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I saw a little group of five year old girls go in to have a hair/makeup/mani/pedi party at a local kids hairdressers. I thought it was a bit sad that the party was clearly just for girls and wondered if they had any little boys as friends. Then again I have two boys! Our parties are held at our house or in the backyard and we invite friends of all ages and both sexes. We have my kids toys to play with, good friends, balloons and cake. Isn't that all they really need?

I moved to Dallas from Chicago at the age of 17, and I was shocked when so many girls at my university considered manicures, pedicures, professionally colored hair and fake tans to be as "necessary" to personal grooming as wearing deodorant or washing your face.

I can also remember being floored years ago when I heard about someone's daughter with fake nails and highlighted hair at the age of 10.

Seventeen years later, most salons in Dallas seems to offer child discounts, and I think my 9-year-old niece has gotten more manicures than I have. (It's a popular trend for birthday parties down here.)

I don't have a problem with manicures and pedicures done in good fun -- but I hate the thought that it is one more pressure she may face.

I didn't realize it was getting to be common outside of this area of the country. . .

not hot. not hot at all. i love when kids pretend, play dress up, tea parties, hey i am even for all girls or all boys parities. but this trend isnt a fun one. i would like for these girls to wait till they are older to appericiate this time of woman hood. i am all for painting nails and poofing up the hair. but not all about the extream levels its taken too. most of the girls that are having this done are also in dance class. and i truly am dissapointed in what adults are teaching our kids and calling it dancing. more like stripers in training.

Sounds like a pretty expensive party to me! Seems to me that kids would have a lot more fun painting each others nails, and would at least be using their own creativity!

My six-year-old son will not let me cut his claw-like toenails unless I also agree to paint them (dark metallic blue with an overlay of iridescent sparkles; he is good at standing up to bullies), but I think a fun mom/dad/or older sib-done mani/pedi at home is far more appropriate for the younger set (since when is FIVE "tween"). I think a creative fashion show that includes inspired dress up, spray-on hair color, face-paintings/make-up and manis or pedis for any takers boy or girl sounds like a great at-home party that would inspire creativity and imagination. A salon party sounds like it would inspire consumerism, superficiality, and conformity.

P.S. Have been in a salon in my corner of the world (New Orleans) that has special kid pedicure chairs with headrests shaped like Hello Kitty!

this is all part of a culture that thinks its "cute" and "fun" to sexualize our little girls. I put this in that category of letting my 4 year old daughter to wear pants that say "Juicy" across the butt. Then parents wonder why their kids are having sex at such a young age.

i thought "tween" meant ages 9 or 10 to 12. like, almost a teen. in that case, i think it would be fine (although, as the mom, my kid's mani/pedi party would happen at home for almost free).

reef1, i'm also a mom of two boys. the only way they'll agree to getting their nails trimmed is if i'm going to paint them too. i never wear nail polish, so when people see their painted nails and ask if they were "helping mommy do her toenails" my boys look at them like they're crazy!

I read the link and it says that 43% of six to nine year olds wear lipstick. Can that possibly be true? The article says this is not about playing dress up, but rather that cosmetics are being marketed to children.

I find this so depressing. And I agree with okdoki about sexualizing children. It's creepy.

What are they saying: kids need to be concerned about their nails at age five... I hope my kids still have grubby nails from playing in the garden and arting and crafting at that stage. Not to mention I would rather my girls were at a soccer party actually playing instead of sitting in a salon being dead bored. Yeah it is cute when kids pretend to be grown-up but this is trying to make them live grown up too. Just not cool at all.

I think this is gross. I'm betting that these salons use the standard salon nail polish which is filled with harmful chemicals. Covering up growing breathing body parts (i.e., nails) with a non-porous paint is icky and will likely lead to acne (in the case of makeup).

That said, I do like the idea of kids playing pretend, and dress up and stuff like that. But it's more fun when it's pretend. When you actually get to go to a nail salon (instead of playing pretend nail salon with buckets of water and paintbrushes and imagination) what's the fun in that?

I put this in the same category of enticing our children to be more grown up than they are. Like the stripper dance classes and the sexy children's clothing, I find this to be in poor taste and undesireable.

Agree with all the previous comments.

When I was small (under ten) I do remember having Bonne Bell "lip glosses" and peelable nail polishes. The nail polish was strictly for play and not to be worn out of the house and the "lip gloss" was basically Chapstick. Here's hoping that 43% figure includes that kind of thing.

I have fond memories of watching TV with my grandmother while we soaked our fingers in Palmolive and she taught me how to use an orange stick. She also taught me it was ridiculous to pay someone else to paint my nails.

I think that if it is used as a special occasion type thing, then why not?
There is much more to a mani/pedi than just painting one's nails - in many other cultures it is much more common to receive spa services on a more regular basis.

That being said, I don't allow my daughter to wear makeup - I don't even like lipgloss. I would rather that she wear professional makeup when the time comes, instead of the cheap stuff that is marketed to girls her age.

I think that a treat like having a spa service is something for her to look forward to. Having a taste of it when she is young will help to teach her to take care of herself and hopefully she will get a job when she is old enough, and keep it up. There is nothing wrong with working hard and rewarding yourself. Of course it is not a necessity - but I want her to want to work hard enough in life to afford life's luxuries.

OK, I also thought tween meant kids around 10-11 years old. Mine are very small still, so I haven't had to use the word yet.

