apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I just registered a couple of weeks ago and also found it overwhelming. Two of my friends with young kids volunteered to come with me, though, and they were a huge help. They pointed and I clicked! So my advice is to take someone with you who has had a baby in the recent past. I was able to register in an hour!!!

Babies R Us has a new parents checklist for the first year with buying guides.

http://www.toysrus.com/registry/truParentsCheckList.jsp

That's a good option if you don't have a close friend who jumped first. Hee!

Go out and buy "Baby Bargains", the book. It will tell you what to splurge on, what to skip, which brands are worth the hype and which are not.

It is based on product reviews by the authors plus input from *thousands* of parents. (The book is updated every year and has been out for at least 6 years.)

It was our bible when it came to preparing for our baby.

PS: Newborns don't need toys ;-)

http://www.amazon.com/Baby-Bargains-7th-furinture-maternity/dp/1889392251/ref=pd_bbs_2/002-0148428-7048870?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1178290134&sr=8-2

BTW: I think the authors over-emphasize the "bargains" aspect in the title. This is about getting value for your money by making sure you are getting the right products in each category, and focusing on those items most parents find most useful (and not those being marketed most agressively to them).

I bought the book "Baby Bargains" based on the advice of several friends, (get the most recent addition) and since I was working full-time (and expecting twins and needing to get my feet up the minute I got home from work), I didn't have time to wander around a big shop and work on a registry. I used the top picks from the book and went on-line to register - from the couch! It was so simple, painless, and not very time consuming (or confusing). Most of my things came from Target where there is much more on-line than in my local shop (and they have tons of stuff and all the big names). Any "special" stuff - like the candeloos we bought (and used for night feedings), I just purchased myself I also went to one local bricks and mortar shop (over a lunch hour) and registered for some simple onesies, cute socks, etc. Good luck and don't get too stressed out. That little baby can sleep soundly in a padded dresser drawer if you need to go that route! All the baby really needs is mom's milk, a soft blanket and lots and lots of love!

I agree. Baby Bargains is a very good resource. Made the clicking process very easy. Also, the AT nursery blog has been fantastic for recommending good products. Thanks AT! I also asked my friends for recommendations/lists. It doesn't mean the process wasn't overwhelming, but these things made it a lot easier.

I didn't register for anything. I am not really the registry type. I can see how one would be overwhelmed by the amount of *crap* you can buy for a baby.

My son is three months old and here are some things I received and loved:

Infant nightgowns. The kind that are gathered at the bottom. It makes sleepy diaper changes much easier. Some guys have problems with their son in a nightgown but it doesn't wake up baby so much when changing diapers. My husband didn't care and liked that our son remained sleepy.

A pack of washcloths. I received a pack of white washcloth with colored tabs from Ikea. This has been the single most useful thing I received as a baby gift. Not sure if you can register for them but any pack of washcloths would be worth it. I was stunned at how many washcloths I went through.

Waterproof crib mattress cover. wonderful for late night diaper blow-outs.

Velco swaddle blanket. swaddling a baby at 2 am when you are half asleep is remarkably difficult, velcro swaddlers are extremely helpful.

Changing table. Some people find changing tables to be a waste but as an older mom who had a c-section, I found the changing table to be a back saver.

The lamest thing I received and never really used was an infant monitor. I have a two story house but am able to hear my son cry all the time. I assume these were made for people who live in large mansions, spend hours in the basement or are hard of hearing. Plus the reception is pretty bad because of radio interference (a lot of things run on that band). I also think it creates unnecessary stress. Babies are pretty noisy sleepers and I could see someone becoming obsessed with checking on their baby at every noise.

Good luck with everything! In the end, what you get isn't as important as the love you will give your baby. Sounds overly sentimental but it is true. Your child really needs very little material-wise.

It's hard to gauge what you'll end up liking & using.

