk to each other.

Get gifts going quickly. As soon as lunch/brunch is done, gifts. People can have desert while gifts are getting opened or after.

I hate games, but have always loved doing arts and crafts activities at showers. All ages seem to like onesie and bib making. Set up a station and people can come and go as they wish.

The one game that I think really worked at a shower was when the host set a timer during the gift opening. If it went off during your gift, you get a prize. People started running up to move their gift to get picked next. It was fun and very helpful for a looooong shower.

Like any party, the hostess need to be aware that guests don’t know each other. Introduce. Bring people over to the make-a-onesie table. Etc.

And alcohol. Sure mom to be can’t really indulge, but a little white wine certainly never hurt a party. Don’t put bottles on the table, though. Make people get up and go to a bar area. Again: more ways to talk to people.

I don't have baby shower advice (As I have not told family yet) but at my wedding shower was not too long ago I can let you know what worked and what did not. Big thanks to my friend for throwing it!

Casual buffet style food worked fantastically. The dining table was covered in food and the living room had lots of seats and chairs for everyone. This was especially good for grandmas. Games were simple and cute, not disgusting or raunchy. The whole thing was very short, there were late people and people who left early. There was not a lot of organizing or decorating. Really I think you shouldn't stress too much about these things because you will have no control over them in the end.

My favorite part was my nephew (who is 4) came, I had not seen him in 2 years, and HE opened the presents. The one thing I hate is being the present opener. So if you can get little kids to do it, its so much more fun.

My mom and I recently threw a bridal luncheon for my sister. Scarred from years of miserable wedding and baby showers (with and without games), we wanted to do something different, so we held a seed packing bee! (What's that? You can read about it here: http://cottage-industrialist.com/blog/2009/4/30/a-seed-packing-bee.html)

The women at her shower were all from different times and places in my sister's life, but we all came together to have a few bites to eat, enjoy a drink, and make something special that she appreciated far more than random whoozits off of her registry. There were no awkward silences and no frustrating cliques.

I hope to do parties like this for all the baby and wedding showers I plan in the future!

I think it helps to have a clear intention in mind when throwing a shower. Why are you bringing these people together, in this room, at this time? What is the point of the gathering?

A shower (bridal or baby) is not a dinner party. It's an acknowledgement and celebration of a person's life on the precipice of change. One could approach this change with reverence or exuberant whimsy. Or any combination thereof.

There is a tremendous range of games and activities that can be played at a shower that go far beyond guessing the size of expectant mother's belly. As with all parties, picking a concrete theme and building the activities, food, and decor around that theme is key.

I also believe that baby showers shouldn't only celebrate impending motherhood, but fatherhood, as well. But that's a different discussion.

I love the idea of having an activity to do rather than play games or try to make silly conversation with people I'll likely never see again. I once went to a shower where there were scrapbooking supplies laid out on tables and we chose an "event" (first tooth, first vacation, friends, first birthday, etc.)to make a page so the busy mom could fill it in later. Everyone had a blast and it gave us all something to talk about that wasn't personal or invasive for lots of strangers.

Concur with the alcohol! but really, it's 4 hours of your life, just deal with it. Games are annoying and for 4 year olds. As far as your uptight neighbors, it's not such a bad thing to get up and mingle, circulate a bit. Other than that, its for the grandparents anyway...

Try having photo tree centerpieces on each table that involve pictures with lots of the guests. It will get people moving from table to table and telling stories. At least, that's what it did for guests at our wedding.

i agree with Yolanda. I'm pregnant and my baby shower is coming up. The invitations clearly state both or our names, mom and dad to be. It will be a casual afternoon party with friends and family. catered but bbq style. more about everyone getting to interact with everyone else. families to meet. people can touch the belly and talk about babies. we really just wanted to celebrate this occasion with our friends and family, we don't need everyone to know what each of us liked eating when we were a baby or how many sheets of toilet paper can wrap around my belly. :)

I had a really intimate baby shower in a private area of a restaurant - I loved it. But at bigger showers, I think some direction is needed. At one shower I went to, we went around the room and all of the mothers gave a piece of advice or a story. I was not a mother at the time and still enjoyed hearing everyone. Also, I was at a baby shower where everyone was asked to bring their favorite children's book, which were then displayed - very cool way to start someone's nursery library. Lately, I have been to more and more co-ed showers - one was a couple's brunch where gifts were opened and another was a cocktail party, where gifts were left in the corner for later. Both were fun and got the guys involved too.

