apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

Good for her. I had that kind of freedom when I was younger and I'm now a very confident, capable woman. I hope that I'll be strong enough to give my son the same liberties. (And that I don't fall into "the world was different then" thinking.)

Heck ya! (of course we'll see when my toddler wants to try)....

My parents sent me to Venezuela at 16 to see friends--where I was promptly greeted by police with automatic rifles--it's good for kids to get out a little!

I say good for her too. I also had that kind of freedom. Why are parents judgmental of other parents? Why are parents so afraid to let their kids live. Let them see what is out there in this big bad world. Are kids will fail, they will get hurt and they will then learn how to survive. We do not own our children we guild them. Give your children those liberties and they will thrive.

I'm all for independence but I think 9 years old is still a bit young. I grew up in the city but I didn't take the subway to school by myself until I was 14.

He's a bright kid and his mom trusted him to get home on his own. You treat every kid differently based on their interests and intellect. Maybe she just inspired him to be the next Rick Steves? The world just isn't that scary or mean, especially to kids. In fact, when I was nine years old the kids on the playground making fun of me did a whole lot more damage than strangers ever did in my whole life.

Independence all the way!

Heck, I remember summers as a kid, past 10 or so, when my mom would lock us out with a stern warning not to come back inside until lunch. And after lunch, we didn't come back in until dinner. We drank from the hose, ran around the neighborhood using our imaginations and making up games, we went to the candy store halfway across town, unaccompanied.

So many of the things our parents let us do would get them put under the eye of DCFS these days... And I think that's a sad thing. Our independence made us into the self-sufficient, confident adults we are today. I feel sorry for kids who aren't allowed to, or can't be virtue of circumstance, roam.

I've been wondering about a similar thing lately. I work downtown now and would like my 15 year old to be able to take the Metra from our home not too far out in the 'burbs to meet me in the summer. She's very diligent, smart, and has been flying alone for years. It's a hurdle and I wonder if I'm over thinking it or if other 15 year olds get around town on their own. I wasn't raised where we had access to mass transit, so I just don't know. What do you think?

1. I think 9 is too young.
2. I wonder if she would have allowed this with a daughter.
3. I wonder if she would have allowed this if it wasn't also "material".

And I don't mean any of that in a snarky way. I really am curious. In the pro/con list she probably ran thru in her head, she had a pro that I wouldn't have in my list (pretty good story idea).

I grew up with all sorts of freedom, but I don't think I'd allow my 3rd grader ride home on the subway alone. Just last year some dude exposed himself to her when I was sitting right there. No, not yet.

I grew up in Maine, so it was a bit different from NYC (where I now live with a toddler), but my parents used to send me to visit my aunt in Rhode Island by myself. I took the bus and had to transfer at least once that I recall. I was always admonished to sit in the front seat and let the bus driver know where I was going and that I was by myself, but otherwise I was on my own. I never came to a bit of trouble.

I agree that it comes down to the kid. A neighbor of mine is worried about his daughter taking the subway to high school this fall - not because of her age but because she tends to have her head in the clouds and he's worried she'll be reading a book or daydreaming and will miss her stop.

When I was in preschool I knew how to take the PATH to meet my dad at his work in Jersey and we'd go back home to NYC. I was accompanied by my mom, of course. Kids should learn basic things like how to get back home, just in case.

I would rather have that kind of independence as a kid than these adults I see in the Metro looking like little lost puppies, because it's their first time taking the train.

Why is this news?
I rode the bus to school alone at 6, and rode my bike to school with two other girls at 9. The second school was in downtown Oakland, next door to a very rough high school.

One of the reasons I chose to raise my daughter in the city was that she'd be able to get around on her own, and not have to rely on me to drive her places.

She's only 3, so she's not getting on the bus by herself just yet, but I fully intend to put her on the yellow school bus the first day of kindergarten, and let her ride the public bus somewhere between 7 and 9. Of course, I live in Seattle, not NYC, but still. The kid is 9! I was babysitting at 10.

Good for her! Kids need a little responsibility - they rise to the challenge, given the chance. My parents used to stress about situations like this, but I relished it.

I've never lived in NYC so I can't compare how things are vs. where we live. With that said, I would never let our kids go out alone when they're only 9. That's too young. It's a scary world out there and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to our children because I was not there with them.

