apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Here's a question for 1-bedroom-ers. How do you cultivate some personal space in your small apartment? I feel like most of the time, we live in good harmony but every once in a while, it can feel a little claustrophobic, especially since I also work from home. Anyone dealing with something similar? I think the issue is as much mental as physical. I'd love to hear how you approach this aspect of small-space family life.

That's when I take a long bubble bath!

lb - did you ever make blanket tents/forts as a kid? it sounds kind of silly, but it still works as an adult to give yourself some private space. it kind of gives you that whole "i can't see them so i can pretend they're not there" feeling. i find the building of the tent to be a sort of productive 'zen' task and the end result is a space i can hang out in with a book or to just think.

We live in a "loft" like space and are expecting our first in January. Right now we are contemplating if we need to make a closed off, private, space for the baby. It is definitely a possibility, but we are not sure if it is necessary. Thoughts?

wp, a newborn can sleep through anything (mine slept through the jackhammer repair of the elevator on our floor), but once they are older and sleeping through the night, having a dark, quiet space will really facilitate that. You don't necessarily need an actual wall, but certainly once he/she's a toddler, you will definitely want to cut down on bedtime visual stimulation. If s/he can see you, s/he'll be standing up in her crib calling your name.

wp- I would recommend you to make a quiet, dark-able space for the baby, because sometimes darkness and silence come in handy when you have an overexcited baby. Besides, babies sleep a lot, and you may want to make good use of her nap time without having to fear waking her up...

My husband and I are considering a move that would require us to (happily) scale-down from a 2 BR townhome to live in a much smaller space. We have a 3.5 year old daughter who really likes having her own space. For various reasons, we are looking at 1 bedroom apartments, if only for a year or so. How do people with children usually manage this? Does everyone share the bedroom? We really think our daughter would manage better in the bedroom. She likes to spend time in her room and knows that it is her own space. Do parents generally sleep in the living area? In a bed, on a pull-out couch or a futon?

Sorry I seem kind of naive/green about this whole thing, but I am currently living in an area where our 2-bedroom townhome with a full basement is considered small! Thanks in advance!

lb: I have similar concerns. I have a 1,350 sq ft loft and my GF is supposed to begin sharing it with me in January. I'm scared as heck. There is absolutely no privacy.

WE're in a one bedroom and less than 650 sq ft.

Here's how we cope:
- We all share the bedroom though our daughter has her own small bed.
- Her bedtime is early (7 p.m.), so the adults have the whole evening to themselves (and the kitchen and living room to themselves during that time).
- Each of the adults goes out one evening a week. That means one person gets a much needed outing; the other gets some solitude.
- There are play areas in both the bedroom and the living room.
- Our daughter spends very little time at home while I work. Even before she started going to preschool several mornings a week, her Father took her on daily adventures out and about.

BTW, most children on the planet probably sleep in the same room as their families; there is no universal, developmental need for one's own bedroom. In fact, our 3.6 year old did ask us once, when coming back from a playdate in a mansion, why the other kid's parents didn't want their children to sleep with them.

I forgot to mention (though it may have been obvious) that I work from home, too. (My desk is in the living room closet; believe it or not, it has a tiny window.)

1350 square feet would be plenty of space for all of us! I am talking about 550 sq ft railroad. But I guess if you are used to having 1350 to yourself, sharing it would seem like a big change.

MamaC--thanks for the suggestions. I'm not concerned that my daughter needs her own space--it is I who selfishly wants more to my very own, you know? I do my work at the kitchen table. Hello, Virgina Woolf????? I am totally considering Molly's idea of making a tent. One of our big problems is the layout of our apt (long and narrow) because the only room that is actually private is the bathroom. The bedroom is adjacent to the living room with french doors opening into it.

BP09... we co-sleep with our daughter, but she in only a year old. We have a pack-n-play, but are considering getting a toddler bed to put along side our bed in a few months. Can you fit your bed and hers in the bedroom?

Thanks for the comments & suggestions. We co-slept, as well, for a little over a year but since transitioning to her own bed/room, our daughter seems to really love it, both for play as well as sleep. She sleeps in a full-size bed now, but that is mainly because we inherited it from my sister. I would have likely tried a toddler or twin bed if the full set had not been free and in great condition. Getting a smaller bed for her is, of course, an option that we can consider.

Also, our daughter is a very heavy sleeper, so I don't think all of us sleeping in the room together would be a big deal for her. I suppose, not unlike lb, I want a tiny space to call my own.

Thanks again.

Funny you should mention the kitchen. Our kitchen table has become my boyfriend's "office." When we're both home in the evenings, he often sits there to read and then I have the living room all to myself ;-)

Another tip: We've turned part of our long hallway into a play area, too, by affixing a magnetic whiteboard down low and setting up magnetic letters and shapes. (We're actually thinking of painting the whole hallway with magnetic paint...) Otherwise, the hallway would just be empty, wasted "transition" space.

As for a bed: My daughter is tall for her age (too tall for a toddler bed) but we couldn't fit a twin bed in the bedroom. So we got one of the Ikea junior beds. They are an in-between size... as narrow as a crib mattress, but much longer. The bed is the exact same size as our walk-in closet and we've toyed with the idea of turning it into a sleeping nook and getting a wardrobe for our clothes (especially if we ever have another kid).