I'm throwing a shower next month for my sister. Instead of a game we'll be passing around a "baby's 1st year" calendar and a list of "firsts" (first tooth, first steps, etc.). We'll ask each guest to choose one of the firsts and then predict, on the calendar, which day it will happen. Then the guest will have to give a piece of advice that goes along with that first (i.e. first solid food--don't be in a rush to start solid food!)

Also, it's always nice to go around the room and have everyone introduce themselves and how they know the mom-to-be. At the last shower I was at, I was amazed to hear myself say I had been friends with the guest of honor for over 20 years!

At showers were the baby's name hasn't been decided, it's fun to have everyone write down name suggestions and then pick them out of a hat to make first and middle name combinations. The more creative suggestions the better!

hmm. am i the only person on earth who actually enjoys baby shower games? i was frankly disappointed not to have any at my showers! :D

pxlchk1- thanks for the onesie decorating idea... i was thinking of going for more art/crafts activities since the shower i'm going to throw is for a younger crowd and was thinking of getting blank board books to decorate but i like the onesie idea better!

I absolutley abhore wedding or baby shower games! I allowed my friends to do a few not too silly ones for my wedding shower, but it was a very small affair where everyone knew each other well. For our first baby we are having several showers. Mostly because there are too many people to invite to one event. They are all coed. One for my huge family and friends in my home state. One for our friends here in the town we live in. One for my coworkers and possibly another smaller one with my husbands family...They are all going to be casual and more like summer bbqs than anything else...

I recommend arts and crafts activities, or bring a favorite book parties. I also like co-ed parties.

I find the opening of gifts part of showers (both baby and wedding) to be incredibly tedious. I wish there was a way to not have to go through that.

i may have seen it on this blog or maybe elsewhere, but i loved the idea: the host sent out with the invitations different colors/pieces of fabric for the guests to decorate (in this instance it was a bird on a square quilt block) and when they all brought them to the shower it made a lovely banner or could be pieced together to someday make a quilt. you could also do this kind of craft at the shower. it was neat to see that even though everyone got the same fabric, they all turned different.

From your post - the first thing I heard that made the shower sound awful was the long banquet style tables. Really? To me a shower is much more informal, a few hours of conversation and nibbles and laughs and gifts. Something as formal as you describe would definitely be horrid no matter what the event was!

I am a big hater of shower games or any kind of icebreaker games. They're horrid and forced 90% of the time. There are some that can be done very well, but they're few and far between.

I guess my bottom line is - don't have a shower so big that it requires lunch service and banquet tables.

pyjammy-I also love shower games! And as far as a co-ed baby shower, I definitely think that is best since there are TWO people involved, but in the case of my friend who I am throwing one for, she had an invitation list of 60 people if we invited the men (and children)! So the men are having a separate bar-b-cue and beer thing while we do the girly thing.

Somebody may have already mentioned this, but I like when people get a chance to introduce themselves in a group setting at the beginning of the shower -- like say who they are, how they're related to the bride/mom-to-be, and maybe have them tell a little story about something that happened between them or a special memory they have of the honoree.

I hate showers where you walk into a big room and it's one big group and you just only know the bride and maybe one or two friends. The bride/mom to be may have always told funny stories about her Aunt Zelda, but you wouldn't know who Aunt Zelda is until she actually takes the chance to introduce herself!

When I had my child, I had 3 separate baby showers: one for coworkers, one for family and one for non-work friends. This worked perfectly because I made the three people that offered to host my shower happy, and all the showers were fun and intimate.

