With our own daughter's first birthday rapidly approaching, this article really resonated with us. Is there a graceful way to inform people about the possible toxins in toys today?
"Birthday Bash Becomes Toxicology Class"
Healthy Child, Healthy World.com
The author of this article suggests that it may be a good time to spread the word and also learn to be a strong advocate of your child even if certain relatives or friends think you're overreacting or being overprotective. A list of ways to do that:
"- Tell your friends and family that you appreciate their generosity and desire to share in your child’s life.
- Encourage them to give less material gifts, and instead to give the gift of their time, attention and love, which have a lasting positive impact on your child’s social-emotional development.
- Invite them to invest in your child’s future through a contribution to a college savings account.
- Provide simple information – many children’s products are made using harsh chemicals like phthalates and bisphenol-A or heavy metals like lead, arsenic, and mercury that pose a serious threat to children and toy manufacture worker’s health.
- Share web-based resources (ex. http://www.healthtoys.org) so gift-givers can learn about the chemicals used in the toys they are considering for purchase.
- Provide gift-givers with a list of companies that are committed to using non-toxic materials (we recommend several phthalate free companies including LEGO, BRIO, Gerber, Little Tykes and others), sustainable or recycled materials (Plan Toys uses recycled rubberwood and non-toxic paints), and third-party testing (Melissa and Doug) to aid in their gift purchasing decisions."
Personally, we created a wish list for our daughter but didn't include it on the invite or anything. If grandma's friends or anyone else asks us what she might like, we direct them to the list. Hopefully this will help a little bit. Nonetheless there will still be toys that we probably wouldn't have chosen. We'll accept them politely.
Photo via Pregnancy and Newborn Mag.
Comments (11)
Top Tours
- Layla's Small-but-Stylish Aviary
- Baby Daley's Room-to-Be
- Scarlett's Sensational Secondhand Space
- E's Room
- Belinda's Shared Nursery/Bedroom
Top Posts
Past Events
© 2010 Apartment Therapy
we use this as an oppurtunity to teach our daughter about the importance of sharing - rather than specify what kind of toys we would like to get which seems somewhat spoiled and pretentious (nothing from china please) we simply keep the ones we consider appropriate and donate the rest. she is learning to "pay it forward" on gift getting days (like her birthday and christmas) with the added bonus of not having as many toys around.
view mellow yellow design's profile
I don't know about this...I grew up with toys with all of the dangerous choking hazards and toxic materials and I'm perfectly fine. I think parents today tend to over-react to 'dangers' that are very, very minimal. Why I wouldn't mind telling people that we're having a gift-free birthday party, lecturing people about 'dangerous' toys and materials is a tad obnoxious.
For anyone who agrees with me, I have a great book for you: Free-Range Kids: http://www.amazon.com/Free-Range-Kids-Children-Freedom-Without/dp/0470471948/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1251996976&sr=8-1
Let's let our kids be kids!!
view cwiz24's profile
i just try to discourage gifts or if people really want to give something, i suggest consumable things (like art supplies), an activity or membership to something (if it's someone who likes to spend more money, like grandparents).
i don't feel like explaining to someone how the toys they let their children play with are horrible, and actually . . . i'm not that strict about it myself. like m.y.d. we pass a lot of things along, although i usually let my kids play with it for a bit until the magic wears off. and there are some "bad" toys we love.
view doubledutch's profile
Personally, I think it would be rude to recommend a healthy toys website or suggest specific gifts. If we receive a gift that we either already have, or isn't our style, we either pass it to a friend who would like it, re-gift it, or donate it.
I never ever hint at gift preference.
view modern on long island's profile
Other than explicitly saying "no gifts please" I have found this hard to get around. Even after I opened my own store to carry safer, more eco-friendly toys (www.NonToxicTots.com) I still get plenty of mass-produced plastic toys from family members. They don't get it at all despite my efforts to educate them.
I politely accept all gifts. Sometimes I return what I can or let the grandparents keep them at their house. We keep some of them too, but I try to limit them.
view mama k's profile
I think setting up a wish list for close friends and family (especially grandparents) would be OK, but I wouldn't put it or other gift-buying info. on the party invite. Especially for the first birthday, I would go gift-free. I'm encouraged that people (at least one, Mellow Yellow Design) are able to convince their older kids that they don't need all the stuff they get at birthdays/holidays and hope that I have some luck on that point in the future!
view LaneC's profile
Unless someone asks for suggestions, it's rude to give a list of what you consider to be acceptable gifts. If someone gives your child a toy you consider to be inappropriate, whether because of toxicity concerns, maturity levels, or sociological questions (my daughter will never have a Bratz doll), the polite thing to do is thank the giver and either return the toy, regift it, or donate it. It's a gift, it's not a request or a payment.
view Pencils's profile
LaneC - you will get there!!!
My grandmother started it - every birthday and Christmas we had to go through our toys and give up one thing -aka "make room" - before we could accept our gift from her, starting at a young age. It became habit, and still is!
view mellow yellow design's profile
I tried this with my family and they thought it was rather humorous and still bought my daughter gifts that they would prefer to give her. I agree with others that you can teach your child about graciously accepting gifts (or eating "different" food at a friends, or other customs when out and about). We say thanks, and then when the party is over, check out the item and donate it if we feel it is inappropriate. Unless it will be in my daughter's mouth, all over her skin, or exposed to heat I try not to get too concerned. As a result we have a nice mix of traditional and eco-friendly toys.
view treber's profile
There are always going to be people who will want to be informed of your "weird" rules (a sympathetic grandma, for instance, or a sister-in-law who is on the same page as you), and people who will laugh at best and take offense at worst. You have to use wisdom when sharing this kind of information so you aren't being rude.
cwiz24, I love Lenore's book Free Range Kids! It's a great way to look at balancing being over protective with using wisdom.
view theambershow's profile
Hello Julia,
I wanted to let you know that this blog was posted incorrectly. While we appreciate the link back to the original article, the organization's name is Healthy Child Healthy World and our website is healthychild.org.
Could you please correct this post with the appropriate attribution?
Many thanks,
Emily Ion
Communications and Outreach Associate
Healthy Child Healthy World
view Emily Ion's profile