On this entry, LBB asked a question that we thought deserved its own thread : "How old is too old and how small is too small? We are 50 and 53 in 550 sq ft on the LES and seriously considering adoption of a toddler/pre-schooler. A shared bedroom seems the only possibility for us. Thoughts on this, please! We own our co-op and adore our apartment..high ceilings, on a private park, great neighbors, great place for kids. Has anyone ever done a re-do of our sq footage to accomodate a young child? Any input most welcome!"
I think there are so many kids out there that need to be adopted and kids in a lot worse situations. It will definitely be tough, but when is raising kids not. For the first years a shared bedroom should be fine, with a play area in the living room, eventually you may have to put up a divider or as my friends have a hideaway bed in the living room they live in a studio or as we have a couch/futon that turns into a very comfy bed. right now our baby sleeps with us and the crib is in the living room, then we will probably put a bed for her where our bed is now and sleep in the living room, we have a loft though.
As for age if you have the energy and resources to handle a child and impending retirement increasing health care costs, then kudos to you.
Good luck, I say go for it!
While I am all for you adopting, as I think it is a real swell thing to do, I think you may need to do some thinking about your space. Putting a toddler into a shared sleeping situation is one thing, but what happens when the child gets older? Will you be willing to leave this home that you love, then? It would be awkward for an 8 year old to share a room with his/her parents and a mortified death for a teenager. They're not babies forever.
As for too small, I think you could squeeze some private space out of your 550 sq ft. for a bedroom, even a bed "pod". Share your floorplan. Privacy is very important to me, but that decision is completely personal and subjective.
Bah, too old. My father was your age when I was born, 30-something years ago. With any luck you will be as good a parent (and in a few months I presume, grandparent) as him. Good luck.
keep in mind your child may not want to cosleep, especially if s/he hasn't done so before - our baby (now 2) slept much better once he was on his own. he loves his crib and his room, and he can't stop wiggling in our bed. the toddlers we know have wildly varying temperaments and tastes. you just never know with kids - some are super easygoing, and some are very particular.
i don't think the square footage in itself is that much of a problem, although you will, no question, be very cramped. especially after a year or two, and with an older child.
with our son's personality, if we were in your situation, i think we would give the bedroom to our son, and invest in a good-quality sleeper sofa for the living area. that way, the kidstuff will have a proper home, and the adult sleeping area can remain (relatively) serene.
but - love and patience can go far - good luck to you!
You should consult the adoption laws in your state for an official answer to your space issue.
I went to several agency seminars in Boston, I remember one or two of them said we needed to have separate sleeping quarters for the child. That was some time ago and I dont recall if that was an agency or state law, or wether or not a room divider qualified.
Good luck!
joyce
That's my son in that picture. :)
We have a 1 bedroom that we are bursting out of right now and what we've done is put Matthew's crib at the foot of our bed and we also co-sleep for part of the night. He starts out in his crib and ends up in our bed. We are planning on a 2 bedroom apartment soon.
My husband's parents had a similar predicament, and what they did was make the bedroom the kid's room and made their living room their "bedroom" for after the kids went to bed - thanks to a pull-out couch. That's the only way it worked. They were in grad school housing at the time.
Wow - I deeply appreciate Maxwell highlighting my inquiry for a separate thread, and again for all the thoughtful, intelligent and honest responses. To all that took the time to respond - thank you so very much! It actually took me a little while to find my original post, but it was well worth the wait! With regards to adoption laws (international), we have been advised that our space is fine - just a curtain or divider is needed. It does seem that having a sleeping situation in our living room is the best solution, as does having a future plan to increase our space as baby/toddler grows. Liz, thank you for your personal story about having an older dad - there is nothing quite like a first person account for encouragement! I would love to share our floor plan - how to?? And to Maxwell, congratulations to you and your beautiful family on Oprah - how inspiring! We, too, are in love with our small space in a great neighborhood in Manhattan. Wishing you all much joy and good fortune !!
oops - apologies to Kristin, who deserves my appreciation and thanks for highlighting my post. In my excitement, I didn't see your post! Again, thank you for your encouragement and for sharing your adoption status! It really is all about love having no bounds in the end! Apartment Therapy is truly therapeutic!
(BTW - I would like to post some photos and a floor plan - is there a "how to" guide available?)