FOUR hours long? That's ridiculous. If you have a baby (or wedding shower) that ends up being four hours long, you've invited too many people.

At one co-ed shower I threw, I met each guest at the door of the hall we were using, and steered them to the present table, where the parents-to-be opened the present and exclaimed over its awesomeness, then set it out on a decorated table. Then they were free to get some food or decorate a onesie. People who like looking at widdle baby things could come over and be enchanted, and people who don't could pretend it was just a regular party.

This is an especially good plan if the expectant parents aren't comfortable in the spotlight. I had a few giant bridal showers which were really hard on me since I hate to be the center of attention.

Where I live, the trend seems to be toward having several smaller showers, each held for and by different groups of friends. So, in theory, your family throws you a family shower, your co-workers throw you work shower, your other friends throw you another party, etc. (I say "etc", though I've only had those three kinds of showers.) It keeps the parties smaller, friendlier, easier to organize, and blessedly free of shower games.

It also makes it easier for people to shop, I think. For example, co-workers are more likely to pass the hat and chip in $5-10 each to put toward a car seat or stroller or something like that, whereas family members are more likely to individually splash out big dough for big gifts. Having separate parties means that your work friends don't have to feel like they should be spending a tonne on gifts.

Four freaking hours!?! Good God! Sounds like torture to me!

I once attended a baby shower & had similar feelings of alienation as I was the ONLY woman who hadn't had any children. I was was given the most catty comments and "compliments" from the other mothers (oh, don't bother trying to explain it to her; she's focusing on her career.)

Although the shower games do grease the socal wheels a bit, please please skip the game where you blindly taste the baby food and try to guess what it is. It's really disgusting. I like pxlchk1's idea of using craft paint to decorate onesies! Fun for moms and not-yet-moms alike!

The nice thing about having some sort of ongoing crafts project is that it gives people something to do throughout the shower--even during the gift-giving part, if they're not into cooing over every present the couple opens (though I, personally, love that part.)
At our shower, our friends did the onesie decorating thing with fabric markers--we loved it! When it was our turn to throw a shower for the couple that hosted ours, we reciprocated by having the guests create an alphabet book for their baby. We wrote the letters A-Z and the numbers 1-10 on 4x6 index cards and made a few models; "E" was an elf, with a simple drawing and the word written across the bottom; "6" was a picture of six slugs; etc. We also wrote messages to the baby on the back of the cards. We hung the cards up on a clothesline so that everyone could see the cards as people decorated them, and gave the couple a "brag book" photo album to keep the cards in. It was a lot of fun to make, and a big hit with the couple.

I love the idea of bringing books; recently I threw a shower and before the Mom-to-Be began opening gifts, I had each person introduce themselves and how they met the Mom, then had them tell a short story about the first time they met their first child or (if they didn't have kids) a special story about their Mom. This went over really well and ended up being so sweet and meaningful for the Mom.

Love the book and onesie ideas! I hate the games and all the silly stuff--but at my daughter's baby shower, there were only a couple of games and they weren't too bad. (But, really, you *don't* need prizes for the "winners", esp. when the prizes are cutesy home items like candleholders that are very taste-specific!)

Having a co-ed shower makes a huge difference and changes the dynamic for the better, not to mention setting the tone for equal participation in parenting from the beginning.

Oh I hate it when these types of things go wrong.. I will say though, I'm not a huge fan of baby showers or wedding showers.. I think it must be the games... I really can't stand them, although, like you said, it's still nice to support the mom-to-be or bride-to-be. A close friend of mine got married last year and since I was her oldest and closest friend, part of the planning was up to me. We decided to have an outside bridal shower. Growing up, there was a school not far from our house, we used to go sled riding there every winter. They had a huge grassy area for soccer and baseball. So instead of having the shower in a stuffy house, we had it outside- in the grass - picnic style. It really livened everything up. It was so much fun being outside, at a place where we had so many memories together and having a picnic style brunch, sitting on blankets and digging up memories. Hope this helps for future ideas!!