I grew up with the opposite -- we moved to downtown Buffalo when I was in kindergarten -- and my mother freaked every time I left the apartment on my own -- basically, it was instilled in me that the outside is a very dangerous place.

Unfortunately, it stuck.

Doesn't matter that we moved somewhere lovely and safe by the time I was in third grade, that I was an overly responsible kid (babysitting by the third grade)... it is part of my core, and I have been fighting it my entire life. I am definitely not an explorer, something that my husband constantly bemoans.

I applaud that mother for realizing the dangers of not letting go, and allowing her son to set his own pace. Having grown up taking the subway, he was comfortable with it, so I don't see that it was so risky. Plus, it was a weekend afternoon, a very safe time to try it.

I also, grew up with the opposite. In fact my mother, would not let me play in the backyard without supervision! As full on as it sounds, she truly had the best intentions.

As a child, I must admit I was freaked out, about the thought of murderers, kidnappers & rapists.

But as soon as I hit my teens, that all pretty much disappeared. I started travelling the world alone at 17 and now at 28, I have not stopped exploring. I have visited every continent in the world. So Monika1, I think it's more your personality than the way you were raised. But, that is just my opinion.

I can honestly say that I am not afraid of anything, BUT, I still do take the "better be safe then sorry" method. E.g, I don't walk alone in a dark alley by myself, if I go into an empty carpark at night, I have my keys ready and try as much as I can to make sure the coast is clear, and I also like having security in my home (bars, shutters or an alarm system).

I live everyday without the fear of things happening, but I try and make the most sensible decisions when I can.

That's exactly the way I plan to raise my kids.

Eh. I think 9 is a little young. I grew up in NYC, and rode the subway and bus alone (or with friends) from age 11. My almost 8 year old would love to roam our neighborhood now (in Texas) with his friends or alone, but I'm not ready yet.

All that pride would vanish if the boy never came home. Why do we want our kids to grow up so fast? Little girls in short skirts and makeup in elementary school, girls pregnant at 11 yrs old and...well I'll could go on for days.

I agree Lizzy....Do any of you posters even have kids?? Do you ever read the papers or pay attention to the news? Back in the 70's when most of us were kids they still had mandatory institutionalization for the insane so Yes, when I was a kid I roamed in the woods and walked to the penny candy store. Today no way.

"Do any of you posters even have kids??"

I do. 2 daughters. And I'll tell you, I was 16 when I learned to ride the subways in NYC and as a mother of a 15 year old I would not put her on there alone. Not because I don't trust her. She's a very smart and diligent girl. I don't trust the other people on there. There are some pretty predatory and opportunistic people out there. As another poster said, it would be all good until she didn't come home. I'd never be able to live with myself.

Gee, who would have thought riding public transport alone would be so highly correlated with early sexualisation of pre-teen girls. I'm so glad I had a low-income upbringing where I had no CHOICE, unlike these twats who hire babysitters to make breakfast and drop their children off to school because they have to leave a little early (totally real assignments, a friend works for a babysitting agency).
The class implications of this sort of discourse make me sick. Yeah and the stupid crap about make-up.

Are all the commuters on the subway really going to hurt your kids? I think the people that are anti this are "cab people" and probably afraid of public transportation.

I was riding the train to school and all around the city myself as an 11 year old girl. And no, this wasn't the seventies, this was the 90s. If you aren't an idiot, New York is very safe purely because of all the people around all the time. If you can't let your kid learn to make safe choices, what will you do when they go to college and are not armed with any common sense experience?

I do think 9 is a bit young and I suspect that she may not have allowed it for a girl. How far was this really, was it a direct trip?

I rode my first public bus at age 20, and was completely lost(country girl). I would expect kids to be riding transit alone by 12/13, also what i considder home alone age, and babysitting age. But who knows, maybe growing up in the city will grow percocious navigators.

my parents were bus drivers in los angeles in the 80s. They would often get kids as young as 5 riding the bus alone. My parents took special care of these kids, because they knew that a parent would have to be real hard up to put a kindergartener on a bus by themselves. I started using the Metro at 12 alone. I've been lost, felt up, physically and verbally threatend, but I would never trade that experience for anything. My brothers started taking the bus home from school when they were in 5th and 7th grade. It builds character, self reliance and gives them a whole new outlook on the city.

