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We are snooze-button co-sleepers. If it is after 5:30 a.m., and I think Madame will sleep another 15 or 30 minutes if I bring her to bed with us, that's what I do. Before 5:30 a.m., forget it.

I am a co-sleeper all the way. I love to snuggle with my little baby all night. But I won't lie sometimes I wake up with a backache.

Ditto to Nicolej!

We co-slept (unplanned) until Felix was 9 months. I loved it. Definitely worked well with breastfeeding. Then our bed just got too small for three of us and we transitioned him over to his own bed. Now we sleep separately, except, like the reader above, in the early morning. We are slowly working on weaning (at 22 months) and all that seems to be left is the early morning nursing. We love that extra 30 minutes of snooze time.

I think for the next baby I would like to get a side-car co-sleeper. As much as it was great to sleep together, Felix had a hard time learning to fall asleep on his own and sleep all night long. But who knows how much of that was personality, or first-time parent syndrome, or co-sleeping, or something else.

co-sleeping is nice but what about you and your partners alone time? not to mention your child gaining a sense of their own space and independence?

your children are not going to feel abandoned or that you dont love them because you make them sleep alone. i do not judge the parents who co-sleep. everyone has their own reasons and methods that work for them. i just know that in my household, everyone tucked tight into their own beds at night, works great for us.

im with cmcinnyc, if its a morning time co-sleeping situation, im all for it. i dont view the fact that i dont co-sleep with my child as me being selfish for wanting a good-night sleep.

i know that in the beginning, co-sleeping is helpful with breast feeding, but even still, i'd put my child in the bassinet or a side sleeper.

We co-sleep- & we have a king size bed which really helps.... We're moving and we will all have more space. Fingers crossed we'll all be tucked in our own beds as baby is now almost 18 months!

For the first few weeks, I plan to keep our baby in a bassinet. But we'll move to the crib shortly after. My cousin is still sleeping with her 16 month old and her marriage is suffering as a result. I'd rather keep my hubby happy, so that my child has two parents when all is said and done....and not just one.

We've co-slept since our son was born, and still do. He is now three and we can't imagine it being any other way. I'm not worried about getting him out of our bed because he knows it's not his bed; even he calls it the "big people bed."

There is no problem with his independence or confidence either. He's one of the most independent boys I know. He has his own bed and has slept there several times on the nights he says he's a "big boy now".

The funny thing is, the times he's slept in his room it's actually my husband and I who lay awake at night missing him!

I have two sisters and my mother always tells me how she's surprised and happy that I (I'm the youngest one in my family) have chosen to do things the way she did and to which she refers to as the old-fashioned way (I nursed, used a sling and co-slept. My sisters didn't). I've never been a closeted co-sleeper. I've never hid it from my family or friends. All of my friends and family know how strongly I feel about Attachment Parenting and I wholeheartedly recommend the Family Bed -- but I am an even firmer believer in whatever works for each family.

I'm also fortunate enough to have a pediatrician that recommends nursing, natural birth, co-sleeping, wearing a sling and all of the things that our family does, so I haven't had to worry about any pressure coming from that area.

nicolej and exxon23 - to prevent the co-sleeping backache I totally recommend sleeping with a pillow supporting your back. It makes a world of difference!

We're co-sleepers, and I co-slept with my parents. I also co-slept with my partner for 10 years prior to becoming mothers.
j13ward, I know my 15 month old would feel abandoned if we made her sleep alone right now. She needs to nurse at night, and she needs her mamas close by, which is developmentally normal. Some babies are ready to give that up much sooner, some much later. She will develop nighttime independence when she is ready.
Co-sleeping feels like the right thing for our whole family, not just the baby. It's not being selfish to not want to co-sleep, nor is choosing to co-sleep indulgent for the baby or damaging for the parents' relationship (if it is mutually agreed upon). It also maximizes the sleep for our family, so perhaps co-sleeping is actually the selfish choice? It's all about what feels right for the family. It's nice that co-sleeping is starting to be less stigmatized.

I co-sleep when my baby is sick or when we are not at home. Otherwise, he sleeps soundly and without protest in his crib in his room. And mom and dad are still husband and wife and not only mom and dad.
I totally agree with j13ward ... my 7 month old will not feel abandoned or not loved because he sleeps alone.

