apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

regular bedtime = sanity. we are total sticklers. lights out at 7:15 (super-early), but it helps ensure enough rest for our super-active 6YO. dinner, shower and hopefully into pajamas by 6ish. that gives us a solid hour for quiet play (puzzles, drawing, listening to stories, hand-manipulatives, reading) and independent reading before lights out. proper winding down makes falling asleep and the actual sleep go much more smoothly. rushing to bed usually makes for a restless night...

I have a major problem with bedtime. Wait is this an advice blog? I hope so! We institute a strict schedule at bedtime, which has worked wonderfully for our 6 year old for years. My 4 year old, however, completely revolts against it. We've done the exact same thing for both children, but I'm quickly discovering that what works for one won't necessarily work for the other. He'll get out of bed 100 times with 100 brand new excuses or stall techniques every night. We can make him go to bed at a certain time, but we can't MAKE him go to sleep. So every morning, our 6 year old leaps out of bed refreshed, and every morning, our 4 year old rolls over and pulls the blankets over his head and proclaims that he won't be going to daycare.

Frustrating! A million things tried, a million things failed. I just don't know what to do. In this instance, routine is failing us.

my two boys are 3 and 7 months respectively, and both have been great bed-timers from just a couple of months old. We tried to make bedtime a special, happy time they could expect. Bath. PJs. Brush teeth. A story book (or 2 or 4) with mommy and/or daddy and a lullaby. Then lights out. And we have stuck to an early bedtime (7pm) because our toddler wakes up by 7 every morning, whether he's gone to sleep at 7 or at 11. Not to mention he falls asleep in his dinner about twice a week. Sure, we have some rough nights, like when he transitioned from crib to bed, or when he's had an over-stimulating day, but as a general rule we enjoy our snuggles and story time together each night. Same for our baby.

Speakaboo -- sounds like you have a night owl, who probably also gets more wired as he gets tired.

Our soon-to-be-6-year-old daughter is like that, and it has been very difficult to get her to sleep at a reasonable bedtime until the past 6 months or so. What we found to work has been to teach her how to still herself.

We started doing it to quiet her down before we would read her a story (she can be annoyingly jumpy during stories). We would make her lie still in her bed, without moving, without saying anything, and with her eyes closed for a whole minute (we would time it). If she made a noise, or moved, or opened her eyes, we would start all over. She thus got used to quieting herself.

Then we applied it to bedtime. Same routine, but the room must be perfectly dark, and often times, we often need to stay with her while she does this in order to provide security (there is obviously no time limit), but she also does this on her own too. She usually falls asleep within minutes this way. They really *are* tired, but just have a hard time calming down.

I think it also helps if parents reinforce their own bedtimes, i.e. show that getting ready for bed on schedule and at least *appearing* refreshed in the morning helps to set the tone. No TV in bedrooms, no TV an hour before bed, warm bath, pjs, books, cuddles, and constantly returning them to bed if they get out.

Parents with night owls may want to consider temporary use of melatonin to reset sleep clocks. We tried it for short stints when my 10 yo was younger, but began using it with him daily a short while after (around age 6). It really helps him to wind down and to sleep through the night. We also use a Go Lite with him seasonally and that helps to regulate his sleep. Thank goodness our toddler is a champion sleeper--it takes more energy than I thought I'd ever commit to help our big kid.

my kid is only 20 months but he gets his milk around 7:15 and is in bed by 8...the very latest is 8:30. we keep this every day...even on weekends.

i have seen kids with no sleep schedule...its bad really bad. give you and your kid a chance and keep them on a sleep schedule. less time outs and gray hairs!