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My walls are paper thin too. Definitely put some stuff in the nursery like a rug and some heavy drapes... Neighbours will learn to ignore it in time and if they obsess it's because they have nothing better to do.

Tell them to mind their own business or move to another apartment. When you live in an apartment setting, you have to expect that it isn't going to be quiet as a lonely field in the middle of Nebraska. You don't have to accommodate such unreasonable demands. Enjoy your first baby and forget about foolish as*holes.

Ignore the looks. Your neighbors will get very bad karma, and wait until they have kids of their own.

I feel for you - this is a tough situation to be in. We were lucky with neighbors when our son was a baby in NYC.

The rugs are a great idea. Also fabric wall hangings like quilts hung on the wall can muffle sound - just be sure to clean regularly because of dust.

One thing I did? I visited my 3 neighbors with a case of earplugs and plate of cookies, thanked them for being understanding and reminded them that this "phase" of crying in the night would end soon. I went a little overboard but it totally worked - no dirty looks and only support.

Some babies just cry more than others - and it isn't because you and your wife are doing anything wrong. Try not to get too frustrated - you can make yourself crazy with all the techniques and books about rocking, shushing, bouncing, swaddling, etc. Focus what little energy you have right now on your daughter, who needs you, and not your neighbors, who are adults, and, frankly, can deal with it. BUT, a little over niceness to the neighbors couldn't hurt - then they'll feel guilty about being mean to you. Or, try some humor - take a picture of your daughter crying and post it in the lobby with a caption like - "A good cry always makes me feel better after a tough day at work."

Wasn't there some post a while back about parents making a homasote bullentin board? I remember reading it and thinking what a good idea, and of course, did nothing about it. But homasote is used in soundproofing, so maybe you could look that post up and make a huge bullentin board.

babies cry and dogs bark. it's a fact of life...if they don't like it, buy a house in the 'burbs.

remind your neighbors that, of all the people bothered by the crying, you and your partner are at the top of the list!

Ganapati , why bothered? Let as*holes be as*holes. Taking care of your child is a bigger priority than pleasing some unreasonable neighbor. What next? When the kid starts running around, we tie his legs to please the downstairs neighbor?

Yes, children will be children. But as someone who lives in a building with "quiet hours" that are specifically signed into our lease--if I had a neighbor with noisy children I would be annoyed.

I'm realistic, noise is a part of living in a dense urban area. But if you have a source of noise, be it a child or a barking dog, acknowledging the problem exists to your neighbors, apologizing for it as necessary, and mitigating it as possible are all courteous and responsible things to do.

Finding ways to mitigate non-preventable noise is neighborly, not unreasonable.

graphxgrrl, I'm glad you are not my neighbor. Try and sue someone over a baby's crying behavior during "quiet hours". Good luck. Get a life.

"quiet hours"? that's got to be the most annoying thing i've ever heard.

i'd much rather live in a building with a bunch of crying babies than in one with, well, a bunch of crying babies.

joeq,

quiet hours typically attempt to restrict loud music, hammering or using a jackhammer. They don't apply to crying babies, loud midnight sex or walking without taking off your clogs.

Oh I feel for you -I've been there/am there. Really, you neighbors need a life. What worked for me -get yourself some black out/insulated curtains (floor to ceiling). Then hang a rug on one of the walls (I did this with a curtain rod and clips attached to the rug) and behind it there should be a few inches with that space put up that cheap egg crate foam you can get at any fabric/home impovement place (this REALLY helps deaden sound). Another thing you can do that I'm not sure you do in America is add a hanging mosquito net over the crib (anchored to the ceiling). Good luck and hang in there -it does get easier.

Neighbors are people too! Find out what they drink and send a bottle over. There's nothing a good bottle of Scotch can't fix (for the neighbor not the baby).

As pp pointed out, just acknowledging there's an issue (any issue) goes a long way towards breaking the tension. Ask these neighbors for advice. Be it about the baby or about sounding proofing. People love being asked their option on something.

If anyone is reading this who is currently with child, stake out your neighbors now, don't wait till the wailing begins. Heck even if you don't have kids or a dog why not get to know your neighbors anyway.