There are three things necessary for a successful shower:

1. Quickly getting through the presents. This is especially critical if it is a large shower, as a bride/preggie that takes time to exclaim over every gift can really slow a party's momentum. My formula is to have the honoree come in, say hello to everyone (make the whole round so that you don't feel bad if you missed someone who leaves early), quickly grab a bite to eat then sit in a chair while you are passed gifts. It helps to have a few kids that can "help" unwrap - they will generally tear off the paper and whisk the gift away before you can say 'what was that?'

2. Alcohol. An absolute must - even if the honoree can't drink, it helps other people to relax and start conversations (have you tried the mimosa? oh, it's over there).

3. One main activity that takes time. Too many games just confuse people and take up time. A fun quiz that has some difficulty is great. My family tradition is that everyone has to embroider something - tea towels for a bridal shower, onesies and burp cloths for a baby shower. This is also very entertaining to see the results, as the inexperienced crafters come up with designs and are forced to talk to others to learn how to start and finish their creations.

This may seem a bit cool rather than the warm and fuzzy of a shower, but it results in a fun party where everyone really enjoys conversations instead of just watching someone open gifts for hours!

Games are a must for showers where the guests don't all know each other. I liked modeling the baby out of playdoh.

Onesie and scrapbook page decorating sound really fun too!

Any kind of party needs some sort of activity beyond eating and drinking...

Just don't make this mistake: http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/07/first-censored-cake-wreck.html

Between my husband and I we were thrown 4 showers: one each at work, one from my family out in Chicago and one from his family in New Hampshire. When friends at home (in Jersey) wanted to have one, I suggested we have it at our house.

I was worried it would seem tacky and maybe it is, but I think it ultimately was the best thing for everyone involved. I was HUGE so it was just more comfortable for me to be at home. All of our friends didn't know each other, but they knew us obviously and had been to our house so I think it made for a more relaxing atmosphere (vs. going to someone's house they'd never met before).

My girlfriends and I put brunch together and kept it very casual. Inviting men too instead of just women and providing alcohol made it more like a regular party instead of a baby shower. Not that I don't love traditionally girly baby showers, but this just worked out better for both of us.

I just went to a baby shower where I was one of the only people who didn't know the rest of the group, who all went to school or worked together. This was successful because:
-- there were no games
-- the hostesses went out of their way to talk to me for long enough to figure out with whom I had the most in common
-- there was alcohol

It was also at a wonderful spa, so we all went to have massages and whatnot after lunch.

In my opinion it is up to the hostess - or person of honor - to introduce people who don't know each other. Or if there is clearly a main group that knows each other and some stragglers along the wall, stop acting like you're in middle school and try to include them. And yes, alcohol. The mother-to-be is used to not drinking at that point and she should want her friends to be able to loosen up a little - especially if they don't know each other. Games are a last resort - I think opening the gifts should serve as the main entertainment.

Have a regular cocktail/dinner/bbq/whatever party with both sexes. I'm not sure why only women are usually subjected to these things. The fact that I have a uterus does not mean I want to talk about babies or parenting or ooh and aah over baby stuff any more than my husband does. That doesn't mean I'm not excited for you.
With presents, keep in mind that the guest(s) of honor may feel awkward opening, oohing, and being watched by the rest of the party and watching someone open baby gifts is pretty boring and takes a lot of time. It seems to only be entertaining for the other moms in the room. Know your audience and guest(s) of honor, I suppose.
Baby shower games are mostly wretched, gross, or asinine. Choose wisely.
That said, I threw a baby shower/large dinner party for a couple, invited both sexes, had alcohol, and the guests of honor got rave feedback from the other guests saying it was the best baby shower they'd attended. We played 3 games: 1) the don't say the word "baby" game (fun, especially after a few drinks, and good for mingling); 2) a baby food taste test in which the couple was blindfolded and had to taste and name the baby food (fun for this couple since they are foodies and delightful to watch); and 3) I had all the guests bring a baby picture of themselves, posted them up, and everyone guessed who was who (good conversation starter).