Well, I lived in a community where there was a state mental institution and in the Regan years they released all the patients, so I can say that labchick's assessment is not entirely accurate. I wandered fairly freely from the time I was 8-10 within a couple mile radius of my parents house. We walked to school on our own from the time we were in 1st grade. This was in a town of 30,000. When my friends and I got home from school, there was rarely a parent at home and we had no problems with that. We all had bikes and went pretty much anywhere we wanted.

Also, I lived in Tokyo when I was 10 and rode the subway wherever I wanted. That was a wonderful experience.

A child can be snatched out of your home, a restaurant, a shopping mall, a public restroom -- even if you are just feet away. If your child is ready, you encourage them to move forward and test the waters of their own independence.

Some kids near my neighborhood catch the school bus on the corner two or three houses down from where they live, and their mothers walk them down and wait with them until the bus comes. I'd much rather be that 9 year old on the subway than those suburban kids with their mothers. I can't imagine how much I would have hated growing up without ever being out of eyesight of an adult.

And yes, I am a parent.

I am the parent of an almost 9 year old girl in San Francisco.

I grew up in a small NorCal town where my brother and I were free to ride our bikes anywhere on our side of Main Street. We couldn't cross Main because it was also a highway. We were latchkey kids from the time I was in 2nd grade on (he was in 6th). At my grandparents' house where I kept my pony I was allowed to ride the logging roads and deer trails all day alone from when I was 7. (I still ride and now I think that's crazy considering how many times I got dumped while in the woods! haha)

While I would love to have my daughter ride MUNI to school on her own - stops are only a block from our house and her school - I just don't trust *HER* yet. Her first day on a school bus she got off at the wrong stop - luckily it was near another school that took her in until I could run out from downtown in a panic.

Also, I heard that kids have to be 10 to be left home alone (ever?) so it makes sense that solo bus rides should also have that same age threshold.

I'm ultimately forced to always err on the side of "better safe" due to the sometimes contentious relationship I have with her dad - and I can't provide any ammo should he decide to fight for custody. But I do look forward to the day soon when she can start to have some independence. She's definitely the kind of kid that will do better without an adult nipping at her heels all the time.

SIGH... life in the Big City, eh?

Okay, firstly I have to comment that the people who are talking about their independence in reference to places that aren't NYC can't really say anything. NYC isn't Seattle or any other place. I should know, I grew up there. Not that long ago either (I'm nineteen now) and I have to say, nine? Way too young to take the subway. I wasn't even allowed to walk home the THREE BLOCKS from my school to my house by myself at nine. And I lived in a good neighborhood. I wasn't allowed to come home by myself until I was thirteen. New York is dangerous. It's not about how "with it" a nine-year-old is, it's about other people. You can never be too careful.

I've lived in NYC since the seventies when things were a lot hairier than they are now, and I let my daughter use public transportation. She went to school by public bus from the second grade on. I'm not sure when she started taking the subway alone, but what this woman let her kid do was not at all reckless, in my opinion.

City kids learn to be savvy and alert in crowds in a way people in the suburbs or rural areas never do. I was glad I lived here when my daughter reached middle school, because she could go places after school without having to be driven around. And, of course, when she hit high school, there was no anxiety that she would be in a car with a driver who was drinking, because she was either on a bus, a subway or in a taxi.

I grew up in NYC and was taking public transportation(bus/subway) by myself by the time i was 9. I don't see what the big deal is....

Um, I live in NYC right now and see nine-year-olds alone on the subway every morning. NYC is a lot different/ homogenized/ safer than people tend to think. It really is like letting your child on the public bus anywhere else. There's also the lovely trend of "overparenting" written about right now, where the risk for some children is removed from EVERYTHING - all the corners are padded, all the bad guys erased from comic books, movies... that's not real life, and it's awful to release a totally censored child into a whole other world at 18. Prepare your kids, yes, but prepare them intelligently. Letting you child walk home down dimly lit abandoned streets? No. Taking public transport where there are people around, undercover police and plenty of station agents, in case anything goes wrong? Perfectly ok.

I live in Manhattan and see lots and lots of kids age 9 or so traveling the buses and subways, both on their own and with other kids. In fact, I observed a few today. A girl of about 9 or 10 got on the bus with a boy about the same age and they were having such an intelligent conversation, about school, grades, a certain teacher, etc., that I was impressed. After he got off at his stop, she rode on alone and it never occurred to me to worry about her.