I agree, communication and acknowledgement goes a really long way. We have to deal with this also. We limit the noise as much as we can (i.e., our older son knows that he isn't allowed to run or jump around on the floor in the evenings when our downstairs neighbor is home), but with our one year old it isn't always possible. Do what you can, don't worry so much about what you can't control.

I second the "communication and acknowledgment" point that others have raised. Believe it or not, my husband and I had a HOUSEMATE when our first child was born. (What can I say? It was a living arrangement that continued to work well for us post-university.) While I was pregnant, we had lots of upfront discussions with him about the fact that we'd make every effort possible to deal with nighttime crying, but that sometimes babies... well, babies cry. And just before our son was born, we gave him a bag full of industrial-grade earplugs and, yes, a bottle of hooch. :)

Fortunately, Sam's nighttime crying phase didn't last TOO long, and also fortunately, our housemate was a fairly deep sleeper, but we know there were nights when Sam disrupted his sleep, which we felt so bad about. Our housemate was a really nice guy and never complained, but still, we felt so guilty, which definitely added to the stress we already felt because, you know, our baby was screaming. So I can totally relate to your situation.

Maybe talking to your neighbours, as others have suggested, would help. And if it doesn't, well, screw 'em -- at least you can say you tried. They were all screaming babies once, too, and I'm sure their crying wasn't exactly music to anyone's ears.

But on a more practical note (and to address the original question), what about cork tiles on the ceiling and/or floor? Assuming that your nursery is small, it shouldn't be too expensive, and if you add a rug on top of that... well, at least nobody will be able to say you didn't try your damnedest.

When did I ever suggest suing? Hell, I don't even call the landlord (or the cops) on my neighbors who have loud parties after "quiet hours"--because I know who they are and we talk at other times, I can talk to them in person about my concerns and something can be worked out.

Children will cry. They will run around. I'd rather have a neighbor that came to me and said, "I'm sorry." than "Screw you." Who would you want to live with?

My point is is very much that as neighbors we should communicate and work together for a pleasant living experience. We all have a right to that whether we have children or not.

That's community, that's neighbors.

if you're looking to save money, i would hang quilts on the wall and buy flor tiles for the floor. they are much less expensive than area rugs of the same size and when little junior spits up all over them, they can be picked up and washed in the sink :)

hmm i find this all very strange! i have a child, and live in a condo, but i would never expect all of my neighbors to be up with me and my child every night. when they are ready for that, they will have kids of their own! of course you are obligated to do your best to try and keep the sound to a minimum and communicate with them. i am so blown away by all the people with their "screw the neighbors" attitude. if you don't want to have to be considerate of neighbors then it is you and not them that should "move to the burbs". weirdos.

hi, i was the one who originally posted the homasote bulletin board how-to, and although that may be a little more than you want to take on at this time in your lives, homasote's a pretty good and inexpensive soundproofing material. it's not attractive on its own, but you just drill it into some studs and throw some paint on there. it comes in 4'x8' sheets, and i think you need to go to an actual lumber supply place rather than home depot to find it.

good luck! i'm sure your neighbors will appreciate whatever efforts you make.

We have a bedroom wall that is shared with our double story family room. If one person is trying to sleep and the other is downstairs watching television the person in bed can hear everything. Solution = bookshelves on the shared wall. Books act as a great sound absorber. I can't hear a thing anymore. Also, a thick carpet with a pad.

I think you might also be able to put FLOR tiles on the wall with relative success.

If there are any walls sockets that are located on party walls, seal those up airtight with acoustical or silicon caulking, the type that will stay flexible when dry. Then remove the baseboards and seals any opening there with more caulking. The more caulking the merrier. If you can seal all the wall sockets and baseboards.

Like other people have suggested here, get the thickest throw down carpet with thick padding that will give 80% or more coverage. Make sure the crib is on the carpet.

You can also blow in cotton or mineral wool into the ceiling cavity.

If you want to go all out, I haver various soundproofing articles on my blog at http://soundproofingwithdave.com

There are so many great comments and ideas here - all worth doing or considering, in regard to communication, soundproofing etc.

