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Depends on your school of thought, but I typically won't cater to the finicky. Make a whole other main dish in addition to all of the cooking you'll be doing? That is unreasonable. Even the pickiest kids should be able to find something, even if its just mashed potatoes or bread.

I agree - check with the parents for allergies, and, maybe as a courtesy let them know what you're planning for the meal - and about the timing. That way, they can bring something if they think they need to (hopefully that doesn't need to use any of your burners, microwave or oven time!). And the timing? Sometimes we're invited to a particular friend's house for dinner, for seven - and the food doesn't hit the table until nine.

Also, the fruit and cheese and crackers are great - I completely agree - but we hate it when our friends leave them out on the coffee table. When our daughter was younger, it was a spill and choking hazard, and poking with the toothpicks is still an issue; and now that she's older, she fills up on that and doesn't want to eat the meal.

It may sound like we expect our frequent hosts to be overly accommodating, and we've never complained - but it was and is a hassle to wrangle her around stuff like that. If we're the only other people over, and they specifically invite her too, and they've been through it with their kids themselves - it's just something I'm sensitive to, and try to remember for my own guests.

You are already being a great host to ask about this.

My toddler isn't a picky eater, per se, but he has his phases when he'll only eat certain foods. I'd never expect other people to accommodate this, so when he's going through a finicky spell, I'll bring food from home.

It's really nice of you to ask, though. And if you absolutely feel that, as a host, you MUST have something on standby for the picky kids, I'd just stock up on bread (for toast), yogurt, applesauce, raisins, and bananas. Those are good basic kid staples. And I agree with the first poster: every kid likes mashed potatoes, right?

Oddly enough, my two year old won't touch mashed potatoes (seriously) but adores broccoli. I think most Thanksgiving meals would provide plenty of variety for picky eaters to choose from, and it is also a good opportunity for the little ones to try new things they may not try at home. My daughter discovered cucumbers at a dinner party when she was going through a really picky stage, and they are still a favorite.

My five year old won't eat mashed potatoes anymore. Sigh. It used to be a favorite. I think he got sick one year after having them for dinner and he was forever scarred.

That said, I certainly wouldn't expect the host to make something special for my picky eater...if I was afraid there would be nothing he'd eat, I'd be sure to bring along some fruit and cheese or something that I know he can nibble on. If he can't find one of the many side dishes being offered, its his grumbly tummy he has to deal with.

I hate to say it, but...chicken nuggets. And ketchup. Apparently this is what my nephews survive on. There is not a single thing on a typical (bland, conventional) Thanksgiving menu that they will eat. Not even the mashed potatoes.

I'm not advocating this route of total capitulation as a general rule, but...

I think the key is simple, and nothing mixed together or sauce topped. Applesauce, bread/rolls, cheese, some fresh individual veggies (carrots and broccoli do well here), fruit, mashed potatoes, turkey (both without gravy on top). That should be fine for most kids to find something they'll eat.

Veggies I recommend fresh ones that can be easily steamed in the microwave. Sauce-topped anything, either frozen or homemade, tend not to do so well with kids in my experience. But raw veggies can be eaten raw (for those like my daughter who hate mushy texture), steamed in the microwave, or in minutes be made into cheese topped for those who love cheese (grate cheese on top, microwave). The no-gravy thing is the same as the no-veggies-in-sauce. Do it separately and kids will choose with or without.

"Sauce-topped anything, either frozen or homemade, tend not to do so well with kids in my experience."

And yet put that very same sauce in a separate small dish and call it a dip, and kids will go nuts for it. Go figger. (This also holds true of grated cheese, sunflower seeds, croutons, or any other topping.)