After hosting many wedding and baby showers here are my simple tips:
1. alcohol
2. an activity...onesies, a quilt, etc. Or for my best friends wedding shower I provided a large ceramic salad bowl (ala color me mine) and had each guest paint a flower on it. It turned out lovely.
3. this is a good one...Shower Gift Bingo! make bingo cards, each square has a likely gift on it (onesie, sheets, blanket, etc.), each guest gets a card and play to Blackout. THis keeps everyone occupied and talking during the sometimes trying process of gift opening. The trick is having to make all of the unique bingo cards, which I did the first time I tried this, ugh it took forever. Of course Google to the rescue ...I found a site that provides downloadable shower bingo cards. I don't remember the name, but just google shower bingo.
Good Luck, Have fun!

Why does anyone have a shower for a wedding or baby? It's antiquated and boring and I can think of 1000 ways to better honor a new mother. For example, how about a night of free babysitting? Not only do you have to suffer through mind numbing conversation and are forced to display false enthusiasm, you have to pay for it! Come on, ladies, let's move on. Why do we like to torture ourselves?

The best way to keep the gift bingo easy is to keep the cards blank and let the guests fill in their own squares. That keeps the conversation going as they all guess what the gifts will be!

i just registered so that i could leave a comment for the first time - and i'm on this site a lot - but that message from LBhirise (which by the way - really - that's the screen name you're going with - congrats on the high rise - yuppies...i swear) just an uncalled for response

speaking as a single woman...constantly getting dressed up, putting on a smile, and buying presents for people just because they decided to get knocked up or hitched is annoying enough - but having to be criticized for it just because they decided to vent a little on a blog (which by the way, mentioned no names whatsoever and therefor did not embarrass anyone) how bitchy are you? and did you notice the incredibly long, helpful, and detailed responses from everyone else who is normal?

in addition, she's obviously a good conversationalist or she wouldn't be blogging professionally - so why don't you take your high rise and shove it where the sun don't shine (not to be ugly, but it seemed an appropriate response - love to all the other therapy visitors!)

ajavonfleurenberg: I totally agree. They're stressful for the host and largely unenjoyed by the guests. Why spend so much money on something nobody enjoys? A good friend will give a gift because they want to give it, not because they are obligated to when attending a shower.

The easiest way to avoid having an awful baby shower experience is to decline the invite and go do something fun that day. You can still support the mommy-to-be without having to rub elbows with her tired-and-dry dormmates from eight years ago who would rather poke at their cheese with a sesame cracker than know anything about you or why you're there.

no shower should be more than 2 hours. I like the gift bingo idea b/c usually it is a really boring part of the shower.

usually if I don't know at least 50% of the people there I decline and just sent the mom to be a gift, or get together with her some other time that is more meaningful anyway.

Holy Smokes! seems we've really hit a shower nerve here. I can say that back in my cynical, selfish single days ( don't go crazy, I'm only describing my previous self, not all single ladies) I did dread showers of any sort. But when I fell in love, got married and reproduced I was "showered" several times by friends and family. And I have to tell you, I am a shower convert. I felt so blessed and truly touched to see my loved ones enthusiastically gathering around me to celebrate something of great value and helping me to establish a home for my family and then prepare for the birth of my children. I was so struck by how deeply beautiful it is - the way that women gather around one another, support one another and take the time to celebrate one another. So, not to get to deep on you, but since I can see both sides of the fence...let's not let cynicism and snarkiness get the best of us. Sure, showers can be lame ( I once endured a Pampered Chef Shower for the love of God!) but done right, they can also be a sweet moment to honor a loved one and an exciting transition in her life.