We were told not to register for any onesies, wash cloths, or bath towels because you will receive a ton of them anyway. I did receive the wash cloths and the bath towels. But we didn't receive any of the basic Gerber or Carter's white onesies.

We did not like the gowns or the kimono-type tops at all. Our experienced friends & coworkers loved them.

My husband did one mean swaddle, so we barely touched the velcro swaddle blanket. You will need several basic cotton receiving blankets for swaddling if you're not going with the velcro ones.

The changing pad was very useful, and not just for changing diapers. Our son loved to lay on it and chill out.

Waterproof pads for the crib are a must. You do not want to fight with the crib sheets at 3am. Get at least 2 pads.

Another item you may want to add on the registry is diapers.

I know times are changing, and people are painfully relaxed about this stuff, but really: registries are FOR WEDDINGS ONLY. Registering for baby gifts is REALLY REALLY tacky. Definitely in poor taste and says an awful lot about the parents.

I don't really understand where you are coming from Lonely Yodeller...are you one of those people who is a know it all and gives baby shower gifts that YOU think are necessary and the mom will just return it and think it's a waste when she would rather have had a practical item she registered for? And how is registering for a wedding any different that registering for a baby shower?

MamaChilanga-yes, yes, yes! And the authors of Baby Bargains Book redo it every other year or so, so they have the latest info on car seats, highchairs and all the new products that are introduced as must-haves (and aren't). They also put out a Toddler Bargains Book.

If there were no baby registries, all new parents would get would be enough baby washclothes and stuffed animals to outfit a hospital nursery. Not tacky at all. This isn't a registry for P. Diddy, it's a way to give gifts (for showers and after the birth) that new parents need. Read Meredith's question again, she is not in "poor taste."

If you decide to register, take a look at the store's return policy. You might decide later that another item would work better for you and it makes it a lot easier to exchange if the store has a more forgiving return policy. Even though Babies-R-Us is pretty overwhelming (I am shuddering as I write), we found they were the easiest to work with. Have fun shopping!

Even as unpopular as the line of thinking is, I agree with Lonely Yodeller.

I found it really helpful to look at people's amazon.com wishlists and other online registries to get an idea of what I was missing.

The one thing we should have gotten that we had to run out and get early on was batteries. All of those swings/bouncers /mobiles need lots of batteries!

We registered for the birth of our first daughter, and it was completely at the request of our loved ones...many people in our lives live far away from us and had no idea what we needed for the baby. So, in response to the "bad taste" comments, I would say that the tackiness comes from people that go around handing out cards to their friends saying "Here is where we registered."

As for what you need, seriously you would be surprised at the stuff you DON"T need. I would buy the furniture yourself and then register for things like strollers, and a few things like crib sheets that give people an idea of the colors you are using. Most of the time first time parents receive a slew of little outfits and onesies, so clothes aren't really a necessity.

At the risk of being even tackier than some commenters have suggested, if you can add gift certificates to the registry, you can then take your time choosing what to buy after your baby is born. Also, check the returns policy of the store you're registering with, in case you receive something you find you no longer need/want/have too much of.

If you're worried about items on the registry being too expensive, just stick to the basics that you'll definitely need: clothes, sheets, mattress protectors, washcloths, and even consumables such as nappies/diapers and wipes. If it's your thing, you might also consider books (baby books and parenting books) and CDs. These all add up in the end and the money you save on not having to buy them can go towards major purchases.

I've found that there will always be some people who find cash gifts, gift certificates and gift registries tacky (yes, some people find even bridal registries tacky--how about that?) but these are still much better alternatives to receiving a bunch of gifts you can't use then having to return/sell/regift them so you can actually buy the things you need. Just make sure you have items at various price points so no one feels pressured to spend more than they want to.

And my only other piece of advice is: don't be afraid to register parent-type gifts for yourself. You're part of the birth, too. :-)

I hope you have a great baby shower and birth!