An anecdote: Once upon a time, in an apartment building I lived in as a teenager, the downstairs neighbour who'd moved in a few weeks before complained about the sound of our dog walking around (on wall to wall padded and carpeted floors!) during the day when he was trying to work. In response to his note on our door, I transcribed his very loud night-time sexual escapade that night - word for word, grunt for grunt, including their finishing their night together with a spat - and left it for him. I'd been listening to him perform nightly for all that time, and had told my folks, and their response was "There are some things you pretend not to hear." I figured he opened the door on the topic of neighbourly noise, I just followed him through. He never complained again. Neither did we.

My point? If you've ever heard some noises, night time or otherwise, it might be the time to delicately and politely allude to them while acknowledging the crying as the above commenters suggested. Apartment noises are a two-way street - some are just better at pretending not to hear them than others.

cork is a good sound (and heat) insulator and could look great as a big wall sized bulletin board. also shelves with lots and lots of books will muffle sound.

I think all babies cry at least occasionally during the night and day, and neighbours should understand this.

However, my neighbours and houseguests have rarely been bothered by my babies because I take care of them in my bedroom where I can immediately tend to their needs and ensure their safety. Most humans do not like being by themselves at night, and babies are no exception.

Rather than worrying about your neighbours, perhaps you could put some energy into responding promptly to your babies' cries. Your baby is trying to communicate with you, the only way she knows how! If she is not hungry and won't settle down, make sure her diaper is dry, and take her for a walk in a baby carrier if all else fails.

I hate to hear a baby cry endlessly because it breaks my heart when parents do not attend to their needs.

absolutely agree with Sol and many of the other answers.
your neighbours just have to learn to live with the cries, and better get used to them because they get louder as your child will grow (you'll think a newborn's cry is music to the ears compared to the hysterical screeching of a two year old in full fledged tantrum mode!)
and i advise against sound proofing the room, if not your baby will grow accustumed to sleeping in a noise free environment only , which can cause big problems later on (aka holidays, nights out, sleeping over at grandparents/uncles houses).
maybe, if you have some time, bake them a cake as a peace offering, but don't let their nagging stress you.
if they dont' back down, send them a years supply of ear plugs!

On another practical note, have you tried the techniques in Karp's Happiest Baby on the Block? They can be very helpful for most babies.

I know how horribly stressful it is to live in this atmosphere and I am sorry for all of you. Here is my advice--do not sacrifice the wonder of this time to anyone for any reason. You will regret allowing this stress to color this time in your life. All babies cry and all parents need to sleep, worry less about your neighbors, more about your family. Your job is to take care of your baby, your neighbors can take care of themselves--that is not your job. I encourage you to do a few simple things to absorb more of the noise; taking some action might make a significant difference and will help you to believe that you are contributing to a solution for your neighbors. I would spend your energy enjoying your family and trying to relax about the complaints--I hate to tell you this but what is crying this year will be the early steps of your child next year. Babies cry and toddlers walk like elephants--it's the cycle of life. Get your thinking in order about this now so you don't waste precious time stressed out.

I totally stressed about soundproofing my son's room. My neighbors complained, ugh! It was awful. And then, guess what? They had a baby of their own two years later and said one day in passing, "Babies make so much noise! We had no idea!" Now they complain about the noises older kids make--I will always be two years ahead of them! I am sick that I have worried so much about my neighbors...my focus was in the wrong place. I know that now. Manage complaints as the come, be courteous, let them know you hear their concerns, but keep it in persepective. If cookies or beer seem in order, fine. When your baby cries let it be a signal to you to care for him/her and not to stress out because of your neighbor, you will be a better parent for keeping your focus on the well being of your family.

Please ignore the cruel comments by KBinBC. People who have easy babies simply do not understand how difficult it can be to have a child who does not respond to traditional comforting rituals. I'm sure you're doing everything you can to keep your baby content. I remember how our son screamed and kicked us nonstop when we tried to put him in bed with us. I still want to smack people who smugly claim that this is a universal solution. If there's any justice in the world, people who say such things will someday have a baby like ours. Our parents thought we were incompetent new parents until they spent a night with him and left thankful they hadn't killed him in frustration.

However, I don't think you should spent too much effort on this. I'd move in some bookshelves and hang up some quilts, hand out a few bottles of wine, and then get back to the baby. As a parent you'll have lots of opportunity to learn that some people just don't like kids, whether or not they're making noise.