I've recently hosted a couple baby showers of mixed attendees and shy parents. In order to avoid public embarassment but still allow for a bit of "shower fun" we created a gift basket of items around the theme of the expected parents and created a squares game for the due date. Everyone purchased squares at $2 each and all the proceeds went to the expected parents. It helped create a bit of distraction, and got people involved that would have otherwise remaind wall flowers. Co-ed, casual showers are a great way to celebrate for those parents who aren't into the "traditional" shower.

i am not down with the shower games either, but appreciate their purpose in creating synergy in an otherwise disconnected group. so for my sister's shower (with guests ranging in age from 8 to 80), we planned a game of "baby-o," which was a big hit.

super simple concept: guests fill in blank bingo cards with items they think mom-to-be will receive, and check them off as she opens her gifts. prizes go to those who bingo.

the game kept everyone engaged in the (always all-too-long) present-opening process, all while keeping the "cheese factor" at bay.

theme was polka dots, so i created the following board:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/oWbboloaA2ltnEhG4wWBLg?authkey=Gv1sRgCOaksJKa64Xx5AE&feat=directlink

I will offer one baby shower game that I have found to be fun and that doesn't involve identifying melted candy bars in diapers! I've played a "Celebrity Mommy" game at a shower and it was a hoot! Each guest selected a name from a hat and posted it on her back. She then had to ask yes/no questions to figure out who she was. We had a Britney Spears, Mother Theresa, the Virgin Mary...you name it! It was a fun way to get people talking and laughing and allowed for mingling around the room, rather than being "wrangled" into a game.

The same shower also had little bowls on the tables with questions to spark discussions, such as "What was your favorite childhood toy?" and the like...

What created the failure of the shower mentioned is the long banquet tables. They are torture for any kind of large get-together! Smaller rounds seating 8-10 are always the best!

"We were seated at a series of long banquet tables"

And therein lies the problem.

I hated forced games when I was a child. Now I hate them and find them offensively infantilizing to boot. But honestly I've never been to a shower that had them, so it's not really an issue. I also don't really understand why people have a problem being entertained with just food; drink and conversation. If your groups of friends have so little overlap - including in interests - there should be separate showers, but I wonder why so many people seem to have lives that are that compartmentalized. Sure, I have friends from work, friends from high school, friends I've gotten to know through activities and such. But I've also had dinner parties and bbqs to which these people have been invited, I had a wedding to which everyone came. It's not like there are going to be people at a shower who have never met a single other friend before.Unless there were unusual circumstances (this is my friend from the Peace Corps who just moved into town!), I would have to ask myself why I was inviting someone I am not close enough to to have introduced them to my other friends or my family.
The showers I've attended have generally been very casual, held at people's homes, not restaurants, and the other "special" activity was the gift-opening (which is admittedly a little dull, less so with champagne). Everyone enjoyed talking to the people they knew and meeting the people they didn't; the food was good, etc. People milled around, they weren't given assigned seats. It's a party, folks. Parties are supposed to be fun - this isn't an awards banquet.

And finally, I should say that one of the issues particular to this sort of party is that there is a guest of honor and a hostess, the first of whom may be tired, aching, nauseous, or just unable to stand a lot, and the second of whom might not really know all the guests. That means there's a gap in the important role of making sure every guest is comfortable, introduced to people who might share interests, etc. Assuming the party is not a complete surprise (and it shouldn't be - the whens and wheres can be, but it's probably best to discuss some of the guest list, etc, with the pregnant woman), the hostess and the guest of honor should discuss a little which guests might feel out of place, to whom they ought be introduced, etc. It may make sense to assign one or two social people (a gregarious sister-in-law, the college friend who can talk to a stump) to keep an eye on those guests, or just to keep things moving in general. Awkward, dopey games can't replace an actual hostess.

Wow, that just sounds ridiculously formal and the total opposite of what a baby shower should be.

At my baby shower we had people paint onesies with fabric markers and we also took photos of each guest, printed them out on a little photo printer, glued it into a blank book and had them write things to us and the baby on the way. It was lovely and kept everyone circulating and doing, instead of sitting and staring. And we have lovely mementos. There were pages left in the book, so I had everyone at Oliver's first birthday party write to him again to fill it up. The focus should be on celebrating and supporting a new family, not playing dumb games that everyone hates anyway.