I'm still struck by the irony that, at age 17, my parents would not let me take the bus into downtown Portland by myself or even with friends, but they sent me off to France on an exchange program where I took rode my bikes all over Versailles by myself and took trains and buses to Chartres accompanied only by my 16-year-old host brother.

I think a street-savvy kid who knows his way around NYC isn't in any more danger doing this than if accompanied by an adult.

Nine is way too young. Seriously? Come on, you need street smarts and you need some skills. It's too high a risk... seriously a place like NYC, Chicago, LA-- I don't think they can go at it alone until at least 14 or 15. I AM a city person, always have been and always will be. A 9 year old should not and cannot be independent. They are dependent!

It's a bit frustrating that parents go to such extremes... people who grew up in restrictive families want to give lots of independence to their kids, people who had a lot of independence (or parents who were aloof or disconnected) then want to baby their kids to death. Just pick a middle, why all the friggin drama.

Alex- how/when do you think kids develop these 'street smarts' and 'some skills' if they're never allowed out on their own?

Just curious.

I have no idea if 9 is too young or not for NYC subway- i've never lived there. I do, however, applaud that finally a parent who is brave enough to actually give their kids some independence / responsibility is getting publicity.

It's one thing to be safe, it's another thing to live in a bubble. Get out, get dirty, get scraped knees and fall and break a bone or two. It's called life experience, and you get it by experiencing life. Making mistakes is the best way to learn.

That said, when you allow them 'graduated' freedom (start small, work bigger), make sure they aren't so uninformed they've got a target on their foreheads.

Why is this news?

Larissa89, maybe your parents wouldn't let you is the reason why you didn't do all that stuff. Also, maybe safety is a perception.

It totally depends on the kid, imo, and I don't think 9 is young for a mature 9-year-old who has grown up in the city and knows the subway routes. Part of me thinks all this hysteria about parenting (and of course, I'm not talking about true abuse) is just a deep-seated fear that we can't control what happens to our OWN kids, so we have to get all worked up about what other parents are doing wrong as an outlet.

I walked home from school with a group of friends when I was 9. Sure, I could have been abducted, but a very famous abduction case actually happened near my house when I was about 13, and the kid was with a parent at the time--just not within sight at that particular moment.

I don't know about you all, but when I was 9? My mother threw me out of the house in the mornings (in the summer), and didn't want to see me again until dinnertime. Just like every other parent in the 70's and early 80's. We ran in packs through the neighborhood, and the woods, and the swamps, basically unsupervised, until moms started calling us in for dinner. And I know my childhood was pretty typical.

Why are parents so much more uptight about safety and security these days? Kidnapping is no more prevelant now than it was 20 years ago, yet everyone is way more paranoid. We all lived to tell about it, people! The world is NOT a more dangerous place than it used to be. Check your crime statistics.

I don't really see the difference between taking the subway home and walking home from school.

In fact one would think the latter would be more safe. There are more people around you whereas walking home... well the opportunity for kidnapping is much more a real possibility.

By the time I was 8 I was taking the bus into town from the suburbs - doing the weekly shop for my Mum - and taking the bus back again - all on my lonesome

People get abducted and murdered when they are grown-ups - its not just children that bad things happen to

Children are not suddenly going to become safe once they reach a magical age

Teach your children to be outgoing, confident and self-assured and to take sensible safety precautions that any adult would take and give them the freedom to live their lives

I'm with the independence people - I grew up in NYC and Washington, DC and my sister and I started taking public transpo around 8 or 9...we did great. In fact, we would take the metro to see our mom at work after school. I wonder sometimes if some of this, which is such a class-based issue by the way, is also about the guilt that so many working parents have about not spending enough time with their children. Now that I live in LA it's sad to me that most parents drive their kids everywhere, creating a dependence on each other that is quite frankly a bit creepy. Nine years old, boy or girl, yes, old enough to take the subway, the bus and even a cab. Alone.

I live in a progressive city of 200,000, in an area close to downtown that suburbanites here would consider too "urban" (meaning unsafe--it isn't). When my son was in fifth grade (so 10 or just-turned 11), he snuck out of the house to meet a friend on the bike path that runs behind our house. He was gone from midnight to 4 am, which is when I woke up and noticed he was missing. He came in nonchalantly about 20 minutes after that, clearly not understanding why I was hysterical. While the sneaking out without permission was bad, he felt that he had carefully planned his outing and remembered to be safe by bringing his cell phone and a pocket knife with him (please, no comments about the pocket knife--I know). He was clearly proud of himself when he got back (albeit sorry he had upset me).