I didn't register for my baby and don't know anyone who has. Not saying it's tacky, just completely outside my experience. Maybe it's a cultural thing, an income bracket thing, a regional thing.

On the other hand, I've never understood why cash gifts are supposed to be tacky. I think they are wonderful. I am Asian, and cash in a pretty red envelope is a customary and deeply appreciated gift for just about any occasion. While I'm generally annoyed by others appropriating our traditions left and right, this is one tradition I wish you'd appropriate. Cash! In pretty red envelopes!

Best baby shower gifts I received:
- Sling (Go to thebabywearer.com for great info about babycarriers and register for a couple different kinds. Support a work-at-home mom, not a big box store.)
- Diaper service (I've given FuzziBunz diapers and they were a big hit.)
- Nursing pajamas
- Nursing pillow
- Pump In Style breast pump
- Portable bouncy seat
- Swaddler
- Pants with little feet on them (for a winter baby)
- Cash! And gift certificates.

Did not use:
- Huge bottles intended for formula
- Pre-natal massage gift certificate (Are you kidding?? Unless a gift certificate for babysitting came with it, there was no way.)
- Baby shoes
- Too many baby blankets

We moved twice while I was pregnant with my daughter and both of us were working full time. My husband and I spent many a night at Babies R Us and most of the stuff on the registry came from their crummy list of "must haves". What you actually need is very basic for quite a while. You really don't even need a crib at first. The baby might be in a co-sleeper or in your bed. You need lots of diapers, lots of burp cloths, wipes, a nasal aspirator, and some tiny little clothes (like under 8 pounds).

I agree with others, if people can give you money, that's definately the best.

Don't worry about prices - in fact, you should register in a variety of price points from little doodads to the big ticket items. You never know how much people want to spend, or whether you have friends who want to chip in for a stroller or a crib.

You might also consider registering two places - say BRU for the basics (great return policies) and maybe somewhere stylish for decor, clothes and accessories.

One thought on registries: The only tacky thing about this post is someone who'd seek to dampen the spirits of an excited new mother-to-be. Anyone who loves you wants to get you what you want and need--and would hate to inconvenience you by making you exchange items you don't. More so than brides, new moms just don't have the time. Registries are a great way to help out the gift-givers in your life. Besides...there's no obligation to use it. It's a helpful guide.

Congrats on your future bambino and enjoy the ride!

Thank you LizCoolMom! Registries are not tacky, but practical. My husband and I are minimalists, and a major reason we made a registry (besides friends & family asking) is that we'd rather get a few things that we will want, use and value, then a bunch of unnecessary items or things that we will just never use.

We made a Target Registry for some basic necessities and then used myregistry.com to register for some less main stream items, such as glass baby bottles, affordable organic baby clothes & blankets, cloth diapers, etc. that you can't get at the big stores, but which are inline with our values and lifestyle.

Certainly, some people will gift off the registry (I do it myself when I know the person very well), but registries really are practical guides. We're still two months out from our little one's due date and the registry is new, but we'll see how it all pans out.

Non-parents like me are grateful for registries -- I haven't the beginning of a clue about what babies need, and I have reproducing friends who live far enough away that we don't discuss the nursery in a casual way.

So either you register, or you get what I consider to be appropriate as a stuffed animal, bearing in mind that I'm the troublesome auntie who thinks stuffed skunks are really cute.

To the "yoddeling idiot" who likes to slam everyone on AT. It's not in "bad-taste" to register to have a baby. Not for the first at least, much more is needed to take care of a new life than even say two people being joined in marriage. You must be bitter b/c you don't have kids, or can't. HA! Like I said on the color contest, rot! :)

I didn't need a breast pump, a stroller, or $750,000 worth of diapers when I got married. In my family, it's MUCH more common to give gifts for babies than weddings. It's a community effort, and Yoddeler needs to not assume that what's normal in his circle is normal for everyone else.

Having said that -- I'm now expecting my first, so please keep the suggestions coming!