Co-ed showers are the greatest (wedding and baby). We had a co-ed wedding shower (we choose to be kid-free). We have also attended co-ed baby showers, and there were games involved, but more along the lines of "trivia" and the men had a baby bottle beer contest. Not too bad. Alcohol is a must!
As soon as we find out our friends are expecting, we'll get together and paint onesies, burp cloths, and whatever else we can get our hands on! My friends tell me there are always uses for onesies. I absolutely love the idea of doing a quilt with blocks from each guest, hopefully someone is talented enough to put it all together for the parents! Great ideas all around to file away for future reference.

Not sure if someone has mentioned this...but my favorite way to handle gifts at a baby shower is to pass a gift to every guest and then have everyone open "their" gift at the same time. You can go around and have everyone show what they opened, or not. As long as the mom-to-be doesn't care about sharing the fun, it makes the process go a lot faster and everyone is more interested because they're involved.

Shannonm, your idea is great...I will definitely remember this when helping to plan my daughter's shower some day. I also like all of the other ideas that expedite the gift opening. Also, showers should be "open to the public"...seems like this would make for a more enjoyable and memorable event, and doesn't it seem natural that kids should be in attendance? They would have so much enthusiasm for this kind of thing, and have the added benefit of keeping the cheesy raunchiness at bay. By the way...we think nothing of placing time limits on kids' birthday parties...why not on showers? Guests would definitely appreciate knowing that the day's commitment wasn't open-ended.

I realize that most of the people who read this site either have kids or are planning to soon, but can I offer a bit of advice from those of us who don't? Please don't assume that everyone attending the baby shower wants to have kids, or can. The one I went to for my sister, put on by the lovely ladies from the church her husband works at, was painful for me. As someone who doesn't know if conceiving will be an issue or not (and there are many women out there who suffer from reproductive complications), it was hard to deal with all the conversation that assumed every girl was planning her wedding and babies from age 5. I certainly wasn't one of those girls, and felt like an outcast. Oh, and the prayers!

Just... please be sensitive. Showers are a celebration, but they shouldn't make people feel like lepers.

For my baby shower I had an afternoon high tea with a book theme. I asked guests that if they wanted to buy the baby a gift that a book would be appreciated.

We played a couple of games which were fill in the blanks for nursery rhymes and celebrity baby quiz. I think that was enough to keep people interested without overkill.

I think the best showers are the casual ones, where people can move around the room and mingle. Also showers are supposed to be a fun get together with your friends before the baby arrives, not a present gathering exercise which some people believe it is.

Yuck. I hate showers and avoid avoid avoid. A rose is a rose: if you invite men and have alcohol, it is still a shower. Plus, no men like to go to showers - let's be honest.

I do have to admit that baby showers are better than wedding showers. Baby showers at least have cute baby things (I'm not cold-hearted). Who wants to see the knife set you registered for? No one.

Wow. A lot of strong opinions about showers. It's clear that many of us have had to suffer through some awful shower experiences.

Top 5 rules for hosting a shower:

1. Stick to a strict schedule. The hostess must maintain the flow and be crystal clear with guests about what is happening - not unlike a kindergarten teacher.

2. Cocktail party style works, sit-down meals don't. With a party style, there is way more freedom for guests (sit where you want, talk to the people you want to talk to, etc.) and way more flexibility for the host (rescue someone who is being bored to death, rescue the person sitting along, dive in with a funny story during an awkward silence, etc.).

3. Do activity stations instead of games - but they must be optional. Some people will freak out if forced to write or draw anything on the spot. Even if it's only a spectator sport for some, activity stations still provide something to do. Point is, no obligation.

4. Delegate jobs. As hostess, have some simple tasks in your mind before hand. When you see someone alone or bored, ask them to help you with x, y, or z. Keeps them busy and eliminates the bored looking people who kill a good party ambiance.

5. Encourage discussion during gift receiving. An entire room of adults do not need to sit in silence to watch someone open presents. The hostess should keep the party going while gifts are being opened. If gifts are passed around, then everyone still gets to see the loot but doesn't have to experience the shower like a piano recital.