Since that time he has gained more, not less, freedom, and is always very super-responsible about letting me know where he's going and with whom. He gets to ride his bike or walk all over the city. By contrast, my coworkers who live in suburbs allow their kids absolutely no freedom at all. Even the ones who have bus stops less than a block away drive them every day. They're being taught they're too good to ride the bus, and too "special" to be exposed to any risk at all. These kids are learning fear, racism, and overprotection from an early age. You can bet very few of them will ever be people who live in cities as adults or know how to get by without a car. This to me is a bigger divide in our culture than almost anything else right now.

Is 9 too young to ride the subway in Manhattan? Probably for some kids, but not others. As other posters have said, it depends on the child. And in my experience a child who is asking for freedom is going to find it either with or without permission. I applaud this mother for knowing her child and going with her gut instinct.

Too many people have the flawed logic of... when I was 9 I was living alone on the streets. Look, cities are bigger today, cities are inherently different than they were just a decade ago. Some are better and some are worse. A 9 year old child cannot defend himnself/herself against a criminal. At least a 13 year old has some wherewithal to defend itself. A 9 year old? Are you kidding me? Come on. We'd all love to dream of a safe world were children can be independent at 9. But they aren't independent. Then there is the other extreme of dependence until they get married. Why all the drama? Find a reasonable middle and go for it. Would I allow my 9 year old to travel alone in NYC? No. Would I allow them to travel in NYC when they are 14? In a group? Hopefully, yes.

"You can never be too careful."

Wow, that's sad. I'm the parent of an 8 yo daughter and 10 yo son. The thought of letting them do something like this is frightening, but it's also necessary. Ironically, based on prior comments, I'd be less inclined to let my son do it (too implusive) than my daughter (very level headed and aware).

By almost every measure, kids are safer today than they were 20 years ago; cities are generally safer too. I can't say catagorically that I'd allow either of them to do this, but for many people, fear seems to have replaced common sense. That can't be healthy for parent or child.

I don't know. In the heart, you're NEVER ready to let go, but watching them every minute doesn't keep them safe, it just keeps them stupid -- not to mention incapable of taking care of themselves. This may have been a bit extreme -- child too young, excapade too dangerous -- but you have to let go, let them try things that won't kill them if they do fail but provide opportunities for them to learn how to get themselves OUT of trouble. I probably wouldn't have let my daughter (now grown) take the subway alone at age 8, but she was a latchkey kid at 9 because I had no choice. It made her more independent than you can imagine.

Sorry! I do know how to spell escapade.

I'd feel more comfortable with the idea of this if her son had been with another kid. I was fairly free to go wherever I pleased from a very young age... as long as I had a pal along with me. The buddy system works wonders. Kids having cell phones these days helps some, too, but I wouldn't feel at ease with sending a young child on the subway alone.

I'll probably set my "public transportation alone" age at around 12. Roaming the neighborhood on foot/bike will be acceptable from a younger age, as long as our kids are with each other or a friend.

I was about 8 when I started taking the bus alone but it was only for pre-determined routes. I was about 9 when I started to take the subway 2 stops home after my swim team workout at the YMCA but again that was a pre determined route. As for independant travel on the subway was about 14.

wow.... some of you are a bunch of worry warts....
IMO... there are basically 3 types (on this issue) of mothers (or parents if you will... though generally it is the moms who make these decisions..)
#1= "normal" mothers of reasonable means...(75%??)
#2= "normal" mothers of NO (read poverty) means (24.5%)
(ok, I made those statistics up... what is the poverty level at nowadays???? fill in those #s)
#3= f'ed up moms... less than .5%... (though because they get 999.9% of the news... it seems way more)...
so... WHO do you think is gonna let their kid get on the bus/subway/walk home alone???
well ALL of the "NORMAL" moms are gonna THINK LONG & HARD about what their particular child is capable of & make NOT AN AGE BASED DECISION...(for all of you who have decided that NINE is TOO young) but one based on THAT particular child .... some of the poverty stricken moms MAY have to make a decision based on what they HAVE to do..... NOT what they NEED to do... for that particular child