Alex, I cross-posted with you. :) We've also been open about co-sleeping and lots of our friends co-sleep with their children.
PrettyKitty, the key with adult relationships and co-sleeping as a family is for everyone to be on the same page.

my husband and i have both agreed that when our newborn shows up (please let it happen SOON!!!!!!!!) that we'll be co-sleeping. we decided on it mostly because of how beneficial we think it will be to our decision to breastfeed, and that we think it will be better for our chance of fewer sleepless nights since baby will have its feeding source so darn close. at this point we have no idea how long it will last...we'll see how the baby takes to it, evaluate in a few months and so on. our only concern was about us rolling into the baby when it's so little, so we ended up getting a Peaceful Pea co-sleeper (after it was featured on AT) ...basically a pillow that's harder on three sides and open to me on the other side. if baby doesn't like, then we have a moses bassinet it can sleep in...or for when it takes naps.

i've never been into the idea of co-sleeping but also am all for everyone making their own decisions. the funny thing is that our baby has never slept with us in the same bed yet my husband routinely wakes in the middle of the night and thinks that his extra pillow is the baby! he internally freaks out that "he's crushing her" then realizes that she's in her own bed and goes back to sleep :)

i breastfeed (she's 7 months) but we have dropped night feeding and we're on a regular routine from the baby whisperer (which i love!) i've been teaching her independent sleep techniques since she was 6 weeks old, and now i just put her in her crib with her lovie, kiss her good night, burp her if she needs it, and she rolls over and goes to sleep.. and sleeps through too! did i mention how much i love the baby whisperer techniques? ;)

My husband tosses and turns like a whale, and my baby has always been a supper wiggly baby, sleeping or not. I have never been able to sleep on the same bed with her ever since she was born, not even for a nap (I got used to my hubby's tossing, but at least when he does so I don't have to be paranoid that he's crushing Peanut). Even if I would, I'm not a natural candidate for co-sleeper. Peanut slept in her own bassinet, and then cot ever since she was born, until now. Now at 19 month, we can't even bring jer to bed with us for a Sunday nap without her giggling around, pinching our noses, making pretend snoring sounds, like the whole thing was such a fun game. She's a very active child, but bless, she's a great sleeper in her own bed.

We never co-slept, but then again our little one never slept if we were there next to him. We give him his pacifier (something I'm not exactly thrilled about, but it's not that terrible), kiss him goodnight, he rolls over (himself), tucks his knees under his tummy and is out cold for the next 9-10 hours. He's been doing this since he was about 7 weeks old. We tried to let him nap in our bed a few times but he would not have it. Only in his bed, or playpen (if we're traveling). We can have the door open and make a ton of noise and he'll sleep through it if he's in his crib. I'm thankful everyday that we can put him to sleep and have an hour or two to ourselves, even if it it's just to watch the news.

I'll come into his room some mornings to find him talking to his mobile and just smiling away. I think he kind of enjoys his "alone" time.

I loved co-sleeping with my baby for the past fifteen months. I loved feeling his warm little body next to mine, being able to stick him on if he woke up and needed to nurse. As lb pondered above, for me it was partly a selfish decision because it meant I didn't have to wake up fully when B needed to nurse.

However, B never was able to learn how to fall asleep on his own and sleep more than three hours at a time. So we have moved him into the crib (still in our room - it's a one bedroom), and it is working well. Kid has slept ten hours straight two of the last three nights. He has never, ever done that. I miss him in my bed, but it is better for B and the family that he learns how to sleep.

As for having a good marriage - my husband and I have a weekly "date night" where we get out the pull out couch and spend some time together. (I hope that is not too much information). Who says intimacy has to be in the bedroom? That works for us right now since we just have the one kid who goes to bed pretty early. Who knows what will happen when he is older, but we'll figure that out.

I think cosleeping in a family not only depends on the parents' disposition, but also the baby's. Some kids like being alone, are more introverted, and would not feel abandoned. Others do not. My 2yo is majorly social. He HATES being alone, day or night. We've partially coslept his entire life. (Elizabeth Pantley _The No-Cry Sleep Solution_ talks about safe ways to cosleep for those concerned about safety.) I've encouraged him to nap and to start the night out in his own bed (which is a twin, so I snuggle with him there until he's asleep). This also allows some 'alone' time for hubby and me--as one commenter above mentioned. He usually wakes up once in the night, and he either comes in bed with us, or I join him in his bed. It's worked out well. And I really cherish those quiet moments with him. (And when we were b'feeding, it was SOOOOOOOO much easier!!!!!!!!!!!!)

