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Blogging The Washington Post: Marriage and Children Viewed Separately

2007-07-02-marriage.jpg

Children not required. An article on the front page of the WSP yesterday summarized a new national survey asking Americans to rank a list of factors contributing to a successful marriage.

Although children rank as the highest source of personal fulfillment for parents, respondents did not see them as key to a successful marriage.

In fact, only 41% of respondents cited children as a very important factor for a successful marriage, a 24% drop from 1990.

 
 

This makes children second from the bottom, ahead only of agreement on politics, in a list of 9 contributing factors. What factors were cited as more important to a successful marriage than children? Faithfulness, happy sexual relationship, sharing household chores, adequate income, good housing, shared religious beliefs, and shared tastes and interests.

The article discusses theories as to why children as a factor is ranked so low. Do you agree with the survey results?

(pic via Ocean City Wedding Minister)

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Comments (6)

Perhaps I am further proof of the WSJ report, but I simply don't see how children can be the "key" to a successful marriage. Children are often the reason behind marriage, but that doesn't by any means indicate that the marriage is successful. Children are human beings and the other "keys" to a successful marriage are attitudes & states of being, so of course they are more important to a successful marriage...

posted by Green Me on July 2nd 2007 at 5:37am
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On that note... A couple that has "faithfulness, happy sexual relationship, sharing household chores, adequate income, good housing, shared religious beliefs, and shared tastes and interests" will probably have fun raising a child together, if children are what they want to do.

A couple that is cranky about sex, divides household chores to no one's satisfaction, feels financially strapped, can't afford decent housing, disagrees angrily on religion, and lacks common interests will not suddenly become happy and fulfilled by injecting a baby into the mix. The baby will provide more reasons to argue about why the wife doesn't want sex any more, why the apartment is too small, whether and how Baby will be baptized or whatever, and who's spending too much scarce money on selfish projects.

posted by wende in the twin cities on July 2nd 2007 at 6:15am
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It's interesting that this list doesn't include what I think is most important in my marriage: emotional intimacy. I feel like I can tell my husband my innermost doubts and fears and that he listens and vice versa. I really feel like this sensitivity to each other's needs and feelings bonds us together more than anything else, but I also understand that this is not a priority in many marriages (like for my in-laws, and they seem pretty happy with what they have. Part of me sees this as a generational shift though).

We don't yet have a baby. We'd like one at some point, but I think our marriage will be strong even if we never have kids.

posted by Eliza on July 2nd 2007 at 6:49am
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Its true kids are not the key to a good mariage, they tend to amplify what's already there, making a good marriage much better and sometimes making bad marriages worse -though not always

posted by Sofia on July 2nd 2007 at 9:14am
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I keep seeing this article everywhere as if it's surprising - I'm so grateful that people are starting to think this way - a nuclear family isn't a straight-shot to happiness - find a partner you love and can work with first!

posted by Monkeyme on July 2nd 2007 at 10:12am
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Having been both married with children and a single mom, I can say without a doubt, children are not required for a happy marriage. My marriage was happy right up until the minute I had kids. It's not having them that makes the marriage successful -- it's how you deal with them together after you have them that can make or break a marriage.

posted by MEP on July 2nd 2007 at 10:19am
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