(which is why I have such an issue w/ these stupid "child endangerment" laws...as some parents are NOT neglectful... just poor.... last year, in a low income area, 2 cousins.. age 6 & 11 were walking from one parent's home to another (2.5 blocks away-- in a neighborhood) & the 6 year old was hit by a car-in a crosswalk w/ a stop sign! -hit & run no less- & HIS parents were charged w/ child endangerment.. because the law here is that you have to be 13 to 'babysit', 11 if it is your sibling... apparently cousins do not count)
oops sorry,I digress...
but yeah... 9 is WAY too young for SOME children...& just fine for others..... and I am going to trust the child's parents to make that decision PER child... (I had one child who (whom??) I could have left home ALONE (no kidding!!!) at age 3.. and another who I STILL worried about at age 17!!!!)
and for the poster who applauded the mother who FINALLY did the "right thing" in fostering her child's independence (sorry if misquoting... sooo many posts!)
well until recently it was a no brainer... but NOW there are all these LAWS (see above).... I do not think the parents are soooo afraid of what will happen to their children... but what will happen to them (the parents) in this over protective/ law happy society...

I would not say that letting a 9 year old take public transportation in NYC is any different from taking it in any other metro area. The problem I have is that a 9 year old is still a child. Why do children need to learn to do adult things before they are at least teenagers? It's not like if your kid doesn't travel across the city or country by himself before he/she is ten then they will never be self confident and adventurous. I feel like my little girls only get so long to be children and then they have to be adults for much longer and so I would like to preserve those years as children and then transition them into adulthood when they are in their early teens. I think there is a balance between independence and safety that can be found. Obviously this is what I feel is best for my children, but, as evidenced by many posts above, I think each parent(s) has to ultimately decide what they are okay with and what works for their child.

I grew up on the southside of Chicago. When I was 11, my mother allowed me to take public transit to and from a summer program at a local university. This required a bus and a train each way. Some parents don't have a better choice. In my mother's case, she had to stop leaving work early to drive home, pick me up, drop me off, then turn around five or so hours later to pick me up and bring me home - all the while, take care of my siblings and get enough sleep to go to work every night. It was either risk losing her job (the only household income) so I would not miss out on opportunities or send me along on public transit. I was perfectly fine and had enough sense to deal with my surroundings. Maybe this 9 year-old is the same way.

It's definitely up to the parents to know if the child is ready or not. I grew up in Queens and was on my own at age 9. I was walking home from school which was 10 blocks away, and I personally think taking the NYC subway on a Sunday afternoon with a lot of people around is much safer than walking alone (or with my friends) on quiet streets in the outer boroughs. There is no call for child endangerment, because bad things happen even to adults. In this case, Izzy wasn't even forced, but was ready and willing to be independant.

It's funny, because the era of Latckey kids was my generation, and I was one of those. There are pitfalls and benefit. If yourkid is ready, there is no reason to keep them trapped by perceived childhood. It's not adult to travel. It's human. You either have a pretty good sense of self in the world or not. I know grown women who are scared to navigate a city on public transit. So I guess if your kid is ready, let them go. I was and nothing happened that did not make me wiser and stronger. Keeping a child a child does not mean keeping them from learning to navigate the world. Part of children's adventures are firsts. First time to ride a bus. First time to play third base. First time to get lost. Etc. Child safety is about prepping them too. Not just keeping them from stuff. I mean whether my kid takes the bus regularly or not, by God I hope I teach them enough to at least know how to get home if there was an emergency. Even at 9.

I (female) started going to school by bus and train from the age of nine. Despite living in a Sydney suburb - there were as many weirdos and monsters around then by percentages as there are now - I survived, and by the age of 11 was riding the train into the city and back daily to high school.

It was fun then, I think it's fantastic to get kids out and about! Good on you both, Lenore and Izzy!!!

I learned to ride the subway when I was 8, and was taking public transportation to school and back from the time I was 9. Most of my classmates did the same. I was traveling overseas by myself from the age of 15.

I believe you can teach a child streetsmarts without instilling fear. From the time I was very small, my parents pushed me to ask directions, buy tickets, taught me to use a pay phone...

There were times when I felt unsure (like when my dad dropped me off on a subway line I didn't know and told me to get to school), but on the whole it's made me quite self-sufficient, and comfortable in new situations.