apartment therapy changing the world, one room at a time

I keep a little portfolio of unlined index cards, two colored pens and an assortment of stickers in my purse. I break this out whenever my two year old is getting restless in non-child friendly situations (long dinners out, wedding ceremonies, etc...) It works like a charm. My daughter will draw pictures and then embellish them with stickers. Often, she will give the finished "masterpieces" to our dining companions, someone sitting near us at a wedding, etc. This almost always results in the surrounding adults becoming enamored with my daughter and encouraging her to create more artworks. The added attention of adults increases my daughter's interest in her pen/sticker creations and buys us more good behavior from her! (I only let her use stickers in these situations, so they are viewed as "treats". I also bring a variety of stickers, so she doesn't get bored using the same ones over and over again.)

I sit in the back and, when needed, take them out of the room! Yes, I miss the wedding, but no one else is distracted. If at all possible, I leave them home.

You left out "babysitter." Unless they are in the wedding, leave them home. I will never understand the need to bring your children everywhere.

Our wedding was an evening one and we politely made it clear that it was an adult affair.
But since we knew that between my militantly breastfeeding sister who refused to pump for even one evening, the kids in the wedding and the inevitable bores who you know will insist that "SURELY you CAN'T mean our little puddin' head isn't the EXCEPTION to that rule!" and show up with said puddin' head without RSVP-ing, we simply found a church with a nursery and hired a sitter out of our own pocket for the evening.
It was money well spent.
Puddin' head's parents got to dock him with the toys in the nursery, sister got to socialize and eat in between nursing sessions and the kids had a place with toys and such away from the loud music and boring adult stuff.

The kids in the wedding party went down the aisle and out the side vestry door to the back choir loft where they could quietly watch or use coloring books as they wished (it's too much to ask 3 to 7 years olds to stand up at the front of the church with the grown-ups-- I was the bride and _I_ could hardly manage it!) and all in all- the night went quite well.

These days, we hire a sitter that our little one is crazy about and make sure he has an extra-special treat of a much-loved meal, toy or video to reinforce that "special treat" feeling while husband and I actually GO OUT and talk with OTHER ADULTS!!!

I was always bored stiff at weddings when I was a kid, and don't see why I should inflict that on my children (especially when it's rare that they're actually invited. Why waste a $30 per head entree on a person who'd rather be home eating kraft mac 'n cheese?).

Our family has accused us of ruining their kids because we invited all the children to our wedding. One reason we did that was because many prople were traveling from out of town and we knew how hard it would be for them to find child care. part of it also was wanting to see these children who are spread out all over the country. It was a def acto family reunion. Our wedding was in the afternoon, outdoors under a tent at a B&B in the country so the kids weren't stuck in a ballroom or up way past their bedtime. kids under 5 were seated with their parents, 6 and up were at a huge kids' table. Two of my sister's friends from her special ed. masters program were the "chaperones" for the table. We hit the dollar stores and purchased a small game/toy for each child which was waiting for them at their seat. We had a photo booth the kids took full advantage of. The kids tore up the dance floor. We had a kids' meal of a fruit cup, chicken fingers, fries and veggies. All the kids still talk about our wedding as one of the best times they've ever had. Their parents were able to have their kids at the wedding but still kick back and enjoy themselves because the kids were fully occupied.

To me, weddings are a family affair and children are part of the family, be it our blood family or circle of friends. I was happy to have them at my own wedding and I'm just as happy not to attend any weddings my child isn't welcome at especially if I'm expected to travel across the country to be there.

This is almost 90% of the reason we had a weekday afternoon courthouse wedding. We love our families but just didn't want to deal with the high potential of conflict involved in planning a wedding - the conflict being about children. We love kids just fine, but in general, society has become so rabidly worshipful of children, so obsessive and competitive about who's the more perfect parent, that there is often NO compromise on an issue like this. We invited NO ONE to our wedding, because we believe it's one day that's purely about you and your true love, and no one else.....not about chicken fingers for 5-year-olds or hiring sitters for ANYONE. That's our choice, and our families were fine with it. My SIL even told me she was secretly thankful not to have to drag them to another formal adult event and be expected to watch them every minute and have them see adults drinking.

Weeeellllllllllll..... it was a period of deaths in my family (you don't get to miss out on funerals is my experience) that decided me I wanted to get together with these people at all the weddings and all the christenings (although I am an atheist) and just, well, celebrate! And I am single and childless, but I really want all the kids there having a good time too (noisy and hard work as that can be). It just would'nt be the same (and its harder work getting a sitter, I believe...)

How about: surround yourself with people who have events that are fun and inclusive instead of stiff and formal, and you won't have to worry about anyone having adults-only weddings or an event that's going to be boring for kids.

Oh, if only we could CHOOSE who we "surround" ourselves with!
:o) What a perfect world that would be.

I was looking for the tips on how to keep kids entertained during weddings. We are about to attend one and my son is part of the ceremony. He is 4 and extremely restless. Sounds like a recipe for a disaster but we cannot of course reject my sister-in-law's invitation. The first comment sounds great for when we are at the reception. Any other age-specific tips you guys can share? Thanks!

We've attended 3 weddings with our then 2 year old, two of them on one day! The first one he sat through, though he yelled a big "Yay!" right when it was quiet after they pronounced them man and wife, which was one of the highlights of the wedding for the groom's mother.

The other two we just held him with us till he got antsy, then my husband, who's not as close to the couples, led him outside to play until the reception. He loved all the receptions though.