We were unplanned cosleepers, but couldn't be happier about it now. We used a bassinet for the first 4 months, but our daughter wasn't satisfied in the bassient and wouldn't sleep very long there, so we started co-sleeping so we could ALL get some sleep. Once she started to get mobile, we transitioned her to her crib, but neither she nor I were very happy about it. She takes her naps there and begins her evenings there, but usually ends up in bed with me halfway through the night (I have a bed next to her crib). I tried to move her to her crib permanently, but I couldn't sleep! Everyone's happier this way and I feel great about being so close to her. Even dad gets some co-sleeping in when I'm at work and they both decide to nap. And while some believe that it doesn't harm their children to cry it out, or that they don't feel abandoned or hurt, no one really knows how they feel since they can't tell us. For our family, we feel a closer connection with our daughter, and believe that she is a much happier baby from co-sleeping.

This discussion is getting me all teary-eyed! We happily co-slept with our boy until he was about 1 year. It was such a happy, cuddly time for all three of us. Night nursing was a breeze. At a year, he just became uncomfortable to sleep with (feet in our ribs, and such) so we moved him to a twin bed. That way, I was able to lay with him to nurse at bed time and in the morning. It was a VERY easy transition for us. He never slept in a crib.

As far as "personal time" with my husband... I don't remember very well, but I think we just got creative! When he was asleep, we'd slip away to another room, or find other times of the day. It was kind of fun. Plus, the time we got to spend cuddling with our boy was such a special bonding time for us that I think our marriage was strengthened through that. BUT, that's only because we were BOTH completely on board with it.

Now, our boy is 4. (And very well adjusted and independent, by the way.) But, oh, how I miss our cuddly times. Such sweet sweet memories.

We coslept with our 3 year old until she was about 2. Now she comes in our bed in the morning, around 7-7:30 and snuggles for 1/2 hour or so before we all get up. As for marital time, my husband and I made good use of the other rooms (ie-living room/guest bed) in the house. That was fine then, but now, we don't have an extra private sleeping space in the apartment. And we have a newborn as well.

He's cosleeping with us, but I do plan to get a crib eventually. Hopefully he and his sister will go to bed in their bedroom, my husband and I will get some time together. When we're actually going to sleep or when the new baby wakes up for his first nursing during the night, I'll bring him back into our bed.

My son has basically slept with us since he was big enough not to be squished. He's 4.5 and says he's gonna sleep with us forever. yeah. He has a great bed, but doesn't want to sleep there. We put him in there sometimes when it's just not working, but that's a two-hour reprieve at best. Some nights it's aggravating, but for the most part, I don't blame him for wanting to be cozy and warm with his family. On the other hand, next time, I'm getting a queen bed for the kid's room, too. I'm not opposed to sleeping in his bed alone.

When I first heard about co-sleeping on Donahue (boy does that date me!), I was vehemently opposed to it, and remember being particularly averse to Dr.Sears, who was advocating it.

Funny how life turns out... Ever since having children, our bible has been Dr. Sears' baby book and we are circumstantial co-sleepers, and quite happy about it (I can't even remember why I was so opposed to it in the past). Whenever we travel, we try to get a king-sized bed so that all 4 of us can fit comfortably. My biggest worry is that our extremely wiggly 4 year old will hit the 1 year old, so she gets extra cuddling. Whenever anyone is sick or fussy, they come to bed with us. When they were little, we had them in a bassinet, and then a small crib, next to our bed. And when our 1 year old awakes at 5 or 5:30, into bed he comes ;the 4 year old climbs in on her own whenever she needs to.

We have had criticism from only one source, my MIL, who finds it "unhealthy" (to be polite about it), but her feelings are in keeping with a rather conservative and repressed nature, so we don't take it to heart.

We cherish these times because we know how brief and fleeting they are.

My son has slept in his bassinet/crib since day one. I think because of that and a strictly enforced sleeping schedule, he has been sleeping 10 hours straight through the night since he was 4 months old. We never had to "cry it out" either. But for families who like co-sleeping, more power to you. I like my space and don't need the constant worry of crushing him during the night. Co-sleeping for me would involve more worrying than sleeping.

anything that doesn't matter by the time the child is 30 seems fine to me. Co-sleeping is not my style, and I treasure the quiet evening time I have once my daughter goes to sleep in her crib and I can be in the LR with my husband, and then in our own bedroom. But if your child learns to sleep, that's fine. We used the "Good Night, Sleep Tight" (by Kim West) method when my daughter was 1, and it was miraculous.

In my experience so far, bedtime and sleep are always great targets for criticism - my mother, for instance, thinks we put our daughter to bed way too early (and implies that we are bad parents because we don't want to spend more time with her).