If it does mean 10-11 year olds, I actually think this is kind of OK. I guess it all depends on how you frame it. For me, as for most of the women I know, the occasional mani-pedi is a treat, a way of pampering yourself. If you frame it as "a day of relaxation at the spa," I think you could actually be encouraging something nice. I don't know; maybe I'm naive, but I feel like if done right, it could be tasteful and nice for the kids (both girls and boys).

The small town salon I go to and love offers mani/pedi parties for little girls. I think the idea is cute and a lot of fun, and I would have absolutely loved it when I was little! But the way the ladies at my salon present the party keeps it fun and innocent, just an evening of playing dress-up and being girly. When it's kept in that context I have no problem with it. However, when it's taken out of proportion like the previous commenters have mentioned, I find it extremely tacky.

As long as the Tween gents are having their first "My First Lap Dance Party" in the next room, is see no harm in the little Sex in the City wannabes getting buffed and polished.

Hmmm. Patrick, I think your logic is flawed. You assume that someone getting a mani-pedi is somehow interested in a lifestyle presented on Sex in the City. Furthermore, your analogy to the boys having a "Lap Dance Party" implies that somehow the girls are getting a spa treatment for the sake of the men and that it is somehow sexual.

While women certainly work to enhance their appearance for men, this does not mean that there are no other reasons for such an activity. I have gotten many pedicures, and I can honestly say (and this is reinforced, I believe, by the choice of clear polish) that it is a means of pampering MYSELF and doing something for myself (which, frankly, many women do not do as they are usually taking care of other people). I think this is a fine thing to encourage in young women, and I think your interpretation of the event is cynical and sad.

Well, it's painfully clear that regular pedicures do nothing for one's sense of humor.

I don't think saying what they do in other cultures is a valid argument. Plenty of cultures do things we consider barbaric, simply being from somewhere else means nothing.

Anyway, actual tweens (10-12, not 5 and 6) at home doing each other is fine. I just don't understand the need to over feminize girls. The post about Tori Spellings nurseries, the boys one was blue but nice, the girls was like she bought out the entire world supply of pink, shoved it in there and slammed the door so that none of it came out!

Of course, now I have three boys, whatever difference that makes.

Also, I used to dance and to this day (I'm 32) I only wear make-up if I'm going to some sort of event, the amount and style depends on the event. Honestly, I don't think you can blame dance for this, most dancers only wear make up on stage. Especially in the south (I cop to a certain amount of ignorance to this as I'm in Canada), I'd hazard a guess that pagents are a much larger culprit. Make up, fake hair, fake teeth?!?!?!? On toddlers!!

LOL, Patrick. Believe it or not, I do actually have a sense of humor. And I don't get regular pedicures.

Some of the comments struck a nerve because they felt sexist to me in a way that I can't exactly put my finger on. I clearly did not do a good job conveying that :).

You put a lot of content between my lines.

The "spa treatment for the sake of men" was totally your jump, not mine.

And I didn't mean anything sexual by mentioning Sex In the City, believe it or not.

For an actual party I see nothing wrong with it but to go every week and make perfect nails part of an everyday regimen is a little much.

HA at patrick (the other one) too. Some of you all are wayyy over the top.

If it is done for a giggle, for dress-up, only once in a blue moon, then I think it can be okay. For my daughter, it is all about applying pretty colours to her toes -- all the different nail polish pinks, purples, glitters, metallics, pearls and so on are just mesmerizing for her. I've done her toes exactly once -- painted them pink with a daisy on one. But she has only had her toes done the once.

What I find disturbing is how the 9 yr old daughter of a friend almost always has manicured nails and toes, always with polish. I find it jarring, as well as disturbing, because she also "acts" very grown-up, along with her nails.

I'm all for keeping kids kids, and thankfully, my daughter would much rather be climbing a tree or skiing.

I agree with the majority over here. I have a 4 y.o daughter and I polish her toe nails occationally. In pink. I think girls learn to want/'need' these things based on what they see their mother do. I hardly primp myself up beyond the necessary, and I think my daughter takes that as the norm. Setting this type of salon mentality for little girls is crazy! They are going to grow up to be the kind of women who want and expect to be served, not knowing what real life is all about. I mean look at 90% of all the other women in the world. Do they have these luxuries?

i would find this far less offensive if it was little girls doing each other's nails. i am more concerned with furthering the idea that one must be pampered all the time, or furthering the idea that one must pay money to do this regularly.

but i suppose like anything, there is a responsible way to have this party and an irresponsible way.

a spa 'pampering' is about steam, relaxation, massage, cleanliness -- a good foot cleaning and nail cutting is lovely for all of us humans... as soon as the nail polish comes out, it's about make-up.

i feel that the message given with the encouragement of any make-up augmentation is that, "for special occasions you are not good enough just as you are."

not hot. for big girls either.

HOT-if it's just a party. If my 6 year old wanted her bday party to be her and a couple little girl friends getting their nails painted, I'd totally go for it. It's just a fun way to play dress up and do something special.

NOT HOT- if it becomes a mani/pedi habit. a mani/pedi monthly ritual. I am definitely NOT for encouraging my children to feel entitled to luxurious or unnecessary things.

so not hot. Our office manager's granddaughter had one of these parties in Atlanta, and after the girls were all made-up they took them to a back room, dressed them in heels and dresses and had them strut down a cat walk!!!

disgusting.

midwifejill--I think that's a different thing. Are you talking about those places (I don't know what they're called) where very little girls (like 4-8) go and get dressed up and have their hair and makeup done, and then dress up in very adult clothes and have a "fashion show"? I also find that creepy and extremely disturbing. My understanding is that we are talking about something totally different here.