I always had a policy of "nine months in, nine months out." They spend nine months in the coziest environment imaginable, and I guess it always seemed rather harsh to birth a baby and then stick the infant in a crib, alone in another room, without any warmth nearby. So my goal was to cosleep for at least the first nine months, as part of "attachment parenting." We kept a little moses basket in the bedroom, beside the bed at first, because I was nervous about sleeping in the bed with my first born. I thought I'd roll over and squish her. But after a c-section, getting in and out of bed was excruciating, and we ended up keeping her in the bed with us. That's when I discovered that even while in a dead sleep, there was really no concern of squishing her. :P You unconsiously stay a safe distance away. I know that they advise not to cosleep if you drink or take certain medications, because it can affect your alterness....but that's an entirely different issue. ;)

I learned to nurse while laying down, and because of that, she could nurse when she wanted to, and we'd both get a full night of sleep. It was fantastic! No more waking up in the night 4 or 5 times to nurse! No more zombie-mom during the day! No sleep deprevation!

We transitioned her to a bed when she was 2, as her little brother was on the way and I wasn't sure it was safe to cosleep with an infant and a toddler. It was much easier than I had anticipated, as I always heard horror stories of parents who were cosleeping with 5 or 6 year olds, and how they couldn't get the child out of their bed. We still allow her into the bed if she has a nightmare or wants to snuggle. It doesn't happen very often. But I think it's important for her to know that the option is there. I know that I would be devistated if my husband refused to comfort me. I can only imagine how it would feel to a young child.

My 2 year old son is still cosleeping with us, and we (all three of us) love it. He's a snuggly little guy, and I'm kind of sad for the day that he'll be getting his big boy bed (aiming for December).

Oh, and for what it's worth, our marriage hasn't suffered in the least bit due to cosleeping. In fact, I think it's brought us closer together, watching our children sleep, and smiling over how wonderful they are. We have our, uh...alone time in other areas of the home. ;) It takes a little creativity at times, but we certainly aren't deprived!.

Wow, this is much longer than I intended it to be!

My first son slept with us for 6 months - and then in a crib in our room - and didn't sleep through the night until he was 10 months old (and by through the night I mean maybe 11pm-4am) Today, at 4, he is still a terrible sleeper. Our five month old never slept with us and has been sleeping through the night (11 hour stretches) in his own room since three months. I don't know if this is just differences in temperment or because of their early sleeping, but it is still my four year old who prevents me from sleeping through the night, not my infant.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the potential dangers of co-sleeping. There was an article last week with some scary statistics in Philadelphia- http://www.philly.com/philly/news/local/10759857.html
This article seems to lump co-sleeping in with sleeping in other non-crib environments but still the number of deaths was frightening.

Phillymama, I feel like that article shows how clearly our culture is against co-sleeping. It does not explain safe vs unsafe co-sleeping. It's headline could just as easily have been "A warning about cluttered cribs" but instead it zeroed in on co-sleeping. It might have said, "Some parents tried to "do the right thing" by leaving their child alone in a crib with blankets and stimulating toys." NYC had an anti-co-sleeping campaign too. But it is true that lots of traditionally co-sleeping cultures have far less/virtually no SIDS deaths. I personally think lots of people would be better served by being educated about safe co-sleeping. http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/safe.html

lb - I agree that this article seemed to have an anti-co-sleeping bent. The other thing I thought was interesting was that this article focused on co-sleeping as a by-product of low-economic status vs. the NYT article which was more about families choosing co-sleeping for philosophical reasons. Maybe there is a greater danger in the reluctant/occasional co-sleeper group. If you are choosing to co-sleep every night then you most likely create a permanent safe environment in your bed, but if your baby/child just ends up there sporadically are you are less likely to have created a safe environment? Perhaps that is why SIDS deaths are lower in cultures where co-sleeping is the norm.

Phillymama, I totally agree. That's why I think that giving some attention to safe co-sleeping would probably be a good public health measure. No more "abstinence only" education!

I am a mom of a 2 year old and newborn. We are unplanned cosleepers as I nursed with both. Now with our 2month old I can't imagine not cosleeping because it seems the only way for me to get any decent sleep as well as some good cuddle time with my son...I don't have as much one on one time with him since he is my second. I used to be so nervous about it but now I realize that I don't move in my sleep and I keep him on my side and not sandwiched between my less than predictable husband. He's still too small to roll over off of our queen size bed but when he's big enough to do so he'll be making the move to the crib. He's a much better cuddler than my husband anyway.

I'm not a co-sleeper. We all sleep better (including her) with her in a bassinet. (She's now sleeping 12 hours straight at night, which seems longer than any of her peers, from talking to the other moms I know). Plus, with a newborn, I feel like the marriage needs some extra attention. If co-sleeping works for you, great. It's just not my thing, and I don't think there's any stigma to co-sleeping, except maybe with older people.